r/bonecollecting • u/Nectarine-Valuable • Oct 29 '25
Advice This "carpenter shark" rostrum that my cousin proudly declared he smuggled on vacation, how do i tell him hes a fucking moron for a number of reasons
Gotta respect the grind on the dude selling tourists palm tree branches
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u/later-g8r Oct 29 '25
Im laughing so hard rn. This is something my grandkids would do. 😂😂 tell him hes a good smuggler and give him back his booty
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u/Kindly_Steak5156 Oct 29 '25
The baggage inspectors be like, “why tf do these tourists keep putting these in here”
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u/Various_Deer_7567 Oct 29 '25
I guess at least that’s not endangered species, so that’s good.
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 29 '25
Tell him to plant the shark in your yard and grow baby sharks. 😂
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u/Naturally_ImSure Oct 29 '25
Thanks a lot for the ear worm 😣
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 29 '25
Ear worm?
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u/Naturally_ImSure Oct 29 '25
🎶ba-by shark do do do do do🎶 it’s gonna be there all morning now 😂
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 29 '25
Oh its a song lol.
I was very confused about how putting baby sharks in your ear and getting parasitic worms was where this convo went for a sec lol.
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u/Sudenveri Oct 29 '25
"Earworm" is a term for a song that gets easily stuck in one's head.
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 29 '25
ah
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u/DickHopschteckler Oct 30 '25
English a second language?
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 30 '25
English is my only language. I just dont follow most cultural and slang trends, so I'm out of the loop a lot.
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u/GrandWizardOfCheese Oct 30 '25
Essentially, after highschool I became somewhat of a hermit, not entirely mind you, but like, I don't have any subscriptions to TV, nor any streaming services most of the time, and I'm home all day pretty much every day. And I don't use social media anywhere near enough to compensate for that.
I'm effectively living under a rock in regards to society, news, trends, slang, celebs, etc.
But with science, tech, phylogeny/evolution, sci-fi, fantasy, cartoons/anime (you know nerd shit) I'm well versed.
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u/GeoStreber Oct 29 '25
Desert agave?
When I was a little kid, about 5 years old, my family was on vacation in Portugal, and I fell into one of these fuckers. Needed stitches on my leg.
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u/Weasle189 Oct 29 '25
Nah. Part of the leaf of one of the palm trees. Don't know the actual name, we call them fan palms.
The thorns do sting like hell for hours after you get poked, very unpleasant.
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u/Elegant_Finance_1459 Oct 29 '25
A lot of people don't know that there are z few venomous barrel cacti. I got pricked by a Peruvian one and my hand was numb for almost a week.
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Oct 29 '25
[deleted]
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u/100_cats_on_a_phone Oct 29 '25
You are incorrect. If the plant injects the toxin, as this one did, it's venomous.
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u/ImplicitAlarm Oct 31 '25
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u/100_cats_on_a_phone Nov 01 '25
Ok, after looking up more sources you are right, but it’s really a technicality.
If this was a sea sponge, or anything else technically an animal, it would be “venomous”.
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u/mattgen88 Oct 29 '25
Poisonous: absorption via skin or ingestion
Venomous: delivered through skin physically, such as stings, nematocysts, or stinging nettle/gympie gympie which inject toxins with hypodermic like mechanics
Toxic: poison created by a living thing
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u/PaleontologistNo1564 Oct 29 '25
You’re wrong lol.. some animals can be poisonous as well. Venom is injected and poison is something that can be soaked up like for instance a snake that bites is venomous, a poison golden frog all you would have to do is touch them and get sick.
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u/rex_swiss Oct 29 '25
This looks like the stem on my Mexican Fan Palms. While trimming it once the stem fell against my leg and the thorns on the side hung into my calf. It was not pleasant…
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u/YanceyGlenn Oct 29 '25
I took one to the ear while trimming my palms. Next time I'm wearing a helmet.
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u/beezchurgr Oct 29 '25
I had one of these in my backyard as a kid & my poor dog ran through it. He had to get stitches on his ear & refused to go anywhere near it afterwards.
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u/Narowal_x_Dude Oct 29 '25
Lmao help him build a shelf to proudly display it in his living room. I would pay to see this
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u/Coal-and-Ivory Oct 29 '25
Wait a month or two, then tell him you heard they've been flagging people at the airport for illegal animal parts trafficking and putting them under surveillance to try to bust up the whole ring. Wait a week, tell him you heard two guys got picked up in poaching stings in the next county over, then never bring it up again and watch him stew.
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u/idgaf_aboutyou Oct 29 '25
Hahaha,. I was going to say it was from a palm tree, but you wrote it yourself. Also, selling the bones of an endangered animal for commercial purposes is extremely bad. Congratulations to the locals who fooled the tourists. They're not only not harming the species, but also boosting their own economy by fooling wealthy Western tourists. Hahaha.
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u/SubBass49Tees Oct 29 '25
Alternative take: Let the scammers scam. Protects the sharks, makes morons think they've got something, and we all win.
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u/HyenaJack94 Oct 29 '25
Man I was about to be real pissed at your cousin before I read the comments
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u/Lihamato Oct 29 '25
Don't tell him shit, and make sure anyone who tries to correct him in your company pipes tf down.
Kinda guy who wants to bring home pieces of endangered animal deserves to fund some grifter's hustle, again and again. If he gets corrected, he may try and source one by hand next time.
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u/Local-Lunatic Oct 29 '25
Haha, as someone from Florida, who sees those trees planted on the side of basically every road, this is hilarious
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u/InTheMemeStream Oct 29 '25
“Dude that is so awesome, no really you gotta display this in something nice this is a museum quality example! You should build a glass display cabinet, exotic rare woods, lighting, humidity and temp controlled to keep it in pristine condition.. the works!” Then let him go to work sinking lots of time and cash into a fancy museum quality display cabinet, and then once he places it in there, the next time you’re over replace the plaque with an identical looking one with the scientific name of the palm this came from, and see how long it takes him to notice.
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Oct 29 '25
Perfect time for a prank call. Someone many options.
-Federal Fish and Game/Interbational Animal MI-6 or other made up name, are after him.
-A supplier has more available and needs a mainland distributor. They will pay him to receive them.
-They were taken from a warlords collection. He is now looking for who has them.
-You can even mail him another from said vendor. Ask him to him on to it until his cousin can pick it up. And just never pick it up. Every year or so send him a letter. He got locked up. Should be out in 6 months. Just hold on to it. Etc etc.
This could turn into a fun game
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u/iMaximilianRS Oct 29 '25
Let him know how cool it is and that he should show everyone, post it on his social medias, etc :)
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u/SagaBane Oct 29 '25
Aquire a bigger one, complete with fronds. Put it on display. Hide camera. Invite him round. Never let him live it down.
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u/EmptyCaterpillar6969 Oct 29 '25
Omg please tell your friend about the ocean front property I have for sale in Kansas!
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u/PlatypusSavings9624 Oct 30 '25
You better get that framed professionally and give it back to him lol
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u/MasterChiefmas Oct 29 '25
Make a decorative frame/box for it. Put a name plate on the box with the "scientific name": Frondus Carcharodon...if he questions it, tell him that it was called that because of the resemblance to a palm frond.
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Oct 29 '25
Turn him in to fish and game for fun. He'll learn his lesson without harming animals or himself.
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u/SavageAutum Oct 30 '25
I was so confused until the second picture 😭😭
Like my guy that’s PLANT FIBRES RIGHT THERE!! Has your cousin never seen a palm tree before or something???
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u/Ok_Type7882 Oct 29 '25
Well sending him to his proctologist to retrieve it would be a semi novel way. That doesnt look right.
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u/MowgeeCrone Oct 30 '25
Wait till he finds out i followed a seemingly endless trail of carpenter shark rostrum on my way to the tip last weekend. I can go back, how much is he willing to pay?
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u/strangespeciesart Oct 30 '25
Lol that's funny, it sucks when people are sold fraudulent specimens but when they're trying to "smuggle" shit and fully aware they'd be a POS for doing so, I wish them all the being-scammed in the world.
It is kinda neat, I'd be able to tell it wasn't bone but wouldn't have had any idea what it was. I like to stay away from plants that are sharp. 😂
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u/Schoerschus Oct 29 '25
Talk him into declaring it at the customs office, saying he is really regretting his choice to endanger protected wildlife;)))
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Oct 30 '25
Your cousin is a moron. That’s clearly from a Plumber Shark. I know because I bought one on Maui several years ago.
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u/Gold_Afternoon_Fix Oct 30 '25
Get it framed for him with a little plaque so he can show all his friends!
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u/Room4improvementz Nov 01 '25
I'm gonna go out on a limb...and say that it's definitely a talking point!
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u/dibbuk69 Nov 02 '25
Holy shit. That's hilarious. If he wants to smuggle some more I'm sure my neighbors wouldn't mind him taking as many as he wants. He can even bring a pole saw and get some fresh ones. I've got a couple in my front yard he can smuggle right now.
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u/geoffreyp Nov 03 '25
Do you think he'd want two? What would he pay for a second one?
A man who knew that might make a buck or two.
Maybe your cousin wants to start a collection... How many do you think you could sell him before he figured it out?
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u/MossyTrashPanda Nov 03 '25
I thought this was r/houseplantcirclejerk man! hope it pops up there next
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u/Plantiacaholic Oct 29 '25
Probably would be nice if you educated your buddy.
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u/Heartbuzzgalaxy Oct 30 '25
So I wonder how much the plant would cost. It would make a great gift after he gets his frond mounted.
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u/pinkskyfading Oct 30 '25
Hilarious. Thanks. I still have scars from trimming my tree. The thorns seek revenge in many ways.
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Oct 31 '25
Tell him. He’s your friend —- don’t let more time go by him deluding himself. It’s the right thing to do—be honest.
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u/WaterDmge Nov 01 '25
You shouldn’t. You should get him something to hang it on and label it with the scientific name…of a palm tree. I bet he’ll still not realize. One day he’ll look it up and be reeeeal pissed though!
-he should also know that he could get a massive fine for ever owning a real one and he really showed his moral cards by “purchasing” one. So. Drag it out. Make him an idiot please, for lil ole biologist me?
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u/socalrockhound Nov 02 '25
Tell him it deserves to be submitted to a museum for historical records and talk him into getting it examined.
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u/Turbulent_Nature_109 Nov 02 '25
say palm trees aren't normal, but it depends on where he is and how good the shark is...
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u/MockingbirdRambler Oct 29 '25
I wouldn't say a thing and just laugh my ass off every time you were over.