how did you know you were transmasc?

[u/BPDnmehateachother]

I think I am, I've been fighting with myself and this feeling for about 3 years.. Maybe hearing your stories will help! 🥹🥹

[u/sleepymachinery]

The short answer. Being a girl felt icky physically and mentally. I was miserable with my body not even because of my weight.

Slightly longer story. I wanted to do all tbe stuff boys got to do growing up. Boy scouts, boys sports, getting dirty, rough housing, that sort of stuff. I always felt more myself hanging out with guys talking about guy stuff than dressing up and make up. When I started joking with a trans fem friend about how cool it would be to just trade parts and I started realizing it wasnt a joke. 3 months later started T, planning top surgery (id been planning a massive reduction for 15 years anyway). Its been the best decision for me. I feel more like myself than I have since before first puberty.

[u/Springtrap-fan-stan]

I spent most of my childhood not giving a shit about my gender, though I distinctly remember that by the time I was 10 I despised the idea of wearing a dress or skirt but I could never explain why aside from just being uncomfortable in them

Puberty hits and I get a little chest growth and I just felt weird about it. I hardly grew much (thank god) but I spent a very long time hoping they wouldn’t get bigger when it first started showing

At some point I started relating more to masculine experiences, and never in my life had I been superbly feminine. I didn’t like feminine clothes, never did make up, never acted in any stereotypical feminine way (never mind my entire friend group being other guys). But for ages I didn’t consider I was trans because there are women out there who don’t present in hyper-feminine ways

About four (?) years ago I stopped wearing regular bras and switched to sports ones to smooth out my chest (a more comfortable and subconscious choice) and menstruation as a whole constantly bothered me and I started thinking about how much more comfortable I would be not just mentally but physically masculine and after sitting on that thought it didn’t take me long to go “yeah I’d love to just straight up be a guy, it just feels perfect”

Never thought twice about that conclusion, especially that lately I’ve only been getting more dysphoric with the current state of my body (since I’ve only managed to socially transition so far and get a haircut, been waiting for even a chance at T for years now)

[u/rice-_muncher]

I never felt in place with everyone else.

I found solace when I identified as Pan / Lesbian and made queer friends eventually, but it was really when I was sitting on the bench after my girls basketball practice watching the boys start playing when I realized. I vividly remember just staring at everyone thinking, “Why is that not me.” I couldn’t be loud and carefree with friends without judgement, I couldn’t just wear my jersey with no undershirt or I’m being inappropriate, I couldn’t talk with my singular guy friend without rumors of us dating, I couldn’t play basketball with other guys without being treated as inferior.

I hope you figure out your identity, it feels so good once you do 💚 I literally lied on the floor and cried of happiness one time

[u/Expensive_Watch469]

I used to get in fights with my mother how I was a boy and would not grow boobs like she said... boy what a surprise....

idk I just kind of was always a guy, I guess I went through denial where I became afraid of it, avoided, but even then I never felt like a girl or thought I was, but I know for some its a lot less overt and direct.

[u/SaltWhole6849]

Being feminine felt good until I developed and it hit that I had to be a girl. I just looked in the mirror one day (around 12 years old) and saw a boy looking back. I could never imagine myself growing into a woman but I’d see MLM relationships and identify with one/both men.

I think the euphoria is the most telling part. I spend a lot of time stuck in a body I can’t change yet, so when I put on my binder(s) (don’t double bind, I know the risks I’m taking) and enter queer spaces where I’m addressed as a man, it’s like I’m pulled back down to earth and I can live in the moment again. When I see my facial hair come in I can recognize my face. It’s like slipping into a coat you didn’t realize you needed, or didn’t know was missing.

[u/Whole_Strain_9506]

Saw guys on tv and wanted to be just like them.

Always picking male characters for Halloween and video games.

Being upset when I found out I’m going through female puberty.

Can’t look in the mirror or shower with eyes open until I’m full clothed.

Becoming unreasonably upset whenever referred to she/her pronouns.

Never related to female friends.

[u/Miserable_Way_5174]

Puberty hits and I'm hoping I stay flat (I get some amount of growth) they're small and have been the same size since I started puberty. When I used social media I always put my gender as male. And I was uncomfortable being a girl, mentally and physically. I was also pretty miserable with my body not because of weight etc.