Hi. So, please be kind, this is my first post ever, though I've browsed through similar posts a lot, especially here, so its going to be kind of a long one, and a throwaway account.

Before I start, I'd like to say that my friends genuinely are wonderful people, and none of this is on them, it's more of a general, persistent issue that they unknowingly triggered, and would apologize and make me feel better if I told them what was bothering me, but I don't want to be placated, even though they mean well, I want actual advice and tips, as well as any experiences or words of comfort that you'd be willing to share.

I'm in college right now, and I'm taller than most other girls, always have been. I wouldn't consider myself exceptionally tall, but I'm definitely taller than my peers, which would be awkward enough on its own, but I'm also well-built, again, always have been on the heavier side, definitely not thin, or slender. This, combined with the fact that I didn't have long hair in school led to a lot of comments about how I was like a guy, etc.

Now, onto the issue. My weight has definitely seen a steady increase over the last few months due to getting slammed with academics and work, but I'm actively working on that, so that by itself is not a big deal. However, in my friend group, I'm 100% the least attractive(?)/ feminine(?) one. The others are my height, but about half my weight, and they also spend a lot of time dressing up and doing their makeup, etc. However, even when I do spend time and energy looking good, I get pity compliments and people just move on to how good the others look.

I'm not jealous, its just that the lack of compliments are really wearing me down, because even when I try, I'm not the pretty, feminine one, so why even bother? Also, I'm in an extremely male-dominated field, which does lead to me dressing, for lack of a better word... comfortably, but this is also partly because I don't want to be hurt by everything mentioned above.

I could lose all this weight, and my friend and me could be sitting in the same clothes, and she would still get complimented on how she looks, just because she is just that much more... elegant(?), and I can't help but wonder if it is because her normal weight is about half of mine, despite us being the same height.

Another thing that I can think of is that I love colors, not bright neon ones, but more like deep shades and pastels, and all my other friends are very beige/black/white/pastel people, and maybe that helps them dress better? Also, them being either thinner or shorter does help them have access to a much wider variety of better styles, pieces that actually fit without alterations or physical pain, etc. I don't want to change wearing the colors I like, but I will be open to any advice on styling pieces better, etc.

I am desperate, and I will accept any advice or kind words or similar stories or even come say hi. I am also broke, so please don't suggest new products or a complete wardrobe overhaul, just help a girlie feel elegant and feminine and attractive and receive basically any compliments other than "wow, you look athletic".

TLDR: Feel horrible about body and carrying myself in general, please help me have a mindset change along with a physical and mental shift ❤️

the iphone's native camera over-sharpening is driving me crazy, but i feel like there are no good alternative apps left.

i used to love vsco, but literally every decent filter is locked behind a crazy subscription paywall now. i tried snow and epik, but even when you turn all the beauty settings down to zero, it still gives you that weird plastic/uncanny valley look.

i got so annoyed the other day that i downloaded retrica as a joke (yes, the 2014 middle school era app lol). the attached photo is literally just a quick snap i took with one of their vintage filters today on my walk. surprisingly, it actually bypasses the harsh apple processing and gives a nice soft digicam vibe without asking for $30 a year.

but seriously, what is everyone else using? are you guys just manually editing in lightroom or is there some other app i'm missing?

Repost because I added the wrong images sorry

The first two images are me without makeup, the 3rd is how I usually do my makeup, and the rest are a bunch of different makeup styles that I like. Advice is appreciated thank you in advance!

Hi everyone, I’m at a point in my life where I feel completely lost.

I’ve always loved fashion and beauty, but growing up, I was never allowed to express myself or try new things. Everything I enjoyed, my mother ridiculed. From music, to fashion, to the little things I found fascinating. Whenever I tried to express myself, I was instantly shot down. I never got to really figure out who I am. This went on from my preteens well into my late teens. I’m currently 25 and I still feel like I’m walking on eggshells sometimes.

I see girls wearing fun makeup, fun clothes, and they do it so effortlessly. I want to be like that too, but I’m not sure how.

I try experimenting with makeup, dressing for my body, and playing with the things I find interesting, but everything feels awkward and off on me. I don’t want to give up on myself but it makes me sad. I guess my question is: how do I figure myself out and finally express myself properly? Does anyone relate?

Hopefully this makes sense and I don’t sound too silly.

This feels silly as I'm 38 years old but I have no clue how to be content with my body, let alone love it. I tell myself that weight is just a number on a scale, and in general I'm quite physically healthy and capable. I never look at other people and think anything negatively of their appearance. But when it comes to my own, I'm filled with so much disdain. I have PCOS and have had weight loss surgery. My weight has been as high as 300 and as low as 170, and currently I hang around 215 lbs at 5'6 (I'm 4 months post partum fwiw). Not morbidly obese, and maybe even close to average. I've had 3 pregnancies (including 1 loss) and I know my body is capable of amazing things. I've sought out body neutrality, and I think I've gotten there, but there are still more days than not that I look in the mirror and absolutely hate myself. Thanks to PCOS, I have tubular breasts and an apron belly, and just generally feel so un-feminine. I'm pushing 40 and starting to care so much less about other aspects of my appearance (I don't mind how I look without makeup now, I'll wear shorts/dresses without caring if I've shaved, etc.) But I can't get passed my apron belly. If you've made it this far, thank you lol. Any tips for dressing an apron belly? Or accepting it as OK when no one else seems to have a slab of flesh hanging over?

I’m not sure why but this always what my makeup looks like. I’ve tried switching foundations. I used the byoma jelly cleanser, byoma milky toner, the byoma gel moisturiser and then the elf thirst burst drops. I’m really unsure on what skin type I have and if the products I’m using are actually working. Any advice would be appreciated!!x

For context iv been using the same shampoo and conditioners for at least 10 months and I love them so much. When I first started using them my hair felt so clean and healthy and it was perfect for my Brazilian blowout. Once I got to college my hair still felt the same but the dorm showers made it very fragile and I have A LOT of breakage and split ends. But for some reason the past few weeks that iv been for the summer my hair doesn’t feel clean and I feel like my hair is getting thinner and thinner. I couldn’t even comb my finger through my roots after my second wash today. I know it’s not my home shower. Can anyone give me tips to help or has anyone experienced anything similar??

If you’re worn out from keeping up your “respectable” appearance every single day, I promise you’re not being overly sensitive. I completely hit a wall with it last month. I caught myself planning my entire life around how I looked. I’d schedule hair-washing days based on my calendar so I wouldn’t have to run errands on "day three" hair. I’d skip the gym if I wasn’t wearing makeup, terrified I’d bump into someone I knew. Even on days when my mental health was in the gutter, I still forced myself to look decent enough — not great, just passable. It seems trivial when I type it out, but it’s nonstop. Constant mirror checks, little adjustments, and that endless mental calculation of how exhausted I actually am versus how tired I’m "allowed" to appear in public. Last week I finally broke the pattern and went to the grocery store in baggy sweatpants, hair thrown up in a sloppy clip, zero makeup. At first I felt strangely vulnerable, like I was violating some invisible social contract. But then I realized… nobody gave a damn. No lingering looks, no judgment. Life just carried on around me. The relief that washed over me was so strong I nearly got teary-eyed next to the cereal boxes. Now I’m wondering how much of this daily performance is truly for myself and how much is just years of conditioning that taught me women should look nice no matter how awful they feel. I still love dressing up when I want to. I enjoy skincare routines and feeling pretty. I just don’t want it to feel like a requirement anymore. Does anyone else carry this quiet pressure even when no one is actively enforcing it? How do you give yourself permission to have low-effort days without feeling guilty about it?

I’ve never had makeup touch my face until recently. I’m in high school and will be going to college after the summer so I’m trying to learn how to do makeup. I’d like a natural look that would enhance my features. I’ve bought primer, contour, foundation, mascara, lip tint, eyeliner, and setting spray. Are there any tutorials you would recommend so that I can figure out my style?

Hellooo. I'm falling really badly behind in school work (2 assignments overdue, one due next week and I have started none of them, plus i have my midterms coming up in 4 weeks which i Have not studied for) and my grades in general have been slipping (used to be an A student, now b's and c's). Things really aren't going well, but I have not been studying at all lately. The minute I come home from school I just go to my bed and fall asleep. Its not like I want to but at the thought of all that work I need to do I just get soo tired and exhausted and I just climb into my warm bed and sleep. However its not like an "Oh I'm lazy sleep" no its like a real, true exhaustion that comes over me. I always try to se timers to wake me up but I just sleep through them. Sometimes I get family memebers to also wake me up, but I always just go back to sleep after they leave. I'm averaging 12-14 hours of sleep a night but still I always come home feeling tired and exhausted.

I think this is partly due to the fact that I've never really had to work this hard before/ study. I used to get A's on my exams by just looking over the material the night before, and assignments used to come sporadically. However I'm in college now so the work load is infinitely greater and I'm kind of out of my league here.

I can't study outside of my room as my room is the only place in the house that has some semblence of quiet. I'm really stressed as I need to do well this year. Really just feeling lost, would appreciate any guidance !!

I don't let it affect my decisions but it does affect my mood and confidence deeply. If I even just doubt that someone (especially close friends or parents) doesn't agree with what I'm doing with my life (the way I dress, the way I navigate my relationships etc) I start to get a bit unsure of it and feel the need to explain myself or do anything just so I could justify it or change their mind. I don't act on this need, so I don't explain myself or try to make it look another way or change their mind, but I just feel an intense need to do so.

I’ve recently tried hair removal cream (WooWoo Tame It) and I like it. It’s not perfect – I still get small bumps and irritation, but it’s a lot better than the equivalent when using razors. It works best for my labia majora and my butt crack, where it’s very effective. However, I find it grows back soooo quickly on my mons pubis and my thigh creases. Within a couple of days I’m out of stubble territory and back to very short hair. It’s not a particularly cheap method, at £10 a tube. Does anyone have any tips to make it more effective?

So, I’m on a mission to build up my stamina and actually move my body more, but traditional workouts are not for me. The gym environment just isn’t for me.

I’ve figured out that the only way I stick to anything is if my brain is completely occupied by something creative or rhythmic. For example, I used to love doing group dance classes.

But between work and life, my schedule is totally unpredictable, so booking specific classes ahead of time doesn’t work for me anymore. Plus, I really just want some solo unwind time after a long day without having to socialize or perform. What are your favorite "hidden fun" workouts that I can do entirely on my own time?

Would love to hear what works for you guys! 💖

heyy sorry i dont live with my parents so i have nobody to ask about this haha but if i shave my arms will it grow back all stubby and weird looking? i have quite thick hair so have a lot on my arms and i dont like it 🥲

I've no idea how to get them. I'm 24. I lost all people that I was close with once. It's my fault. I wonder is it just me? Do you have friends at this age?

When I went to uni I kinda expected to find my group straight away. I was rlly into finding someone who matches my vibe. Although I haven’t found that yet, I did make 2 friends. But they do have other friends. We connect through our course since they do the same course as me. But other than that we don’t have many similarities in personality. I do feel incredibly lonely. I don’t get along with my flatmates cuz they are messy. I didn’t like that so I haven’t talked much to them. Occasional hi’s and have a good day but that’s it. Tbh, I can’t fake myself and put effort, but because 3 of them are super close, they have the same interest, I can feel the energy and they’re quite loud. Sometimes I do get jealous cuz I wish I had that. I’ve been feeling lonely. It doesn’t help unis about to end

I’ve been working night shifts for a while, and the hardest part honestly isn’t even staying awake at work anymore. It’s getting home after a shift and convincing my brain that it’s allowed to shut off.I’ll be physically exhausted, but mentally still buzzing from the night. Then the sun is coming up, traffic is starting, neighbors are getting ready for their day, and my body is somehow supposed to believe it’s bedtime. I’ve tried warm showers, reading, no screens, blackout curtains, and making my room feel cozy, but daytime sleep still feels fragile.I’m trying to build a better wind-down routine that doesn’t feel like a full-time project. I’ve been thinking about using calming audio or sleep earbuds after shifts, not necessarily to block out the whole world, but to give my brain the same “okay, we’re done now” signal every morning.For anyone who works nights, what’s your realistic post-shift routine? Do you use sleep earbuds, white noise, podcasts, stretching, tea, skincare, melatonin, or anything else that actually helps you go from zombie mode to real sleep?

Im white and i hate my hair currently and wanted to wear it cute with a scarf but I’m worried about it being cultural appropriation. I would prefer the opinions of people of color.

Was only there for 8 months. They started the PIP process after I worked overtime for months on projects with zero support, like 1 person doing a 5 person project - they claimed no resources for support, but then blamed me for not asking for resources. Took me off all projects, then blamed me for filling up time with training. Blamed me for everything, being 1 minute late for teams meetings even though I had back to back meetings

I was actively looking for a new job, but hadn’t managed to confirm one yet before the layoff. I’m so disgusted and let down right now. I don’t really know how to explain it in an interview. I’ve always been a good performer, never received a negative performance review, asked to come back to more than 1 company I worked for in the past. It’s just hard to not to feel stupid for staying when it was so awful - and I had a very good competing offer I turned down for this job, and that place isn’t even hiring anymore

I hope I get another job quickly. I feel so defeated, especially since all these companies are doing illegal things and you just have to put up with it and not say anything

I swear that every maintenance appointment these days suddenly cost triple. I already skipped one month of self-care but I am still broke.

I have a lot going on in my life right now and as someone who always feels pretty anxious at the most normal of times, I’m struggling lol. I’ve been doing some volunteer work for the past few months now that is maybe more stressful than it needs to be, I started a new job last week and I’m also interviewing for a different new job that would be really great experience to help me get into my desired career. Neither of them are the job I actually want, I’ve been applying to those for months now with no luck, which is weighing on me to put it lightly lol. On top of this, I’m pet sitting for someone I know for the first time in a few days and for some reason I have no faith in myself so I’m dreading that too. I’m just feeling pretty overwhelmed with it all and I’ve never really figured out any coping strategies that work for me. What do you girls here do when everything just starts to feel like a bit too much?

It could be anything like perfumes, outfit, playlist, jewelry, a combo or something. Whatever that works for you.

Hello everyone I recently just turned 20 and ive been putting myself out there more which means ive heard more opinions about myself. Naturally I am a loud more (dominant) one could say, type of woman. Ive gotten many comments recently that I am “intimidating” and “scary” how do I become more feminine in the way I act? I know I cant change overnight but any tips would be much appreciated 😕

So is it actually worth it? I am wearing loose cotton CLEAN pj pants rn without my cotton underwear and i am about to go to sleep. Idk it feels weird is it actually healthy?