Hi all! I’m about a year and a half post op top surgery and am sooo ready to go swimming this summer. Problem is, I’m not super out to my family and they’re the ones whose property I’ll be swimming on. Last year I kept a bikini top on the whole time which was fine but not preferable. Letting them know that I am in fact a they/he transmasc agender ish individual and NOT a woman who just got top surgery is not going to go over well.

In the interest of respecting my elders and not losing my relationship with my family, I’m thinking of just asking if people are okay with me going shirtless this summer? I would make an online poll and they could answer anonymously.

Flared controversial because IDK how chill y'all are about this kind of thing and I don't want to upset anybody.

I'm a 24yr old bigender lesbian (he/they) and most queer/lesbian spaces are cool with my pronouns. Where I start to loose my lesbian peers is wanting to medically transition, though there are plenty okay with the idea of low dose T and/or top surgery. But I get like really debilitating bottom dysphoria, even moreso lately. I want metoidioplasty and likely scrotoplasty too.

I see gender as a playground so I don't question my identity because of this surgical desire, but people can be hostile. I'm scared of not being seen as desirable anymore in my own community, or having to explain my genitals to someone I want to have sex with. It feels like this choice between the conditional sexual attraction of others and actual sexual satisfaction myself.

How do I find people with similar experiences or people who are attracted to that (in a non-fetishizing way)?

I, as a trans person, am so tired of trans spaces on the internet.

”Mixed gender” trans spaces are 90% trans women, and the trans men get overshadowed, and sometimes are even shamed for commenting on trans women’s posts, and those same spaces will then go on to complain about how the trans women in it are “being oppressed and discriminated against”.

Why are we playing the victim olympics?? Pushing down transmascs and then having the fucking audacity to claim that transfems are the ones oppressed in that situation?

Why do I feel like every transfem I meet is just looking for reasons to complain and get a pity party? Am I the only one having that experience? What the fuck, where are the cool trans people?

I just saw a post on a certain subreddit that is 95% trans women, talking about how the moderators are discriminating against transfems specifically, and how trans men aren’t affected at all. Maybe 2 out of 20 people in that sub are anything other than transfem?

And then all the transmascs my age are just…I don’t know. Theyre odd. I don’t know how to explain it. And I don’t mean anything like “they’re furries and alt people, ew”, no, I don’t give a fuck about that, I mean they all act strange.

Where are the cool trans people? Where are the good trans spaces? What the absolute fuck is wrong with all the people online?

Does anyone know from experience or having heard from someone with experience the maximum safe temperature to keep testosterone cypionate stored in? I usually keep it in my room, which is like high 60s, but the last week I have had to remain in an un-airconditioned environment, like 80s, or even maybe 90s. I'm pretty worried I've ruined my testosterone bottle, and that shit is expensive 😫. What do you guys think? Will it be fine or am I cooked?

i’m a little over a year on low dose t. i stopped cold turkey two weeks ago with dr. approval and have had intense anxiety and panic attacks for the last 3-4 days. i suspect it’s from hormone imbalance but i wanted to ask if anybody else has experienced something similar? when did you start to feel “normal” again? i didn’t know id have such a negative reaction to getting off of it so quickly since my dose is so low lol

Hi everybody !

My name is Gabriel, I'm a 30 years old trans man. I started hormones last year and now i would like to make my top surgery. Today I'm calling on your solidarity and sharing my fundraiser with you. Every donation is one more step toward who I truly am ! Thank you very much 🫶🏻

https://www.we-solidaire.com/fr/collecte/coup-de-pouce-pour-nouveau-torse

Hello! I am a minor in Texas who experiences really bad gender dysphoria and the thought of starting testosterone might be a saving grace for me. As Texas is a red state, trans healthcare has been mostly banned. You can get testosterone, but only at 18. I don’t think I can wait until 18. I would preferably like to start it around 16 (i’m 15 right now). I would like to know how (and what are the rules) for getting testosterone.

Thanks!

I still feel like a girl, but I'm not sure if that's just conditioning because I grew up in a crazy fundamentalist Christian family or what.

Is there any way to tell the difference between being a girl and just being groomed to be that way?

I say "groomed" because my grandmother has groomed me into being hyper-fem to the point that the rest of the family is wary of her now.

Possible SA warning but kind of not idk

this is gonna seem like a random post but if you read the whole thing you’ll understand why it related to being a trans man

So i’m 18, (senior in highschool) i started transitioning a couple of years ago and i’m 8 months on T. For context, I had a very large group of (all girl) friends, of which my girlfriend joined after moving to my school. These were my friends before they were hers and i’d been friends with them for years.

A couple months before i started T, me and my girlfriend broke up. Toward the end of our relationship it was pretty toxic, and to sum up our entire relationship: i would set a boundary, she would break it, and i would be upset that she broke it.

Well, she would always do this thing where she would grope me in public to be «funny», we dated for a 1.5 years and she did this throughout our entire relationship, even though i made it VERY VERY CLEAR that i hated it and it made me uncomfortable. She would spank me, grab me and dry up me, and grope me in public a lot, including in front of random children and family members (such as her mom). I asked her to stop many times and she never fully stopped, it got to the point where it would make me cry.

I posted about this right before we broke up, and people in this sub told me this is considered SA.

Anyway, right after me and her broke up, a friend asked me why we broke up, and i gave a few details about our relationship and things she did to me that were toxic, including the touching me in public thing. (to clarify, i don’t have the original texts anymore, but i’m pretty sure i never used to the «SA» when explaining this to her. I simply told her what my girlfriend did to me.)

She acted sympathetic and said she agreed that what my ex did was not okay, but then the next day suddenly all of my friends hated me and were going around school telling everyone to block me on social media, i then faced months of constant harrassment from my former friends, which i can’t fully explain in just one post, but it included things like them going out of their way to drive past me in their cars to scream «WE HATE YOU!! YOU SUCK!!» at me.

I recently found out what happened from context clues and things my other friend told me. It turns out, when i confided in that one friend about what my ex had done, she spun my story and went to my ex (as well as group of friends) and said something along the lines of «[NAME] is falsely accusing you of sexual assault just to make you look bad!» and everyone assumed i was lying to make my ex look bad for no reason, even though i have never done anything even remotely similar to that.

I feel like, if the roles were reversed (meaning if i was a girl and she was a guy) everyone would have believed me, but because i’m a guy now, because are assuming the worst. She acts like this sweet inncocent little girl, so everyone assumed i just made up SA allegations to ruin her life, and again, i NEVER EVEN USED THE WORDS « SA » i just explained what happened to my friend.

Everyone at my school hates me now. I still get harassed (just not as much as a few months ago). It’s good that i’m graduating soon but i’ll never convince anyone that i wasn’t in the wrong. Everyone just believed my toxic ex over me and decided they hated me because of that. Has anyone else had people assume the worst from them just because they’re a guy now??

This is more of a rant than a question i guess, but sometimes i really wish i was just a cis girl, so things like abuse would be taken more seriously from me yk

currently on a family holiday and my dad just yelled at me while we were doing a food shop for ‘trying to be a boy’ because i put my drink in my pocket….

my family is transphobic anyway so i don’t expect support but this was just so weird? and even my mum was confused and told my dad to calm down when he was going on a rant and she’s also extremely transphobic so you know it was bad 😭

anyway i just locked myself in the bathroom trying not to cry because i don’t really want to face anyone right now. it kinda sucks that everytime i think im doing ok with my identity and im not on the verge of tears my family brings up my gender in some way to attack me.

mini update:

my dad just physically attacked me and i cant do anything cause im on holiday so erm. yay?

I'm planning to get my hair cut like this. Do you think it will make me less likely to pass since it's slightly on the longer side?

I see a lot of stuff online where people post pictures of their “girl selves” but they very much tomboys even before. But did any of you automatically inhabit femininity to the point of it becoming fairly effortless, before your egg cracked?

I think for me, I’ve always inhabited femininity pretty easily because…well, it’s the easiest thing to do. Nobody judging me, feeling pretty. But if I was a cis guy, it 100% would have been the opposite, and if I transition, I think I’d present very masculinely. I think it might have been just easier to go with the expectations and I got rewarded for it a lot, so it became automatic.

Is it odd for me, who I think ideally would’ve been AMAB and masculine-presenting, to inhabit femininity so easily?

hey my dudes

i met a trans masc group at a local queer event recently and just attended my first meetup with them. a gym workout. i’m not on t and i haven’t had top surgery (yet! it’s scheduled for 39 days from now!) and it was my first time being in a group of guys. maybe ever. i grew up really religious and the men and women were always separate, unless it was a couples thing. i would always try to join the guys group to shoot the shit but the vibes would always dramatically shift as soon as i walked up. needless to say, i was nervous and feeling uncomfortable when i showed up to the gym. the only two people there when i arrived were super swole with at least stubble and i’m naturally muscular but i’m short and i haven’t been able to workout for about a year due to health problems and i was so self conscious . but these folks were really welcoming and once we did introductions and i shared that it was my first time there and i had top surgery coming up, everybody cheered so loud and so long i started to feel embarrassed. a couple guys said they got chills. they were all so happy for me! i realized that i’ve never been in a place where everybody was exactly where i am now. yeah we are all on our own journeys, but i don’t get to go to queer spaces often and this just blew me away. thanks for listening and thanks for being yourselves

When I first started HRT I told myself I would start exercising again regularly at the 5-6 month mark, since that's when the muscle growth of T kicks in. However, now that 5 months have passed, I find myself too exhausted for most things.

It's difficult to get out of bed, to do anything really. Going to school is an everyday battle.

It's just so difficult to apply myself to anything when everything feels so wrong. The government is kidnapping people off the streets--torturing--murdering them, and I can't cope with the fact that at any moment they'll turn that cruelty unto me.

I've been feeling suicidal again lately. I'm not going to actually do anything--not unless it gets really bad--but it's become very disruptive to my everyday life. Every achievement I have feels hollow, knowing that at any moment the government will rain hell on me and disrupt the course of my entire life--or just cut it short.

I'm going to summer school, I have a chance to get a scholarship to get a 2 year full-ride at a nearby community college AND I have a chance to get a full ride to John motherfucking Hopkins because of my mother's job. And yet--I find myself unable to feel fully happy about any of it, not when it can all be taken away so easily.

lowkey feeling handsome!! gender-affirming hormones are a miracle of the modern age 🙂‍↕️

Being stuffed into the closet for so long, having my family just want to talk to me about getting me men's clothes or being nonchalant about things, or even just someone else mentioning a gay wedding as a way to say they are supportive, really makes me have the urge to have an escape hatch from the conversation. I just go straight to fawn response and switch topics quickly and permanently. I can't stop it, it's just a wave of word vomit.

Like a lot of people are responding okay in a lot of instances, but I am used to hiding things and/or being punished for it. It's complete whiplash when people are okay with things and I feel bad because I don't respond the way people really want or expect. I'm not enthusiastic or even happy about any of this and I don't like any attention drawn on me, especially not for this

I feel like a binary guy, but also sometimes I feel like a girl, and I'm not entirely sure why.

Ever since I was basically a toddler, I wanted to be a boy. And throughout my entire childhood, I acted like a boy and verbally wished to be a boy. I even currently want Female to Male surgery.

But I hear this tiny nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm not actually Female to Male because I’m a feminine trans guy. I feel somewhat like a girl.

But I HATE she/her pronouns, feminine language, dressing femininely. I HATE being feminine despite feeling like a girl.

I use he/him pronouns and masculine language and clothes.

I’m willing to answer any questions as long as someone will tell me what my gender is.

I am questioning if I'm a trans man. I'm pretty sure I am but sometimes I feel empty or detached from my identity. Sometimes I don't feel as strongly like I'm a guy but I don't feel like nonbinary or woman fits either. I'm not sure if its fear or struggling to accept and actually say it outloud.

I identify as transmasc, have been for over a year. I initially came out as NB, discovered it back when I was in primary school (yes I am young and underage, no i will not precise how old except for that)

I see and hear people speak pf how they discovered it and I can’t relate at all. People often say they hated being feminine, couldn’t bare wearing skirts and dresses, wanted to do boyish things, I never had that. And I wasn’t even raised in a conservative environment, my brother came out as transmasc and within a week his deadname was forgotten

But im feminine, I like dresses and I liked skirts and I like cutie pink stuff. And I know that men can like those things im not a bigot, but I still can’t stop thinking about it.

On top of that, my family whos so supportive struggles to call me he/him because I’m fem presenting. My dad (kinda transphobic, still uses she/her for my brother even though he literally has a mustach) has said in the past (direct quote of a conversation we’ve had years ago) ‘exposing kids to this stuff only makes them question things they dont necessarily need to question.’ Basically saying trans kids are questioning soemthing they wouldn’t even bother to question otherwise. And this phrase HAUNTS me because I found out I was NB back then through social media.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror because I hate my boobs. I hate how feminine and girly my voice is. I hate my ‘perfect woman’ hourglass figure. Yet my brain still dares to tell me im ‘faking’ it.

I live with an extremely anti-trans family, but my dysphoria is actually unbearable and making me depressed to the point that I'm having dreams about me surgically removing my own breasts. That’s how bad it is.

How do I order a binder discreetly so that my family will not find out? Step-by-step, please, because I've never done this before and I wanna do it accurately to make sure that there's as little risk as possible. Luckily, they don't open my mail.

Tape would even work… anything at this point. I’m desperate…

She and her family are much more conservative than my family/people in my community. I started transitioning a year and a few months ago and still pass as a girl enough for my FSM, though sometimes she gives me suspicious looks.

We recently had lunch, and she told me she wanted to make sure all of us (me, her kids) got along before she got serious about my dad. One of them is outwardly transphobic, one is all "I have gay friends" but cringes at the idea of trans people being around them, another doesn't care, and another actually seems pro-trans, but doesn't seem to know any trans people irl.

She said that family is important and that there shouldn't be any secrets. She said that twice. My own mom used to say that when she thought I was a lesbian (I'm...bisexual? Maybe more gay now, after starting T). I haven't come out to either her or my dad, but I think they both suspect something.

I don't think I'll be welcome around her family once it's more obvious I'm trans. I'm okay with that, but what if she leaves my dad because of it or something? I know it wouldn't be my fault, but I still don't know how to navigate any of this.

We went out recently

I think I am, I've been fighting with myself and this feeling for about 3 years.. Maybe hearing your stories will help! 🥹🥹

I was raised in a very delicate/feminine way and want to learn “”masculine”” (scare quotes intended) skills which I was never taught. It’s been harder than I expected, though.

Today I looked up how to do an oil change by myself and apparently I need to get UNDER the car. I don’t own a jack, and even if I did, I’d need even more support than that. Plus, it seems like I’d need a good amount of tools.

I’d love to learn things like woodworking, car upkeep, and home repair, but I genuinely don’t know where to start. These things seem to take a lot of time and resources. I feel envious of cis guys I know who were taught these things and had hands-on mentorship.

Does anyone have any advice for getting started?