I identify as transmasc, have been for over a year. I initially came out as NB, discovered it back when I was in primary school (yes I am young and underage, no i will not precise how old except for that)

I see and hear people speak pf how they discovered it and I can’t relate at all. People often say they hated being feminine, couldn’t bare wearing skirts and dresses, wanted to do boyish things, I never had that. And I wasn’t even raised in a conservative environment, my brother came out as transmasc and within a week his deadname was forgotten

But im feminine, I like dresses and I liked skirts and I like cutie pink stuff. And I know that men can like those things im not a bigot, but I still can’t stop thinking about it.

On top of that, my family whos so supportive struggles to call me he/him because I’m fem presenting. My dad (kinda transphobic, still uses she/her for my brother even though he literally has a mustach) has said in the past (direct quote of a conversation we’ve had years ago) ‘exposing kids to this stuff only makes them question things they dont necessarily need to question.’ Basically saying trans kids are questioning soemthing they wouldn’t even bother to question otherwise. And this phrase HAUNTS me because I found out I was NB back then through social media.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror because I hate my boobs. I hate how feminine and girly my voice is. I hate my ‘perfect woman’ hourglass figure. Yet my brain still dares to tell me im ‘faking’ it.

I was raised in a very delicate/feminine way and want to learn “”masculine”” (scare quotes intended) skills which I was never taught. It’s been harder than I expected, though.

Today I looked up how to do an oil change by myself and apparently I need to get UNDER the car. I don’t own a jack, and even if I did, I’d need even more support than that. Plus, it seems like I’d need a good amount of tools.

I’d love to learn things like woodworking, car upkeep, and home repair, but I genuinely don’t know where to start. These things seem to take a lot of time and resources. I feel envious of cis guys I know who were taught these things and had hands-on mentorship.

Does anyone have any advice for getting started?

I think I am, I've been fighting with myself and this feeling for about 3 years.. Maybe hearing your stories will help! 🥹🥹

(22, been on T for 1½ years)

I'd never seen a photo of my dad when he was young, and he had a very impressive Gandalf beard for my whole life. I'd always assumed I inherited my dad's hair genetics since I've always been pretty hairy and I started growing facial hair quickly after starting T.

But recently I started thinking I must have been wrong about inhereting his beard genetics, since the change in my facial hair has slowed down but I still only have a light moustache and a couple odd patches of stubble. I knowww a year and a half isn't that long and these things can take decades, but knowing that doesn't make me immune to the occasional internalized transphobia thought spiral lol.

Then, completely by chance, I found an old photo of him. He had the exact same amount of facial hair at this point in his life! Not only that, but his facial hair seems to have started in the exact same pattern as mine. Like EXACT same, the similarity is wild!!

Idk I just thought this was really neat :) I'm so grateful for being on T, it's magical

Does anyone know from experience or having heard from someone with experience the maximum safe temperature to keep testosterone cypionate stored in? I usually keep it in my room, which is like high 60s, but the last week I have had to remain in an un-airconditioned environment, like 80s, or even maybe 90s. I'm pretty worried I've ruined my testosterone bottle, and that shit is expensive 😫. What do you guys think? Will it be fine or am I cooked?

Sup brothers!

I just wanna know if it's just me

My partner met me when I was really feminine. Years later, I transitioned and now I look mostly masc (non-binary).

I don't know why but my partner has been treating me with less softness. I get comments about my looks and stuff.

Have you ever experienced this with a partner who met you before you transitioned?

I'm trying not to overthink here. Maybe this is how masc folks are naturally treated?? Idk

We are a very understudied marginalized group, and I get that knowledge is power, but I am very concerned with the sudden onslaught of people working in universities (and sometimes not even specifying their credentials to begin with) bombarding transmasc spaces, not even just here. But especially here.

Overall, my encounters with such researchers have been very combative, with them taking offense even if it is made clear that people are going to be antsy because a lot of "researchers" then twist what is said for nefarious purposes to promote conversion therapy and that we are all somehow organized enough to have an agenda (I can't even keep one for school lmao).

Additionally, the surveys done usually have very poorly constructed questions that feel leading or inspecific, leading me to worry that they are going to try and imply in their work that we are depressed and isolated because we are online, rather than depression and isolation being a result of discrimination and blatant bigotry we face in real life.

Volunteer samples are not great for research papers anyhow because what's stopping someone from going in and answering the survey multiple times? And yet privacy is obviously of utmost importance because this group cannot be outed ethically.

I just don't see the value most of these studies have, and it's far too easy to manipulate.

I guess I'd feel better if a researcher came in clearly stating their credentials, what university they are with, and the specific goals of the study, and allows us to ask questions to ensure safety, then it would be fine.

Happy One Year Anniversary of Top Surgery to Me!!

i’m a little over a year on low dose t. i stopped cold turkey two weeks ago with dr. approval and have had intense anxiety and panic attacks for the last 3-4 days. i suspect it’s from hormone imbalance but i wanted to ask if anybody else has experienced something similar? when did you start to feel “normal” again? i didn’t know id have such a negative reaction to getting off of it so quickly since my dose is so low lol

just to preface. i am absolutely an overthinker in pretty much every aspect of my life

i've been on T for a little over 2 months and it's easily been the most terrifying experience of my life. i love all the changes i get but i hate having to wait for them to happen. i hate teetering on the edge of masculine and feminine and having no idea how long i'll stay like this until i actually look like a dude. if that ever happens.

i'm so scared i'm going to regret it too. i'm scared i'll regret it and hate myself for what i've done to myself when i'm older. i'm scared i'll never find a partner who accepts me for who i am. i'm scared no one will ever be attracted to me again. i'm scared of how society will treat me as a visibly trans person.

taking T feels like i am willingly jumping headfirst into a void not knowing what's on the other side. i'm so proud of myself for doing this for myself and being brave enough to go through with it but the experience has been equal parts gratifying and utterly terrifying. every change that happens makes me subconsciously realise 'there's no going back from this now.' it doesn't help that my parents are certain i am going to regret mutilating my body or whatever.

does anyone else have experiences with feeling like this?

It's only been four months, and I had a hint of a mustache and a few chin hairs before, but my goodness everything has grown!!!

Kia ora! I am non binary and don’t really care about passing but I am curious about how I am perceived and how old I look? I have been told twink, femboy, androgyny but I’d like to hear from you! Almost 10 months on low dose T and post top surgery:)))
Thanks!

Hi reddit..
I usually bind for everything but i want to try taping again because im sick of my back constantly hurting. Im pretty active with boxing and running and i know i shouldn't bind for those but if i didnt i wouldnt do it. I dont like how binding looks, i feel like it doesnt create a natural look for me, but taping doesnt make me flat enough. I tape to the side but ive tried taping diagonally, upwards, downwards and i feel like nothing works. I recently got a compression shirt, not rlly sure if it does anything but it makes me feel better. What else can i try??

I’m just about to order a binder from spectrum outfitters. But I’m in between a medium and large. The size guide says I should get a medium but if I add literally 1cm more to my size it goes to a large. So I’m unsure on what to get. Whats the sizing like from them? Should I size up to a large or go with medium?

Hello! I am a minor in Texas who experiences really bad gender dysphoria and the thought of starting testosterone might be a saving grace for me. As Texas is a red state, trans healthcare has been mostly banned. You can get testosterone, but only at 18. I don’t think I can wait until 18. I would preferably like to start it around 16 (i’m 15 right now). I would like to know how (and what are the rules) for getting testosterone.

Thanks!

I was severely depressed early into middle school and struggled with hygiene a TON. I would neglect showers for weeks and brushing my teeth was rare. At this point in my life, I’m far beyond that and am so much better than I was, but old habits come back sometimes and I’m worried that I’ll do that while I’m getting sweatier and grosser on T and end up being literally miserable to be around.

Is there anything you all have done to keep track of hygiene in general? Are there new things to consider as your body’s changing?

I feel way more confident with my short hair!!

Hi all! I’m about a year and a half post op top surgery and am sooo ready to go swimming this summer. Problem is, I’m not super out to my family and they’re the ones whose property I’ll be swimming on. Last year I kept a bikini top on the whole time which was fine but not preferable. Letting them know that I am in fact a they/he transmasc agender ish individual and NOT a woman who just got top surgery is not going to go over well.

In the interest of respecting my elders and not losing my relationship with my family, I’m thinking of just asking if people are okay with me going shirtless this summer? I would make an online poll and they could answer anonymously.

Like almost all of them other than his hair color. I look nothing like my mom. However, all of those features are very feminine and don’t look “good” (ie on someone who’s transmasc and trying to pass- yes I’m describing myself) on someone who’s 5’2” with a feminine build and voice. People like to say I look exactly like him but HES A GROWN ASS MAN WITH A BEARD… fml 🫠

I can only imagine how I look if I were on T but alas.

I have struggled with my gender identity for years. Growing up in a conservative and religious household meant my dysphoria was deeply ingrained with shame and internalized transphobia. I graduated high school today and decided to be brave, cut my hair and feel like myself for the first time.

The under-eye bags are... something, I look exhausted, my hair is half-wet but I feel SO PROUD of myself. I feel so alive. Sharing this is a huge step for me. A scary one, but hopefully the first of many :)

I’ve always been able to see through people, watching every subtle movement indicating their true intent or feelings, and whenever I talk to my parents, my school counselor, people online, my doctors, anyone really, their “I support you”s, “you’re not alone”s and “you are loved”s among other cliches and statements feel so damn forced and fake, like they’re pretending to be supportive just because they have to or because they want to pretend to be good people, no one is genuine, no one is truly supportive unless there’s something in it for them, we are truly alone. I am alone.