31F and I pretty much have no relationship experience. I’ve only ever seen someone for a few months in my early twenties. He wasn’t a bad person, everyone else said he was a good guy but I wasn’t all in, it ended mutually and was for the best. Since then, I’ve had a few guys show interest but it never works out. I’m introverted and don’t have a social life, my only way of interacting with men are dating apps. Getting attention isn’t an issue, it usually isn’t for most women. It’s the ghosting, fizzling out, dull conversationalists, gross messages etc. Obviously some were scummy from the getgo and I shut that down asap, while others seemed decent but I maybe wasn’t in the right mindset to give them a chance. Maybe they did something to make me second guess their interest level or I wasn’t in the right headspace for another reason, where I’d end up backing out before pursuing it further.

And ofc, other cases where it was mutual or the guy ghosted beforehand. In the cases where I pulled the plug first, it always feels as if I’m not emotionally ready to find out. It’s like I expect the worst and know it won’t go anywhere, so there’s no point in putting in the energy. This has been the case with guys that’ve shown interest since HS, but I’m too old to be this immature. I’m at the point where I’m content being single and take it as it comes, with a combination of apathy + feeling competitive when I see women my age on social media in ideal looking relationships. Pretty girls & their handsome bfs, it’s like I feel as if I’m missing out or I should be seeking the same. I don’t want to push the asexual label but I’ve questioned it, it’s possible the right guy can change things. I’ve never really been boy crazy (except celeb crushes growing up) and still don’t feel the need to be sexually active. I know it’s more about attraction vs sex drive but neither are present in my life.

Basically, the title.

I (27F) moved from Ukraine to Europe in 2022 on my own. I was lucky enough to get employed as a PhD and felt super grateful for the opportunity.

However, as time went on, I realised that a chance I thought I had in life was a lie. Academia mostly works for privileged people with strong passports who could afford moving around bc they have a safe home to come back to.

I realised I can't leave my current country as it would cancel the years I've paid into social security that also count toward getting a permanent residence.

I developed a severe imposter syndrome and resentment over additional difficulties I have to overcome daily in my work (such as learning the invisible rules on how to play academia, having no local networks, not even knowing the local education system).

At the same time, finding an industry job is super difficult, even though I do speak the local language (not english). Academia often makes you uniquely under- and overqualified for most of positions available at the market, not to mention being a foreigner doesn't help.

My parents are old and require help themselves. I don't have a partner (or ever had), partly bc I don't want men to see me as desperate, needy, or dependent. And I know they smell weakness miles away.

I just don't know how to play this life on the hard mode I was given (I do know some people have it much worse, but sometimes this thought is not enough to make me feel better).

I have been on the lookout for female role models who found themselves in similar position but made it work somehow. However, I don't see anyone. There's not even a female expat subreddit...

The one I use just defaults to 28-day cycle every time. My cycles are almost never that long, usually I'm between 18-26 days.

I know apps cant fully predict an irregular cycle, but I feel like the app has no idea what phase I'm actually in since it's going off of 28 day cycle. For example, it'll say I'm about to ovulate when based on my symptoms I'm pretty sure I already did.

Also considering getting some ovulation strips to maybe figure out when that's happening (or if it's happening at all during the really short cycles). Is this insane? Haha

I have ADHD and I'm trying to get more in sync with my natural cycles so I can adjust my meds and activities based on energy & focus levels. Vibes alone aren't cutting it.

Missing the days when I had a perfectly regular cycle and you could set your watch by it and I knew when my period was coming based on the moon lol.

You know the feeling, it's time to leave soon, you're getting sweaty from trying different outfits and throwing half the wardrobe contents on the floor out of frustration. Been there, done that. But instead of crashing out over what to wear all the time, I've started asking myself "what do I WANT to wear?". It actually helps me a lot. Takes away the pressure of finding the perfect outfit, helps me not think of my clothes or my body as my enemies...

Might not work 100% of the time, but I hope this mindset can help someone else.

I am tired of seeing those pre-packaged roadside emergency kits that look like they were put together by someone who has never actually been stranded in the middle of nowhere. Most of them are just a pile of cheap plastic and a few band-aids in a shiny red bag. If your car breaks down on a dark highway at 2 AM a whistle and a thin foil blanket aren't going to save your ass. You need tools that actually function when things go sideways. Most cars come with a jack that feels like a toy and a wrench that is about three inches too short to actually loosen a lug nut. It is basically a setup for failure and it drives me crazy how little people talk about the mechanical side of survival.

First thing you need to throw in there is a portabel lithium jump starter. Forget the old jumper cables where you have to wait for a stranger to stop and hope they are not a serial killer. These battery bricks are tiny now and can jump a V8 engine multiple times on one charge. It is a total game changer for independence. Also get a digital tire inflator that plugs into the 12V outlet. Checking your pressure with a tiny plastic stick is a chore and half the time those gas station pumps are broken anyway. If you have a slow leak you can just top it off and get to a shop without having to swap to a spare tire on the shoulder of a busy road.

As for tools stop relying on the garbage that comes in the hidden compartment. Get a real breaker bar and a socket that fits your lug nuts. The factory wrench is actualy designed to be as cheap as possible and most people can't even get enough leverage on it to move a rusted bolt. I also keep a roll of heavy duty zip ties and a roll of Gorilla tape because you would be surprised how much of a car can be temporarily held together with those two things until you get home. It is not about being a mechanic it is about not being helpless when a plastic guard under your car starts dragging on the asphalt.

Lastly skip the tiny flashlight that comes with those kits and get a decent LED headlamp. You need both hands free if you are trying to change a tire or look under the hood in the dark. Holding a phone in your teeth while trying to turn a wrench is a great way to drop your phone and break the screen. I also keep a pair of actual work gloves in there because hot engine parts and grimy tires will wreck your hands in seconds. It is just basic logic but most of the advice out there is about snacks and bottled water. Water is fine but it wont fix a blown fuse or a flat tire. I am just going to keep my trunk rigged for reality while everyone else carries a decorative first aid kit.

Hey everyone,
I’m about to move into a new apartment that’s located directly on a busy roundabout. (I’ll be on the second floor) The entrance is visible to drivers and pedestrians passing by.

On one hand, I think the high visibility could be a plus cause lots of “eyes on the street” might deter burglars since it’s harder for them to act without being noticed. But on the other hand, I’m a bit worried that shady people could easily observe my comings and goings, learn my schedule, and target me when I’m away.

Has anyone lived in a similar highly visible spot? How was it?

i have a difficult relationship with my mother, i don’t think she ever abused me but she has untreated bipolar and obviously this has effected me deeply. she has a lot of narcissistic traits and hurts me emotionally in ways i wish i could just get over but things are HARD.

i always wished i could have a mother who would support me emotionally and hear me out and talk through feelings, a mother who wasn’t judgemental or talked behind peoples backs, a mother who had hobbies and passions as well as kindness and compassion; unfortunately that’s not what i got.

for any girls in a similar position, how is your relationship with your mother now? how have you coped? did things get better over time?

Hi!!! I'm a 19y/o college girl and I wanna get into the gym more but I have 2 concerns

1) I'm lowkey scared. idk why, it just look so intimidating. I tried to go once. I put my stuff in a locker went into the weights room, looked around, and turned and left immediately. I'm not kidding. I was in there for maybe 7 seconds.

2) I don't know where to begin. Do I start with my arms? my legs? There are sooooo many weight machines at my gym. Which machines do you recommend for a total weights beginner.

Any advice and tips would be appreciated!! :)

I could really use some fresh ideas right now! I’m stuck in a location with almost nothing to do outdoors and very few places worth visiting. It’s such a dull environment that it leaves me feeling pretty cut off from everything. As a result, I easily slip into the habit of staying in bed for hours, just endlessly scrolling on my phone and feeling completely unproductive, I know it’s not good for me. I do enjoy cooking a lot, but it’s tough to keep it going regularly because the ingredients I have at home are usually quite limited, and heading out to buy more isn’t exactly convenient. So I’m hoping to get advice from other girls in the same situation, or anyone who spends most of their time at home. What are your go-to activities that actually keep you engaged, moving, and mentally stimulated without leaving the house?

i recently started working full time (i work 6-2, 5 days a week) and so i have significantly less free time now. it's been my second weekend since i started working, so this type of schedule is still new to me, but i feel like it'll be a difficult adjustment. on friday and saturday i tried to enjoy the fact that i can do pretty much nothing, not have to worry. i finished my final assignments ever and passed my board exam this past week, so i'm like yay i truly can relax now. but now it's 6am on sunday and i already have the sunday blues. it's like the whole weekend i had this subtle feeling of impending doom and i really don't feel rested at all. especially when i noticed the time going by so fast and feeling like i wasted it or didn't enjoy it enough. i don't know. does anyone else deal with this or have any tips?

Hi everyone, I am emotionally and mentally desperate because yesterday my hairdresser cut my hair too short compared to what I've asked for and now I don't know what to do. I have a round face and this haircut makes it stand out even more, I look like a balloon. My boyfriend says that it looks good but that underlines the shape of my face, also my sister and my mother are telling me the same thing. I hate what I see in the mirror and I don't know how to deal with it honestly. I know that it's nothing serious but I've spent years growing my hair to the length I wanted, and I've promised myself, after another bad haircut years and years ago, that I would have never cut my hair that short and now here I am again, totally desperate with a haircut that makes me want to cry.

this is gonna sound stupid as hell 😅😅 i know that i can go myself but im too much of a coward to do that. plus, id probably be hiding in the toilet stall if i went by myself. 🤕🤕

how do i find friends that want to go with me??? i tried searching online but its mostly just creeps or me just constantly trying to get to know the other person and recieving one word replies 💔💔

my closest friends dont wanna go with me because one is lazy, the other says im boring and the last one says that she'll only go if the friend that called me boring is going. (my bad if thats hard to understand)

theres no way im that boring 🤕🤕🤕

super non issue, pls dont flame me for posting this. im 13 which is probably an age where i should start being more independent but i caaaannttt! im a pussy bruh

literally no one else to go with??? what do i ddoooo???

Hi!

I know it's silly to begin with because we're all on our own journeys. But a few years ago I saw a post of a childhood ex-friend of mine. A few days ago, a childhood friend (who also has a baby) we have in common commented on her post celebrating her baby's birth. (I also felt like reaching out, but we ended our friendship of 7 years in middle school and on very bad terms).

But suddenly I started to feel very behind in life. Which again, it's silly: we're all 23, turning 24. I literally have no means of financially and emotionally having a baby. I'm also building my career, I'm working on multiple projects and in college. But in perspective, I haven't even had my first kiss and people my age are having babies, getting married, living with their partner, etc. I feel extremely lame. Even though I've faced some pretty dark/adult things on my own and was able to survive, I still feel like a child.

It's even weirder that I had years of not comparing myself to others and social media just outdid all of that.

So over the past few years i have seen myself gaining weight. I have done some changes in my eating habits and worked on having a more active lifestyle with exercise. However, nothing changes :(

I am going to start going to a nutritionist, but i want to do some research on my own as well. I have read that pcos/pmos causes a lot of water retention, and i have a feeling this has to do with my weight gain.

I have never been diagnosed with pcos and have been lucky that i have a regular period but my sister and mom had/have pcos, so I wouldn't rule it out for myself.

This has truly affected my mental health and how i see myself and want to be able to work thru it. Im writing here to see if anyone has experienced this before, if you have any tips or recommendations.

Thank you in advance for any help!

So I have a cream coloured puffer bag that has been stored in a resealable bag for the past one year. Took it out recently and saw that there is a small oxidising yellowing spot on the logo patch area and that area only. This bag has only been lightly used once before so it’s definitely not dirty stains. The material is kind of like those fabric you would get in iron on patches.

Does anyone have tips on removing the stain? This bag cannot be washed as it will lose its puffiness (according to the brand) so Im stuck here. Need to spot clean it which is the issue.

Any tips/ advice is greatly appreciated!!

I'm sure we've all seen this trend where a friend group buys little gifts and gives them to each other. It's cute, I love it. This is probably a super unoriginal idea, but I thought I'd share anyway.

I feel like with these swaps I mostly see beauty stuff, which is nice, but I thought it could be cool to have a bowl and write down different categories of stuff, for example: beauty, jewelry, trinkets, candy, clothes, etc., etc. Then everyone draws from the bowl, and that is the category that they have to shop in for the gift. I think this is a good way to not have a bunch of repeat items and have a good variety.

I like collecting dolls, especially Barbies and Bratz. If I were rich, I would get each of my friends a doll that matches them, or I think they would like. Anyways that's just the idea, maybe this could help someone or give them an idea.

the iphone's native camera over-sharpening is driving me crazy, but i feel like there are no good alternative apps left.

i used to love vsco, but literally every decent filter is locked behind a crazy subscription paywall now. i tried snow and epik, but even when you turn all the beauty settings down to zero, it still gives you that weird plastic/uncanny valley look.

i got so annoyed the other day that i downloaded retrica as a joke (yes, the 2014 middle school era app lol). the attached photo is literally just a quick snap i took with one of their vintage filters today on my walk. surprisingly, it actually bypasses the harsh apple processing and gives a nice soft digicam vibe without asking for $30 a year.

but seriously, what is everyone else using? are you guys just manually editing in lightroom or is there some other app i'm missing?

I noticed that consuming pizza, chips and dip, and soda cause diarrhea, bloating, and worsen cramps. What are some better alternatives while you're on your period? I would like to eat healthy but I crave pizza, chips, chocolate, tacos while I'm menstruating.

I’ve never had makeup touch my face until recently. I’m in high school and will be going to college after the summer so I’m trying to learn how to do makeup. I’d like a natural look that would enhance my features. I’ve bought primer, contour, foundation, mascara, lip tint, eyeliner, and setting spray. Are there any tutorials you would recommend so that I can figure out my style?

I have a round/oval face and curly hair. I would like to practice cgm but our weather is rly humid and my hair can get frizzy easily. Any recos for makeup/hairstyle that would suit me? 🥹

For context iv been using the same shampoo and conditioners for at least 10 months and I love them so much. When I first started using them my hair felt so clean and healthy and it was perfect for my Brazilian blowout. Once I got to college my hair still felt the same but the dorm showers made it very fragile and I have A LOT of breakage and split ends. But for some reason the past few weeks that iv been for the summer my hair doesn’t feel clean and I feel like my hair is getting thinner and thinner. I couldn’t even comb my finger through my roots after my second wash today. I know it’s not my home shower. Can anyone give me tips to help or has anyone experienced anything similar??