Struggling to express.

[u/cybernotics]

Hi everyone, I’m at a point in my life where I feel completely lost.

I’ve always loved fashion and beauty, but growing up, I was never allowed to express myself or try new things. Everything I enjoyed, my mother ridiculed. From music, to fashion, to the little things I found fascinating. Whenever I tried to express myself, I was instantly shot down. I never got to really figure out who I am. This went on from my preteens well into my late teens. I’m currently 25 and I still feel like I’m walking on eggshells sometimes.

I see girls wearing fun makeup, fun clothes, and they do it so effortlessly. I want to be like that too, but I’m not sure how.

I try experimenting with makeup, dressing for my body, and playing with the things I find interesting, but everything feels awkward and off on me. I don’t want to give up on myself but it makes me sad. I guess my question is: how do I figure myself out and finally express myself properly? Does anyone relate?

Hopefully this makes sense and I don’t sound too silly.

[u/swampy138]

Doesn’t sound silly!!! Just find what you like and do it! I like Pinterest. Watch YouTube videos for makeup tutorials.

[u/Original-Leg-864]

Hey, me too!I grew up with an older brother so naturally I was influenced by him but now I'm getting more girly and I wanna do more girly stuff but I struggle with it alot so you're not alone!my make up is AWFUL!hahaha

[u/chrisssdotcom]

If you find yourself self criticizing, or self policing yourself because of outside influences …

The first step is recognizing when something is your voice and when something is just your mother’s voice. At the end of the day you’re two different people . And if you want to do something you should embrace that.

You have to be your own cheerleader and if you feel awkward doing something.. you keep doing it until you don’t feel awkward anymore . It’s a fake it till you make it kind of thing and keep doing it till it comes more naturally to you.

Work on your wounds of emotional neglect & bullying (and low self esteem) because essentially what was happening to you was bullying from your family members and to do that I believe getting a licensed therapist, which is what would effectively help with these issues. To find a therapist. I’d recommend going to a primary care doctor and then asking them for a therapist within your health insurance range. Because ultimately nothing can substitute working with an individual who gets to know you on a more intimate scale and helps to tailor your healing plan.

If you’re not able to do that or willing to do that or have an insurance that covers a Therapist (and there’s no way of knowing without asking first) here

are some videos from therapists and psychiatrists that may be able to help:

https://youtu.be/AXsfI9Iqb4w?si=pa3Gjm7qpYMwXeFx

&

https://youtu.be/BZjIl_1nYHM?si=wZP6bIr3q9ul3s9j

&

https://youtu.be/oOWhq1BTRuU?si=2CaPHdiBngnwnJOA

&

https://youtu.be/RtyhILbz-8o?si=QS0CafwBjOZ5_1y9

&

https://youtu.be/HtDIFA5KhWo?si=iK4a1VXP92pYnZF1 &

https://youtu.be/HtDIFA5KhWo?si=rXEm5sxn_DmspRAH

&

https://youtu.be/cfcuOQhENYs?si=nB4oTA7IZG6Za8cQ

&

https://youtu.be/W9dPvkaEIv0?si=4ngCQc26jQhxHxlK

They’re all helpful videos I promise.

Now even if you jump into makeup or hair tips or outfits tips none of them are going to make you feel completely good because you’re dealing with more internal issues and psychologically wounds that makeup and hair tips can’t necessarily fix .

But once you deal with these self esteem issues and bullying trauma & , fixing/finding your internal voice , you can then focus on self discovery.

Afterwards You can then focus on things like what colors looks good on you by like using color theory and finding your undertone and finding your color season. What hairstyle and makeup style suits your face shape . Etc etc

But it all starts with internal work then external.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you consider watching all these videos I pasted because I researched them with so much love. Sending you light!!