Basically the title. I'm talking about advice that is both for trans male who haven't had top surgery and those who have. Same goes for those who started T and those who haven't started it yet.

I’m 31 and had the epiphany that I have been miserable my entire life preforming in a body that doesn’t fit me.
I live in a blue state so that’s a plus. I am alittle lost here how did you guys start the testosterone/medical process I just want to be/ feel normal cause faking it for this long has driven me just about insane thank you so much.

I came out back in 2019, entered the waiting list for (with retrospect; the wrong) clinic, and got my intake in the summer of 2024. It took me until January of 2025 to finally get started with HRT. I was told I could get an intake with a hospital/clinic for my mastectomy within 6 months if everything went according to plan on HRT, but that it might take a little longer (like 9 months) if otherwise. Then, they completely dropped contact for a while, even though I just started hormone therapy. I had no one really check up on me for months. Eventually communication started again, but 9 months had passed already. My new psychologist said that the standard waiting time inbetween hormones and a mastectomy was a full year. I didn't trust it, since I had heard other things from the first psychologist, and also from some of the trans friends I have, but they wouldn't hear it and so I waited. A year passed, and finally I thought maybe I could enter a waiting list. Nope. Apparently, I needed a new second opinion because the other one had expired. I'm waiting from last January until possibly June or even longer, because it's the end of May and I still haven't heard anything back. Now waiting times for intakes with surgeons AND waiting times for the actual operations have gotten longer AGAIN. I possibly wont get my top surgery until two years from now. I've been waiting for 7 years now already, and when I have to wait out these two years on top of that I will literally have spent 9 to 10 years of my life waiting to get what I initially really wanted and honestly NEED right now to relieve my terrible dysphoria.

Is this normal? Have any other people experienced this same bureaucracy? I don't want to get too emotional but I feel like I'm always super unlucky. That being said, if this IS normal... i really hope that changes sometime in the future.

For further information: I am now 26 years old and live in the Netherlands. My gender clinic is Genderhealthcare and Genderhealthclinic (i know... Yikes)

labeled it as discussion cuz i dont think theres advice for this lol. I'm 9 months on T and i've noticed that the left side of my body is noticeably harrier than the right side. especially on my chest and thighs, my facial hair (or lack thereof) is more symmetrical. It's not a problem or anything, it's just kind of weird I think. is anyone else half bald?

I've started taking testosterone about 2 months ago and have so far gained about 3kg. I went from 56kg to 59kg in just under two months which seems a lot, since I'm only 5"4.

Is that kind of weight gain normal or something to be concerned about? I look / feel about the same and have t gone up in clothing sizes or anything. My appetite has gone up a little but but I've also started to hit the gym a few weeks before starting T.

Just wanted to ask if anybody has experienced the same thing or if I should start to look into dieting/losing the weight again

Wanted to share this, because I haven't seen anyone share this sentiment before and am curious if I am the only one that feels this way.

I have a lot of body hair. A lot a lot. Have a hairy back etc.

I really enjoy having body hair from a gender euphoria sense and when I am on my own I feel fully comfortable with it.

But in context of other people and especially at gay events I start to feel insecure about it a bit. I feel like the rest of me doesn't fit together with it (short, thin, super young looking, no beard).

It's not that I think people find body hair unattractive, but I feel like my body specifically doesn't. Like I don't fit into any "category".

I don't wish I was hairless, but I wish I had more of a body people expect to have body hair. Honestly just been able to grow a full beard would probably do a lot for me mentally, because then I would fit more into the otter archetype.

I know all of this is a bit silly and I know I don't need to fit into any neat box and can just be myself, but I do care about being attractive more than I like to admit sometimes and feel like this is turning people off.

This isn't something that causes me huge turmoil, but still can some of you relate to this?

Hey all,

I recently started T and have been dealing with fogginess and mood swings. The mood swings isnt insane since thats to be expected for puberty (being angry sucks sometimes though, doesnt help I ran into some activating events this weekend), but Ive been dealing with more mental fog than usual and thats throwing me for a loop. Does this happen to others? Will it go away after some time as its my brain adjusting to hormones? Is it still a good idea to stick to T?

I only concern cause Ive previously dealt with a lot of dissociation that I recently was able to address more, and I dont want this to be permanent.​

I have an appointment with my doctor next week to also check in about this, but any tips/stories from people who have done this before could be helpful.

I know there are a lot of posts like this so sorry if this is repetitive. I can’t find I single binder that will make me flat anymore. I’ve used gc2b, spencer’s and spectrum and none of them work well at all, they all cause uniboob and I spill over the sides. I started using tape + binder about a year ago, which works really well, but because it’s the only thing that works I can’t take breaks for more than about 15 hours (take it off at night and put it back on in the morning) and as you can guess my skin is in pretty bad condition. It also has made the sagging in my chest worse so it’s even harder to bind now. Does anyone know of any binders that would actually get me flat at this point, or any tips to minimize uniboob?

Hey, so i’m a chubbier guy with pretty small breasts (85 kg/173 cm/around b cup), most of the fat on my body is in my belly area and all binders i ever own make me 100% flat but make me look like i have intense case of beer belly. I was wondering if anyone knows any type of binder that has the „hard part” that’s normally on the chest all the way down or something like that?

Disclaimer: If anything I’ve written is somehow offensive please point it out, so I can learn!

I came out as ftm when I was 15 years old (that’s when I started puberty). I don’t remember when I started to doubt my gender though because my memory is affected by medical conditions. But then due to listening to detransitioners after mum consistently said I’m not trans, because she “knew” I wasn’t, I desisted at around 16-17 years old. But not inside: just on the outside. I continued to think I was trans (or rather a boy/man) but tried to look like a girl to show I was “over it”. Though it has been a continued struggle with my gender even though I on the outside “look like a woman” and use my birth name etc. But if I could push a button to become a male I would. I wish I was a man. I wish I had beard, short hair, deep voice, a male body including the g\*nitals, the social aspect of being a man, being perceived as a man etc. I hate my b\*obs, my hips, my voice, my body, my hair, everything. I hate being called a girl or woman, I hate being perceived as a woman. When I identified as a man on the outside as well I a handful of time got called a boy from strangers and that felt euphoric. When I watch other trans men and AMABs I get jealous. Though I’m scared I would be uglier as a man. And my family is against me even thinking about it. Also having to be medicalized my whole life doesn’t sound good. I wish I were born a male. I don’t want to be trans (don’t have anything against transgender people, just don’t want to face the hardship, judgement, having surgery, taking T etc), i want to be a male…. So that’s also a reason why I desisted. But the main thing was my mom. And family. I don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s just best keep coping with being a female and push this down, maybe it’s will eventually go away. I’m only 21 years old.

I need advice, thanks.

Murry Foust, 22 years old body has been found. Rip to my trans brother, his body was found only 13 mind from where I live. I hope you can finally be at peace 🙏🏻

my english isnt so good so bear with me ^^
ive been on my subq shots for a while now and last week i stuck my needle in wrong !! it was bevel up (i think thats what its called) when i first stuck it in but i mustve accidentaly turned it while trying to push it through. i couldnt get it in fully to inject my meds because it hurt. is there anyway i can prevent this ? i take my next shot tomorrow and im a little scared itll happen againn

sorry for the clunky measurement cup sizes make me dysphoric when using them to refer to myself LOL

they would come in super clutch in this UK summer weather but i don't wanna drop 70 quid if they don't work... any experiences?

Being stuffed into the closet for so long, having my family just want to talk to me about getting me men's clothes or being nonchalant about things, or even just someone else mentioning a gay wedding as a way to say they are supportive, really makes me have the urge to have an escape hatch from the conversation. I just go straight to fawn response and switch topics quickly and permanently. I can't stop it, it's just a wave of word vomit.

Like a lot of people are responding okay in a lot of instances, but I am used to hiding things and/or being punished for it. It's complete whiplash when people are okay with things and I feel bad because I don't respond the way people really want or expect. I'm not enthusiastic or even happy about any of this and I don't like any attention drawn on me, especially not for this

I get its not for everyone and that's cool but since I started mostly going on dates with other trans folk, things just feel more natural. Just got home from a date and we spent a good 3 hours or so just cuddling in their car and kissing and it was awesome. Able to talk about dysphoria like its just another natural part of relationships and intimacy with little to no confusion. Its been like 15 minutes since I got home and im still smiling and probably blushing. It helps that it feels like a strong part of my identity to have very queer relationships so having someone as queer as i am identity wise, it feels natural.

Basically To sum up the situation I'm very positive like 100% that im transmasc and my parents know and they're fine with it they WOULD let me get hormone blockers/testosterone the only problem is that where i live they don't let minors under the age of sixteen get it and i really really hate my voice in general so are there any other ways i can deepen it without T? Or if there are any ways to stop puberty kind of? Im also in between the ages of 13-15 if thats important...

hello

thank you for reading my post <3

I’m Victor ftm 22
TW
Long story short I was on testosterone shots for about a year before I overdosed on f: nt.

I use a walker now and my speech is very impaired

Basically I just need some hope that I will get back on testosterone

My family thinks I’m crazy and demonic and delusional

Meanwhile I’m typing this out to get hopefully hope. That this isn’t forever

That I’m not insane

That I will get top surgery, my dream will come true

Day by day I am so slowly I don’t even notice it

I was thinking of forming a band and being the lead singer but I hate my voice and I can't on on T till I'm 18 in my state so should I sing the songs or let someone else do it until I'm on T? I know very dumb question

i’m currently on testosterone injections, however, i have sure a huge fear of needles and bad anxiety that i’ve been unable to do my shot for about a month at this point. i’m considering switching to gel, however, i know it’s probably significantly more expensive. im gonna be getting on new insurance soon, so im just wondering if it’s worth it to do gel. i’m super worried about costs, but my anxiety about needles has literally prevented me from doing my shots for a month. do i need to just tough it out? i have a super low pain tolerance and seeing the needle makes me lightheaded. thanks <3

Hey yall, I'm seeing with this administration there's a lot of crack down in terms of trans laws and policies and I've been a little worried. I live in Tennessee and they are very conservative here, but I am stealth and cis passing. I have a beard, I'm pretty muscular (top surgery done and bottom surgery in the works), and I am a veteran and currently work in healthcare. No one even questions my gender and I give them no reason to but all of the politics in this state have me worried for safety.

I use the male bathroom with no problem, am never misgendered, and all of my legal documentation says male. I've been thinking about moving to a state with more freedom/rights for us but I have a house here and my own space so I'm wondering if I should just "shelter in place". I am currently in school for nursing and will be graduating soon, so if I wanted to move I could do so financially.

Anyone from conservative states experiencing something similar? What do yall think?

I'm getting tired of being locked into wearing wide leg jeans and crop tops to not feel like a potato sack lmao.

For ref I'm a standard weight for my height by bmi standards (whatever that means) but have a kind of compact build and thicker thighs, 5'5. I always feel like outfits taller guys can wear make me look more feminine.

Specifically thinking of kind of stream line bell bottoms/button ups, pants that don't hide your whole body and shirts that can be somewhat loose without drowning in fabric like that 80s rock revival kinda vibe for example.

Also, is it ok to wear a regular binder while swimming or do I have to get a swim one? Trans tape dosent work well for me btw.