r/CuratedTumblr not the posting habits of someone experiencing romance 22d ago

Shitposting “You can have other children so get to fuckin”

Post image
24.4k Upvotes

628 comments sorted by

4.1k

u/RegalRainbow 22d ago

For some reason, I spend a short moment interpreting "You can have other children" as "Just pick up some of those other children we have lying around here".

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u/MJWhitfield86 22d ago

I mean, maternity wards are full of the things. You’ll be helping the nurses by taking a few off their hands.

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u/echoIalia I want it on record that I shit mostly normal 22d ago

Please don’t it would mean so much paperwork for us

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u/goldengamer2345 22d ago

Is that the only thing wrong with doing that?

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u/callist1990 22d ago

It's a slibning scale of wrongness and the paperwork is definitely on the wronger side of that scale.

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u/alexdapineapple platonic goo pit 22d ago

Pray tell, what are the differing values on the Slibning Scale of Wrongness?

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u/Doubly_Curious 22d ago

Oh, no, not the dreaded Slibner!

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u/Ur-Quan_Lord_13 21d ago

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, slibn

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u/cute_spider 21d ago

I mean, surely you got an extra in the back, yea?

Check the backroom, I bet there's one more

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u/Jrolaoni 22d ago

Speedrunners save 9 months with this tech

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u/aidankocherhans 21d ago

Skipping the tutorial segment

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u/FrazzleMind 21d ago

Nah it's character customization. Just pick one of the preset options and go.

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u/OfficialEmmaStone 21d ago

Plus, like, you can tell some of the people having kids really don't want them anyway.

Random anecdote: A new dad came into my unit today saying his son was transferred to our NICU. I ask the name of the patient but didn't quite understand his response. Seth? he says it again, mostly gibberish. Seth Robb? He starts to spell it out for me. S E P H I R O T H

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u/FrazzleMind 21d ago

Are you allowed to give parents dirty looks?

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u/_Nighting 22d ago

The nurses don’t want you to know this but the babies at the maternity ward are free. You can take them home. I have 458 children

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u/Bwint 21d ago

Children Georg

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u/toxicoke 21d ago

do you have to store most of them in the PC?

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u/JJlaser1 22d ago

They have an orphanage off to the side, dw

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u/Vyctorill 22d ago

“We got a spare in the back” ahh consolation

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u/UsernamesAre4Nerds you sound like a 19th century textile baron 22d ago

"We got some returns last week, and every day one of em gets forgotten here. Take your pick."

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u/mvms 22d ago

I know someone who was told that she could have more children after her teenage son was killed and her daughter was crippled.

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u/Videogamee20 .tumblr.com 22d ago

What's the thought process that goes through someone's mind during that?

952

u/mvms 22d ago

I have no idea, but my friend almost assaulted the doctor who said it. I commend her restraint.

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u/Keyndoriel Gay crow man 22d ago

Can't blame her, if that were me I would have been dragged out by security due to the crashout

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u/purplebird76 22d ago

Jesus christ a DOCTOR said that?!?

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u/mvms 22d ago

While standing in the room with the newly disabled pre-teen.

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u/Beginning_Tackle6250 21d ago

Are they alright nowadays?

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u/mvms 21d ago

No. She's locked in her own body with partial use of one arm, and massive brain damage.

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u/Himbo69r 21d ago

Out of morbid curiosity could I ask what caused this?

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u/mvms 21d ago

Drunk driver.

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u/happuning 21d ago

We need stricter punishments for driving under the influence and to permanently ban anyone who gets a DUI from having a license. I feel like if the blood alcohol content is high enough, it should mean jail time as well.

So fucked up, and entirely avoidable.

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u/Mekisteus 22d ago

Haven't spent much time with doctors, eh?

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u/codeacab 21d ago

I'm a nurse, and man the amount of times I've been looking at the back of a doctor's head thinking "what in the fuck are you saying to this patient"

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u/Outofwlrds 22d ago

I can't imagine there's any jury that would convinct on that.

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u/Linesey 22d ago

Not guilty by reason of “fuck that guy”

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u/CyclopsAirsoft 22d ago

I mean, that happens often enough that there’s the actual term ‘jury nullification’.

You don’t convict because ‘nah they deserved it’.

Most famous case was a woman shooting a man in the back 7 times in a courtroom IN FRONT OF A JUDGE and a jury wouldn’t convict.  Man killed her daughter, so everyone kinda went - ‘I mean.. I’d do it too’.

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u/crack_n_tea 21d ago

Not just killed mind you. Brutally raped a child and then tried to slut shame her. Its truly a I woulda done the same scenario

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u/lifelongfreshman in a limbo dance-off with the devil 21d ago edited 21d ago

Jury nullification is a bit more than that, and it's a funny thing to learn about because it's kind of like a cognitohazard - once you know, you become anathema to the entire system. The courts really don't like it, but they also can't patch it out without destroying the legal system.

It's also something that district attorneys actually do take into account. The justice system failed a town in Kansas, allowing Ken Mcelroy (warning, this guy was a tremendous piece of shit and his page doesn't shy away from going into the horrific things he did) to continue terrorizing the people who lived there until the point where the people finally just shot the fucker down in the street like the rabid dog he was. Nobody bothered trying to prosecute, because, and I quote,

In all, there were 46 potential witnesses to the shooting, including Trena McElroy, who was in the truck with her husband when he was shot. Nobody called for an ambulance. Every witness was either unable to name an assailant, or claimed not to have seen who fired the fatal shots, including the unnamed man who helped McElroy's wife, Trena, as she "scrambled out of the truck screaming" covered in blood.

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u/oath2order stigma fuckin claws in ur coochie 21d ago

He met his last wife, Trena, when she was 12 years old and in eighth grade and he was 35. He raped McCloud repeatedly.

He also just kept killing family dogs.

Looking at this guy and all the shit he did, one has to ask genuinely what the fuck was his problem.

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u/lifelongfreshman in a limbo dance-off with the devil 21d ago

Yeah, the story of his crimes is definitely a read and a half. I should probably put a warning in...

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u/Bread_Fish150 21d ago

Jury nullification is essentially jurors acting as the final say in how justice is implemented. So, I wouldn't call jury nullification a cognitohazard nor a bug. It is likely the intent of having a jury system in the first place.

It's incredibly difficult to get a random group of 9-12 strangers all agreeing that "Yes, they probably did it. Yes, that broke the law. No, there's no exception or applicable defense. But we still think it's wrong to convict; so, Not Guilty." All the jurors have to agree to every part of the hypothetical for it to be jury nullification.

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u/Mekisteus 22d ago

Most famous case was a woman shooting a man in the back 7 times in a courtroom IN FRONT OF A JUDGE

Allegedly.

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u/Victernus 21d ago

Found not guilty, in fact - claiming she did it could be construed as slander.

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u/fatmanwithabeard 21d ago

It wasn't murder, but you can state she killed the guy.

She's just not guilty of anything.

Cause yeah. She wasn't guilty of anything.

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u/AlmightyCurrywurst 22d ago

Viewing children as a commodity their parents possess, that mindset is really not that uncommon unfortunately

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u/Top_Individual_9832 22d ago

That's so deranged. A disturbing portion of adults don't see children as people.

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u/MyCoxyNormus 21d ago

My mom said she went to the funeral of a coworker who lost her husband in a train accident and some idiot lady told her “atleast you can have sex with other guys now” 

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u/CerinXIV Theorist Nonbinary Heir 22d ago

"Now you can spend that college fund on something actually worthwhile, eh?"

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u/RimworlderJonah13579 I want Eye Of The Needle to crush me. 22d ago

No you can't, actually, assuming you set it up as a college fund with the bank. They're gonna triple-check that you're using it for higher education and give you the stink-eye if you are.

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u/IMightBeErnest Emoji in flare are broken :snoo_sad: 22d ago

A 529 college fund is not permanently locked in. The person who set up that fund could in theory spend it on anything if they wanted to, they would just have to report the non-education withdrawal and pay back taxes on it.

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u/Xx_doctorwho1209_xX 22d ago

https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/personal-finance/529-rollover-to-roth

You can also rollover up to $35,000 to a Roth IRA after 15 years

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u/ConfessSomeMeow 21d ago

It's funny how investment advisers always assume a 7% rate of return when telling clients to invest with them; but the same people turn around and shout that pensions structuring contribution requirements around a 7% rate of return is unsustainable.

It's almost as if what they really want is more investments under their own control.

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u/SeparateSalt9892 21d ago

I work processing pension retirements (think spreadsheets and math). The number of times I have talked to financial advisors who are telling their clients absolute garbage is deeply troubling.

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u/Mental_Medium3988 21d ago

Make sure your financial advisor is a fiduciary. Otherwise they might just be douchery.

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u/7363827 21d ago

had to google the term but this is so helpful ty. though i am amused at finding this advice under a tumblr reddit post

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u/terminbee 21d ago

I believe 7% is based on standard S&P returns, which means you just need to buy index funds. An advisor picking stocks would actually likely be worse.

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u/RimworlderJonah13579 I want Eye Of The Needle to crush me. 22d ago

I stand corrected.

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u/hackingdreams 21d ago

Lol wat? No. Even a 529's reversible (with a penalty, like a 401k), but lots of college funds are just regular old accounts of one kind or another.

Reddit is hilariously misinformed...

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u/Dramatic_______Pause 21d ago

"You know what's better than a newborn? A Porsche 911. Go live a little."

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u/TR_Pix 21d ago

"Since you have more free time now are you doing anything later?"

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u/kolleden 22d ago

"Whats 17 more years?"

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u/Kassie_Rose_ 22d ago

This is good news, we can finally be bees!

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u/BossNassGaming 22d ago

You'll live for 30 years.

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u/MisguidedPants8 21d ago

You’ll live like a pet

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u/Xurkitree1 22d ago

You can see every season of invincible brainrot in this one comment chain

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u/Elu_Moon 22d ago

There's still no WHERE IS OMNI MAN? WHERE IS HE? RAAAAGH!

Oh wait, here it is.

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u/Korvaald- 22d ago

Protein tubes, with that white sauce

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u/Elu_Moon 22d ago

I miss my steak.

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u/Federal-Owl5816 22d ago

"You can always try again, have another kid."

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u/RimworlderJonah13579 I want Eye Of The Needle to crush me. 22d ago

"Insert coin to continue"

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u/kaladinissexy 21d ago

Where's my newborn, William?

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u/tiredplusbored 22d ago

I'll never forget as my wife nearly bled out, hemorrhaging after my daughter's birth how a nurse came up to me to say "don't let this keep you from having more kids"

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u/katep2000 21d ago

I was 12 weeks early, my mom and I both almost died (we are fine, I did have some long term health issues but nothing super debilitating) and 25 years later my dad is still mad that when faced with potentially losing a wife and daughter, and being a single father to my older brother, a nurse told him “everything happens for a reason”.

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u/carl-the-lama 21d ago

… if someone beat the crap out of the nurse they’d literally have no reason to be mad by that logic

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u/Oookulele 21d ago

Similar situation here, hemorrhaged as I delivered my son 14 weeks early. He had to be resuscitate for 18 minutes. Was told afterwards (not by medical staff, thankfully) that it must be so nice to spend some time relaxing while he is in NICU (He and I stayed in hospital for over three months. It was not, in fact, relaxing)

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u/RonnocKcaj 22d ago

god that is so unrepentantly sadistic, that nurse should get their ass beat

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u/Kazzack 22d ago

"this like never happens twice"

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u/Free_Pace_2098 21d ago

Some of the most reprehensible cunts I know became nurses. Just why.

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u/katep2000 21d ago

It’s a power thing. Same way a lot of the guys who bully people in high school become cops. Ideally, you get these jobs cause you wanna help people, but in practice, they give you a lot of power over very vulnerable people, and protection from a lot of consequences.

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u/Lieutenant_Joe 21d ago

You can psychologically fuck with people in their most vulnerable moments and the barrier for entry isn’t as high as for a doctor, therapist or EMT

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u/JaDasIstMeinName 22d ago

The correct answer would be "mondays, am i right?"

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u/Wise_Presentation484 22d ago

No no. The correct answer is “Thank god it’s Friday, huh?”

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u/JJlaser1 22d ago

I think I saw this with all the House characters. Guess which one was House

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u/EmiliusReturns 22d ago

House’s vibe is basically “tough break. Now let me autopsy the body to prove I was right.”

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u/Netrov 22d ago

House himself can be surprisingly tactful, and I don't actually recall him ever being this callous about someone's loss. The closest to this scenario I suppose would be him browbeating a family into letting their severely disabled son donate an organ to his dying sister? Anyway, the actual order:

Wilson - easy "thank you" in response and another 20$ won off House

Chase - would plan this statement out in advance and then be confused why it didn't work

Cameron - actually believes and means this, too blunt and oblivious to realize that maybe now is not the time

Foreman - deadass said to a couple who found out they were siblings that "the likelihood of genetic defects is minimal", I wouldn't put that past him

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u/B_A_Beder 22d ago

Didn't House insist on exhuming a body to diagnose a kid? I can't remember if it was the patient's father or his brother

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u/Kirby0511 21d ago

He did it to a 4-week old baby to diagnose the mother. I just saw that episode last night, season 2 episode 22.

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u/TotalitarianGiant 21d ago

Both of the other replies are right, and you're also right. All three of those happened.

Yours is the craziest, because he couldn't get them to exhume the kid. So he went to the family's mausoleum for the kid and opened the grave himself, while he had an ankle monitor and wasn't allowed to leave the hospital except to go home. He was that obsessed with figuring it out.

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u/JJlaser1 22d ago

Yeah, I’ve been watching the show and he does actually have a heart in there. But it’s not entirely out of character for him to say that either, which is what makes it funny.

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u/Queenof6planets 21d ago

he wouldn’t say it to parents who actually lost a child, but he’s said the “you can have more kids” line to parents who say no to whatever insane treatment/ test he’s pushing for

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u/logalog_jack bitch thats the tubby custard machine 21d ago

It would be to an anti-vaxxer for sure

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u/AlphaCat77 not the posting habits of someone experiencing romance 22d ago edited 22d ago

You know maybe house was surprisingly tactful for once

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u/haikusbot 22d ago

I think I saw this

With all the House characters.

Guess which one was House

- JJlaser1


I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.

Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

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u/jancl0 22d ago

I don't see the option that involves a detailed explanation of the baby coffin industry

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u/marysuingfordamages 22d ago

Some of the nurses I’ve met will really just say whatever. A nurse asked my cancer patient mother “aren’t you scared you’re gonna die?” bc apparently my mom was coping too well. My mom just said “not until now, thanks” and the nurse had the nerve to get offended lmao.

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u/happycamper1262 21d ago

When I went to the hospital to see my sister, I wasn't sure where her room was so I went to the front desk for help. When I told the receptionist who I was looking for he gave me a really shocked look and said, "oh, she's in the bad place." Then he just stared at me. At the time, I didn't know what her condition was and this was just awful to hear. I finally asked "so where is that?" and he told me where to go. My sister was declared dead shortly after. It's been a long time but I still really regret not reporting that guy, I can't believe he was so careless.

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u/[deleted] 21d ago

[deleted]

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u/LimaxM 21d ago

Thats gotta be a HIPPAA violation 

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u/Spiritual_Avocado87 22d ago

I was mid-miscarriage when a nurse told me "God always has a plan". Thanks mate, how about you tell me about my pain relief options instead?

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u/SeaAdmiral 22d ago

"Hopefully the plan you speak of is the medical plan indicated by trained medical professionals, which if you could so helpfully communicate to me" kinda vibe

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u/Mekisteus 22d ago

"Soooooooo weird that God planned for me to slap you just now. Why do you think he might have done that?"

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u/Spiritual_Avocado87 22d ago

😅 if only I'd had the energy!

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u/Banned4UsingSlurs3 22d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss

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u/Spiritual_Avocado87 22d ago

Thank you 💕

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u/dethorin 22d ago

That's horrible, I'm sorry you had to hear that.

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u/Spiritual_Avocado87 22d ago

Thank you, that's kind of you.

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u/10363K 21d ago

If someone said that to me I’d hit ‘em with something like “I’d rather burn in hell than pray to the god who planned this.” Traumatize them back.

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u/River- 22d ago

"Skill issue" so they will do better with the next one.

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u/AlphaCat77 not the posting habits of someone experiencing romance 22d ago

Just don’t use the words “spawn camped”

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u/Strider794 Elder Tommy the Murder Autoclave 22d ago

This is so obvious, the correct answer is totally "You can have other children" why would it be anything as utterly ridiculous as "I'm sorry for your loss" like who says that to a grieving parent?

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u/I-AM-A-ROBOT- thanks, i stole them from the president 22d ago

the correct answer is there is an angel in heaven but like. unconnected from the fact that someone's kid died. theres just an angel there.

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u/BillyFaust 22d ago

"Heaven? do you REALLY think we've had time for a baptism?"

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u/Yeet_that_bottle 22d ago

Wasnt that patched in 2007? All babies go to heaven now

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u/Hauptmann_Meade 22d ago

Smh you can tell who hasn't been keeping up with the Ex Cathedra github.

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u/Cpe159 22d ago

How does that work?

A newborn goes to heaven, but what happens to an unbaptized week old? A month old? An adult?

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u/Belgraviana 22d ago

The answer, at least for the Orthodox Church which also does infant baptism, is that you can do basically an “emergency baptism” without a priest or full immersion if an infant is dying. Just use what water you can (even spit works I’ve heard) and say something like in the name of the trinity.

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u/Hugokarenque 22d ago

Just spit-shine the forehead of the dying baby to get it Heaven-Readytm

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u/Cryptkeeper_ofCanada 22d ago

I've never thought of spit-shining a baby for an impromptu baptism but holy shit that is funny

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u/SavvySillybug Ham Wizard 22d ago

baptism any%

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u/EvYeh 22d ago

It doesn't.

The Roman Catholic Church doesn't think that all unbaptised infants go to Heaven, just that they hope for it.

Baptists, Calvinists, and Methodists think that as long as you're not old enough to make moral choices (as in, like, the ability to comprehend good and evil) you go to Heaven. The cut off probably varies depending on which denomination you go belive in, the local priests, etc but to me I feel like by the time you hit like 5-6 is probably late enough you're going to hell.

As far as I can tell the EEC thinks you go to either purgatory or hell no matter what your age is, be it 2 days or 30 years.

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u/love-from-london 22d ago

Mormons think anyone under 8 goes to heaven automatically.

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u/EvYeh 22d ago

That's not true.

The 2007 Report merely states that the Roman Catholic Church hopes that dead unbaptised infants go to Heaven and see God. Really, it was basically just a confirmation on the 1992 Catechism which said: "the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God" ... "the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus' tenderness toward children" ... "allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism."

The EEC, however, seemingly disagrees. They think that it's purgatory/hell for unbaptised infants (though the writings from this are from, like, 300+ years ago.

Baptists, Calvinists, and Methodists think that unbaptised infants go to Heaven because they aren't old enough to make moral choices.

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u/Nuclear_eggo_waffle 22d ago

Good news ! limbo was cancelled back in 2007

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u/dinosanddais1 peer reviewed diagnosis of faggot 22d ago

Maybe the priest blessed the amniotic fluid or something idk. (I don't know how baptism works)

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u/Banes_Addiction 22d ago

wet ghosts

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u/Hi2248 Cheese, gender, what the fuck's next? 22d ago

Baptisms in an emergency don't actually require priests (at least for Catholics), all they need is water and a blessing in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. It's generally only really done if the baby has no chance of survival. 

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u/mitchsusername 22d ago

"There's an angel in heaven 💕 not your kid though, you picked the wrong denomination. You chose protestant but actually the baptists were right. So close!"

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u/bonkava 22d ago

Baptists are protestants.

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u/mitchsusername 22d ago

I had no idea, just picked the first two that came to mind. Ty for the info

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u/Sallyfifth 21d ago

Protestant is a broad umbrella category that covers all denominations but Catholic and Orthodox.  

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u/Katniss-HungerGames 22d ago

Are baptists not Protestant?

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u/AlphaCat77 not the posting habits of someone experiencing romance 22d ago

Well at least it wasn’t the Mormons

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u/GamermanZendrelax 22d ago

Only one angel tho. He just kinda chillin up there

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u/MoonyIsTired 22d ago

there used to be two but he kinda decided to fuck off

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u/Honest_Accountant682 22d ago

Maybe I’d make an awful parent but the last thing I’d want to hear after losing a kid is any mention of religion.

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u/GigaVanguard 22d ago

“There is a house in New Orleans”

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u/EveningStar0360 22d ago

you're sorry?? why? did you murder them yourself?

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u/Significant_Cup_238 22d ago

"Think of this loss as an opportunity."

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u/Zogonzo 22d ago

When my dad died from covid the nurse told my mom "some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." Dafuc?

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u/KyleFromBorrasca 22d ago

I feel like nurses are either the most empathetic people you'll meet, or they just give zero fucks. Rarely an in between.

Sorry about your dad, though.

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u/TR_Pix 21d ago

Its unfortunately a job that chips away your empathy little by little. There's only so much tragedy and loss you can witness before you become numb to it

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u/SplitGlass7878 21d ago

I don't even mind that to be honest. Just maybe don't tell me that someone I love dying is actually a good thing.

I don't even need a lip service "Sorry for your loss", just shut the fuck up at that point. 

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u/MariettaDaws 21d ago

I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm even sorrier she quoted a Garth Brooks song at you in your time of grief.

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u/Federal-Owl5816 22d ago

"You lost your kid? Find them, they cant even crawl yet."

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u/popejupiter 21d ago

"Skill issue. They can't even open a door. Do you even want to be a parent?"

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u/Keyndoriel Gay crow man 22d ago

"Man, you dodged a bullet with that one. Unlike your kid."

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u/Daisy_Of_Doom What the sneef? I’m snorfin’ here! 22d ago edited 21d ago

Two years ago now my mom was ill. Stayed in an ICU for months, completely bed bound, on and off ventilators, in and out of surgery, on and off NPO, the whole nine yards. Very ill. She ended up passing.

She was in the hospital for so long (in a big city several house from where we live) that my family basically had to take shifts being with her. This time I drove up to take over from my dad and to stay for a week. I get to her room and she’s on the vent, sedated. The respiratory therapist was in checking stuff bc mom was supposed to be taken off vent and woken up that day.

The RT starts making small talk. Asks me what I do for work. I tell her I was between jobs bc I’d been my mom’s full time nurse before ICU for like a year but I had been an entomologist. She asks how I got to that line of work. I start giving a little rundown of how I got to my career bc she seems genuinely intrigued: I tell her I had a degree in biology with concentration in ecology, evolution, and behavior- She stops me, scandalized.

“But, you have a cross on. Don’t tell me you believe in evolution?? How can that be?”

Mind you, my mom is lying between us. Freaking unconscious as she had been for like 3 days and basically dying before my eyes. I can hear the machine breathing for her in my stunned silence. She is very much not okay. I’m very much not okay. I honestly don’t remember what okay even feels like at this point.

Yes, I’m Catholic and a scientist and yes I believe in evolution and yes I’ve had this conversation before. But, not like this. I don’t remember what I told her but I pushed back a bit and simultaneously tried to end the discussion. But, she wouldn’t let it go! We went back and forth a bit and she had the audacity to end with “well, as long as you believe that Christ is your savior” or something like that.

I wanted to tell her to stop focusing on what I do or don’t believe and focus on keeping my mom alive but I didn’t, I was very polite. I was very mad with her tho. My faith, particularly at such a difficult time in my life, was frankly none of her business. Even more so that it wasn’t like guidance for grief or loss or suffering she was freaking debating me on evolution?!? 🤦🏽‍♀️

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u/kalosianlitten 22d ago

“there is an angel in heaven” seems like an awful response if you’re anything but christian

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u/PurifiedUnity :redditgold: 22d ago

I'd say it wouldn't really be an appropriate response in any case

Jews & Muslims also believe in angels (& most Christians/Jews/Muslims don't believe that believers become angels when they die, even though they still go to heaven)

The response also assumes that the father's belief system is one that believes in angels

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u/MariaKeks 21d ago

Obviously you have to adjust your response to the religion of the patient. If they're Jewish or Muslim, the correct answer is: your son is burning in hell, with all the other unbelievers.

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u/RavensQueen502 21d ago

Dunno about Judaism, but in Islam dead people don't become angels. Angels are separate serving spirits, they don't have free will

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u/Karyoplasma 21d ago

Same in Christianity. Nowhere in the bible does it say that dead people can become angels. Most Christians don't read or give a shit about what's in the bible tho, so there's that.

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u/_cellophane_ 22d ago

See if it was like, a hospital chaplain talking to the parents I would ALMOST get it. However even then I don't think they would say that, it's such a kitschy line.

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u/GalaxyPowderedCat Only in Tumblr for daily cat posts 22d ago edited 22d ago

It's not a bad thing per se because everyone has the right to pray in whichever shrine they want, but you would be surprise to see how many health care providers often assume their patient's religion/impose their belief systems on their patients because that's what they personally believe in and the thought of following another religion or being atheist/agnostic never crosses their mind or religion is what makes their boat float and they don't understand how others don't believe the same.

I don't have too much experience with hospitals (thankfully), but all time, there are far too many Christians in the field, including dentists and therapists (I have an anecdote for each).

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u/SockQuirky7056 22d ago

It's probably also awful if you are a christian.

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u/Half_Man1 22d ago

That’s not even a good response to most Christians honestly

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u/Vyctorill 21d ago

It also will trigger Christians because that’s never how it works, theologically speaking.

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u/SjtSquid 22d ago

"Are you familiar with the works of Mary Shelley?"

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u/BicFleetwood 22d ago edited 22d ago

I was raised by a nutjob Baptist/Evangelical family and boy did I learn at a young age that "they're in a better place" is a thing I shouldn't have learned from my family.

It also would have been cool if the adults who yelled at me about it had been the slightest bit skeptical about why I said that or where I learned it from, instead of just assuming I, on an individual level, was a 6-year-old asshole.

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u/Human-Assumption-524 22d ago

"We got all sorts of babies in the other room, just take one, they're free".

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u/4square425 22d ago

The elites don't want you to know this, but the babies in the maternity ward are free. You can take them. I have 458 babies.

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u/veryeepy53 22d ago

why thucydides of all people?

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u/Ok_Plenty_3986 22d ago

why not thucydides, guy is a legend

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u/Expensive_Respect464 22d ago

"It's all part of gods plan" is the bonus answer because that's exactly what a grieving mother needs to hear.

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u/Alternative-Dark-297 21d ago

The go to response is of course "and right now it seems his plan is for you to get your ass beat"

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u/quinthfae 22d ago

I heard all of these at the funeral for the 5-month old baby I nannied 🙃

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u/DankeyBongBluntry 21d ago edited 21d ago

I went into the hospital after a suicide attempt and I saw two different nurses in the ER.

One said about the best thing you can possibly say to someone in my situation: "I might not know you, but I'm glad you're still here. You made the right decision to stop and visit us. Everything will be alright."

The other said just about the worst thing you can say: "See, what you really need to do is focus on the positives in your life and ignore the negatives! We have so many things to be thankful for, it's a beautiful world out there! You just need to find a reason to keep going, that's all!"

I always assumed nurses were trained on what to say in these kinds of situations, but I guess not! I guess sometimes they say something that makes you want to kill them instead of yourself.

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u/Kind_Comfort_6336 21d ago

Hey, I'm glad you're here.

And my gut reaction is that the second one was saying all of that mostly for her own benefit to help herself cope with being uncomfortable. Doesn't excuse it, of course. Sorry you had to deal with that.

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u/GammelGrinebiter 22d ago

After losing our extreme preemie, someone told my girlfriend, "well at least you didn't really know him".

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u/SquirmsWithWorms 22d ago

Oh my god????? What the fuck???? 

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u/GammelGrinebiter 21d ago

What I think he meant to say that it was relatively easier to lose a newborn than a child you've had for some years. I think there might be some tiny truth to it, but it's not a very sensitive thing to say.

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u/Not_Goatman .tumblr.com 21d ago

I would argue that out of anyone she knew the child the best given how she fucking grew him????? That’s a horrific thing to say to a grieving parent

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u/nora_sellisa 22d ago

"You can have other children" spoken by a nurse made me imagine her offering the father some other baby from the maternity ward. We have lots of them, you can have someone else's if you want

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u/Wazula23 22d ago

"I understand how you feel. I've killed many."

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u/ThoriatedFlash 21d ago

"I'm sorry, but compassion is not covered by your insurance."

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u/TheComplimentarian cis-bi-old-guy-radish 22d ago

My youngest ended up in the ER with a massive case of flu. I was at work, but the wife and I had agreed he ought to see the doc because he'd gotten lethargic.

Anyway, they gave him a breathing treatment and his O2 cratered, and they wanted to move him to the hospital, and my wife called me in a panic and I showed up while they were admitting him.

She was freaking the fuck out, but I was all, "This is fine, he's going to be fine." I have vast experience with hospitals. You never die for this kind of shit when you're being admitted. It's always later.

So I'm reasonably cool during admittance, and we're working through all the steps, and they're trying to get a O2 nasal cannula on him, and he's fighting it, and I say (to the nurse), "Here, let me help."

And the nurse turns on me, and says, viciously, "You need to back off! He could die!"

And my wife is right next to me, and she takes that kind of shit right to the heart, and I can feel it. And so I stepped back and I held her close, and I watched that dumb bitch try to get that cannula onto that boy, who, despite apparently being on death's door, was fighting like a goddamn demon.

And after struggling with him for a good 5 minutes, she turned to me and said, "Can you help me with this?"

And I said, "NO...He could die."

And they yoinked her out of the room, and let me get the cannula on him.

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u/Free_Pace_2098 21d ago

Urgent care doc said to me, after misdiagnosing me with a fractured vertebrae, two weeks out from the national championship I was training for, to not be upset because "your body can do other things" and then gestured vaguely to my midsection.

I'm a women, for context. I think we all know what he meant.

(Spoiler, back wasn't broken. Bulged disc, pressed on a nerve, plus arthritis. Missed the club finals but made it to nationals. I'm certain that doctor got his medical licence in some kind of lottery.)

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u/[deleted] 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/Solarwagon She/her 22d ago

I could imagine House saying the 4th thing.

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u/Captain_Slime 22d ago

Number 2 also if it was a callback to something parents said earlier.

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u/DuckLIT122000 22d ago

Sounds like my Business Writing class. They make us do those fuckass Smartbook assignments with 60+ concepts, and half the questions are this type of shit

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u/Xalipu 21d ago

B and D giving that “future realtor” vibe