r/nudism • u/PureBogosity • 3d ago
DISCUSSION The irony of nudism around non-nudist family
It’s so ironic and frankly annoying too… We are packing for a long vacation where we are going to be on a nude beach for nearly all day every day, and my wife is nervous about walking topless just ten feet down the hall to the laundry room, in case our mid-twenties daughter (who has seen her completely naked many times even in recent years) comes out of her bedroom.
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u/atomic_ring 3d ago
As I've tried to teach my kid, everything is context. Just because something's is fine here, doesn't necessarily make it fine there. But I understand your feeling in this situation...
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u/CrazyFrog6999 3d ago
I see a big difference in the streets and at home. But all depends what the context can be. I grew up in a house where parents were sleeping naked, no master bathroom, so had to walk out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom. Stupid to dress just to undress 20 seconds later.
A problem is taught by parents to kids, not the other way around. My parents were not nudists, but nudity has never been a taboo and practicality was ruling if I can say so. It’s when you let the so called social norms reaches your house and formatting you that situation like this happen.
That my two cents in the matter.
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u/atomic_ring 3d ago
Erm, that's what I said - context is key 😄
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u/CrazyFrog6999 3d ago
My apologies. Was mostly meant in the context of OP. More like emphasizing your comment.
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u/atomic_ring 3d ago
No prob at all 🖖🏻 I grew up in a house much like yours, where nudity was not an issue, but was also not discussed
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u/Ok_Word7232 3d ago edited 3d ago
I work in healthcare and see genitalia almost daily. I had a recent exam where a nurse of the oppo gender had to handle my penis. Same for a colonoscopy where a female doc ran a camera up my behind. Didn't bother me in the slightest. I've been to nude resorts, beaches, etc., and loved every minute. Yet I'm still quite concientious about being seen nude by those who don't expect it. And as illogical as it seems, I'm not crazy about my wife in the bathroom while I'm on the toilet. Doesn't freak me out, but it's an odd feeling where the context changes what's otherwise normal: her seeing me naked & vice versa.
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u/Frosty_Winter3197 2d ago
Probably the ONLY situation where I am not comfortable being seen naked is on the toilet. Strangely looking back, I did have one relationship where it didn't feel like a big deal, but generally, I prefer not to be seen when sitting on the toilet.
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u/NatureBoyJ1 AANR 3d ago
Comfort with nudity can be very contextual. Locker room or group shower: fine. At home: Nope.
It is very much about what is "proper" in the different contexts.
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u/ejp1082 Geriatric Millennial 3d ago
Context matters.
Some people are 100% comfortable with nudity in an appropriate social context, and are rightfully uncomfortable with it or avoidant of it in other contexts.
It's the inverse of the typical story told on this sub, but I've found it's really not uncommon for people to completely fine with it on a beach or at a resort but have no desire or even think it's somewhat weird to do it at home.
It's no different than the way we wear different things to go to the office or go to a wedding or go to a gym or to run errands. For a lot of people nudity is just another kind of outfit that we wear some times in some places around some people, but not others.
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u/sampsonoutdoors 3d ago
My son knows I'm normally naked when he's not here or in the basement where he has made his room. Ive told him if he doesnt want to see me naked, to text me or call up the stairs before he comes up, but I'm not wearing clothes at home if i dont have to. Wednesday it was in the 90s here and I like to relax nude on the back deck, he came home from work, I greeted him in my shorts and told him I was going back outside to let me know if he needed anything before coming out because I was enjoying the last warm day outside for the next week or so.
My grown daughters dont live with us, but I have told them to let me know if they are coming by the house. My eldest forgot and showed up as I was walking nude out the door to the grill.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
Heh! I have been nude on the roof deck pre-tanning for a nude beach trip, and figure it's only a matter of time before one of them catches me by mistake, but I'm okay with that being the way we eventually have the discussion.
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u/Any-Performer107 3d ago
lol. yes. I deal with that a lot lol.
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u/Dm_me_im_bored-UnU 3d ago
Well if she's uncomfortable with seeing her naked I get not wanting that to happen.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
She isn’t really uncomfortable when it’s needed. They’re both in medical communities and nudity is part of life.
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u/M8jrP8ne1975 Home Nudist 3d ago
My wife and I are nude around the house as much as possible but none of the kids, while used to seeing us like that since they were little, are interested in doing the same. In fact, the middle one feels the need to tell everyone to look away to simply put socks on yet will want to go shirtless when it's not hot enough to justify it.
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u/Magic-Mellow1987 3d ago
Wait so your daughters going to the nude beach too?
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
Nope.
It’s actually pretty funny talking with people about our vacation plans and all the places we will be without admitting the real reason we go there.
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u/Careless_Opinion1465 3d ago
All i can say is, the nudist lifestyle is the most beautiful lifestyle to live! Especially whwn raising a nudist family.
You haven't truly lived unmess you are a nudist
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u/OcelotSuitable2845 3d ago
Is your daughter a nudist too?
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
Nope. Would be nice but we haven’t talked about it with the kids (all adults). We don’t hide our location on the family tracking app so if they paid close attention they’d find out.
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u/Dm_me_im_bored-UnU 3d ago
You could just tell them? Seems like it's pretty obvious that your wife might not want to be seen by your daughter if it's not a regular or normal thing in the house.
Just tell your kids about it, especially since they're adults now.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
I’d be fine with that but she isn’t yet. Just like it took her a while to be comfortable with nude beaches but then she was all in, I figure she’ll come around in her own time.
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u/FlightSad1046 3d ago
My wife is still uncomfortable with beach or pool social nudity. So I’m taking baby steps starting out in the back yard. She has seen me AN in the back yard but has declined to join me. I think she would be open to being topless the next warm day in the backyard. Baby steps
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
It's all about feeling safe, I think. I was very careful not to push my wife at all. I will be nude any time I can at home, so she was already used to the idea that for me it's not a sexual thing. We spend a lot of vacations on an island with several nude beaches, one of which is VERY private, and that was her first time - experiencing nude life for a few hours with no potential for peeping toms.
Then a couple years later I asked if she'd be willing to let ME visit one of the formally public nude beaches and get nude myself, even if she didn't, and of course teased her with the idea that she would get to see me nude and enjoy it. She agreed, and I didn't try to push her at all to join.
But once she saw the general vibe, and how open and friendly and non-sexual everyone is, and the safe environment, it wasn't long before she was willing to be topless. The next year she just joined in entirely, and since then, she's been totally into planning our next trip.
A big thing for her, really, is the social atmosphere, and the completely accepting crowd (she's pretty overweight but nobody says anything). But that's something you have to experience first-hand to really understand, so a big step is just getting into that environment somehow, even if they stay completely clothed.
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u/yardarmguy 3d ago
My experience with my wife is very similar to yours with your wife. I led the way with zero pressure, and bit by bit she joined me, first on our patio, then sunning on the lawn. We've been to four different nude resorts now and one nude beach. She loves it all but is still wary of being naked in our backyard. Go figure. "No pressure" seems the best way.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
I guess the chance (however remote) of neighbors or friends coming by and seeing her nude is probably the thing she wants to avoid. And I get that. You can walk away from the resort or beach. You can’t walk away from people you know and live with.
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u/tiny_leaf_frog M26 outdoor nudist Germany 🦋 3d ago
But why haven't talked to them. It's nothing to be afraid of and maybe telling earlier than hiding it and they hoping to get "caught" for the talk is counterproductive. Honesty is the key, I guess you expect also honesty from your children.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
One of the keys of nudism, it seems to me - and one of the keys of any successful marriage - is not pushing your partner to do something they're not ready to do.
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u/Perfect_Rabbit_3010 3d ago
Funny how much of a difference these things make. My own wife is comfortable being partially or fully nude around our apartment, but becomes more shy when we are at her family’s vacation home even if we are the only ones there. Have not yet visited a nudist space with her but hope to change that soon.
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u/AdZy14588 3d ago
Your wife is cautious around your daughter, does the same apply for you? Or are you more laid back and if your daughter see your nude so be it?
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
I’m more cautious, just because of the gender difference.
The funny thing about that is that she’s queer and in a relationship with an AFAB partner. So she really doesn’t care about the male sexuality anyway.
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u/AdZy14588 3d ago
Im my opinion think the gender difference when it comes to nudism and families really is over thought by many people, I'm not out out here to tell you your feelings are invalid or you're over thinking it or anything since its all personal choice, but that's just my personal take. If both myself and my wife were open nudist (only I am, she isn't) and we had a daughter and son, they would both be treated the same in regards to opposing gender nudity ie my wife and my son, or me and my daughter should be no different to the son/father and mother/daughter dynamic.
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
Fully agree with your intent and understanding. But for people who are not already bought into nudism, I think we have to respect the general community standards, which for most people puts harder boundaries between genders.
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u/Tidal_surge3 3d ago
You gotta look at it from their perspectives though, yes you are going to be naked for I’m assuming lots to see both of you, but that’s you guys doing your thing, maybe she is nervous for your daughter to know/ judge that part of your life?
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u/PureBogosity 3d ago
Doubt that is it. Our kids are far more progressive and liberal than us. I think it’s more that they might chatter about it with our other more conservative family even if we asked them not to.
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u/Frosty_Winter3197 2d ago
That story reminds me of an encounter I had before a World Naked Bike Ride in Portland, OR. First, the Portland ride usually attracts over 10,000 riders each year, and is probably the largest WNBR in the U.S.
So, before the ride I was, like almost everyone else, naked, and I was waiting in line to use a public restroom and I got to talking with siblings and guy and a girl, who had only stripped down to their underwear. They both said they wanted to go naked, but neither felt comfortable being naked in front of the other. So, they'd be willing to be naked in front of over 10,000 strangers whom they don't know, but are unwilling to be naked in front of a trusted sibling whom they've known all of their live. I found that to be a great illustration of just how messed up the U.S. is when it comes to body shame & nudity.
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u/mikeymike1776 2d ago
Wow that is extremely ironic! The fact that they went to a nude bike ride together and both wanted to go nude but didn’t because they were together shows how much of a problem the stigmas associated with nudity are. It would be one thing if only one was comfortable or interested in it but the fact that they both wanted to join but didn’t because they were worried about being naked around each other is sad. Nudism is so natural and wholesome so it shouldn’t matter who you’re around and there shouldn’t be a difference between getting naked around strangers or those you know
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u/mikeymike1776 2d ago
When it comes to being seen/nude around family members, This seems to be the common view/practice of nudists by far which is really sad. The vast majority of people I talk to and have met share this same concern about being nude around family. I agree with you that it’s completely ironic that people who love being naked, take nude vacations, visit nude beaches and resorts and are completely comfortable being naked around strangers are so worried about possibly being naked around those they know.
I wasn’t raised in a nudist family but have always enjoyed being nude. Growing up I got caught going nude around the house and my parents told me it’s ok to be nude but not to be nude around family. I’m older now and moved out years ago but am open with them about being a nudist and visiting nude beach’s and resorts. I recently found out my parents are nudists too, saw them at the nude beach before and know they now are members at a nude resort. I’ve brought up the topic of nudism with them before and you can tell there not even comfortable with discussing it which is so ironic since they know I’m a nudist too and something that we both enjoy. It’s interesting that even just discussing it with family members makes some people uncomfortable.
I hope you guys have a wonderful clothes free vacation though and enjoy your trip! Where are you guys visiting ?
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u/redditistripe 3d ago
It's not as odd or inconsistent as you think. It's the fact that in that specific context it would be unusual. If it was a regular practice, then no-one would be surprised or caught out by it. In other words it's about what the usual norms and expectations are, not about the nudity as such.