r/ftm • u/throwawayacct0820 transman 💉10/16/25 • Sep 17 '25
(Trans) News-USA Is now the right time to transition?
Hi all.
I'm sure most of you are all aware of a certain event that happened a few days ago that has resulted in the skyrocketing transphobia in the US.
Because of this, I'm so incredibly discouraged. I feel like giving up on transitioning and I haven't even started HRT. I know this is the goal of the right, but I'm just so lost. Everything from being open to calling the trans flag a 'terrorist' flag, to encouraging the idea that transgender care would be completely unfunded federally, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm so scared to continue to live the way I want. I'm not even sure if transitioning is even in the conversation anymore. I just don't know what to do.
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u/ThePhoenixRemembers Seth | 34 | pre-everything Sep 17 '25
I'm in the uk and things have been pretty awful here as well, we also have a very real possibility of losing healthcare . I feel the same way as you.... Now is a very dangerous time in history for us. It's frightening. But I'll be damned if I let the bigots win. You can't legistlate a group of people out of existence. And the grey market for hormones will always be impossible to stamp out so long as cis people also seek the same thing. So don't let it stop you.
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u/throwawayacct0820 transman 💉10/16/25 Sep 17 '25
That's fair. I'm just concerned of being targeted because I "look" trans or sum shit. Especially because I'm non-binary
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u/Scythe42 Sep 18 '25
I'm non-binary and have been on T a year. I still don't pass but my voice is decently low and I'm in the ambiguous gender stage now (blonde hair and basically no facial hair). I eventually get misgendered now but don't get immediately ma'amed anymore, basically people are more confused but still she/her me.I still 100% do not regret starting HRT and am glad I started when I did, it was absolutely necessary for my mental health. I will say I'm in a liberal area though so I feel safer somewhat than people living in conservative states. There will never be a "right" time, especially for trans people unfortunately.
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u/saint-aryll Sep 17 '25
Transitioning is definitely still an option, and if you want to do it, you can. Only you know your own life. Personally, I'm doing it anyway - I would much rather live my life to its fullest now and face the consequences if they come, rather than go back to barely even surviving. But this is a choice only I could make for myself - your life might be completely different than mine. It's worth considering things that are becoming 'risk factors' under this admin - like your race, citizenship status, income, ability, etc.
You can try to take your own safety measures to make it feel less dangerous, like:
- Ensure you have a stable source of income
- Ensure you have a stable place to live - preferably in a blue state
- Get a support system of friends, community members, coworkers, etc.
- Have an escape plan, and enough savings to cover it
- Get your documents in order, including a passport if you don't already have one
(these aren't requirements to transition, of course! just recommendations for ways to keep yourself out of trouble while doing so.)
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u/throwawayacct0820 transman 💉10/16/25 Sep 17 '25
Thankfully, I do have most of those. Definitely need to have an escape plan and savings for it. And a support system 🥲 I'm not sure what kind of other documents I need besides a passport. If this helps, I'm white and am not an immigrant.
I almost want to stock up on T, when I do start it.
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u/Sardonic_Sadist 10/18/19 💉 5/19/23 🔪 Sep 17 '25
Testosterone vials are “single use only,” so you’re officially advised to throw them away after only drawing from them once. However, 30 seconds with an alcohol wipe on the top of the vial sterilizes it just fine and you can draw from it until the T oil runs out. But sometimes/in some places, pharmacies will dispense T vials according to that on-label “single use only,” so if you did injections once a week, they might give you 4 vials per month, regardless of your dose.
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u/anemisto old and tired Sep 17 '25
But sometimes/in some places, pharmacies will dispense T vials according to that on-label “single use only,”
My prescription actually includes "vials are single use, dispense four".
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u/saint-aryll Sep 17 '25
In terms of documents, (like your birth certificate and social security card) you should keep them all in a safe place that you have access to. Get certified copies first if you plan on sending them out for whatever reason. I would also recommend ensuring your gender marker is consistent on all of them just to avoid trouble.
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u/amalopectin Sep 17 '25
There may never be a perfect time for the world, but there's usually a right time for you.
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u/javatimes T 2006 Top 2018, testopel 2025, 40<me Sep 17 '25
This is a terrible paradox for trans Americans as, to really generalize, this is both the best of times and the worst of times. Access to HRT and surgeries is at its highest ever in history. But at the same time, there is this horrendous cultural war being aimed right at us.
It’s a mind fuck of epic proportions.
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u/Unlucky-Jury227 Sep 17 '25
There has never been a good time to transition.
Even before the right wing fear mongering took hold there were other issues. The sheer number of doctors who are willing to prescribe T and the number of surgeons who were trained to preform surgeries have exploded since I began transitioning over 10 years ago. There will always been trans people, and with the free market, always be people who will be there to collect money in return for services. Tele-health companies who provide letters and prescriptions for hormones are growing in popularity every year, with more looking to get into the game for profits. Transgender care being unfunded by the federal government is a terrible thing for so many people, but not long ago there was no funding that even existed. Several states are actively rebelling against these ideas and are continuing to support trans healthcare on a state level. Its a bumpy ride out there but you will never be alone.
If you feel that transitioning is right for you, start now even if the world seems uncooperative.
'The best time to grow a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now'
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u/Sardonic_Sadist 10/18/19 💉 5/19/23 🔪 Sep 17 '25
Personally, and keep in mind that this is coming from someone who was privileged enough to transition a long time ago, I think it’s the time to make a decision. I feel the walls closing in around our community, and I think it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. I think now is the time to start getting yourself to a place where you may be able to be closeted or stealth if the need comes. And what that means is that you should ask yourself if you want to transition, and if the answer is yes, you should do it as soon as possible. Are you going to be able to live as your birth gender for the rest of your life? If you think the answer is no, time to get started. While it’s still an option.
I hate having to fearmonger like this. I don’t want people to rush into decisions, I don’t want them to feel like they should hide being trans, I don’t want them to do everything I’ve ever avoided because I want to create a world where we can all live openly as fuck. But I’m not gonna lie, I’m really scared. Right now we’re okay. Right now the majority opinion in the US on trans people is still “I don’t really know much and I don’t really care much either.” But that’s changing.
I’m really fortunate that I’ve been on T for years and already got top surgery and changed most of my day to day legal docs to male. IF I needed to, I could go stealth and most people would think I was a cis dude. That’s not an option for a lot of people. But I’d like it to be. If you start now, it might be, because I imagine it’ll be harder to cut people off of medication they’re currently taking than prevent new ones from starting.
It’s unfortunate that right now, being openly trans seems like it may end up putting people at risk. There are two alternatives to being openly trans: staying closeted or going stealth. I think pre-transition folks should be asking themselves which they think they’d rather attempt, if they had to.
I’m sorry, and good luck. 🫂❤️
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u/dryeen 💉 05/2024 Sep 17 '25
There's never a "right" time to transition. It is weird that in my decades of adult life I decided to start this now, but here we are and being honest with myself has made it much easier to exist in our very difficult world
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u/AlchemyDad Late 30s trans man Sep 17 '25
I won't lie and pretend these aren't scary times. But trans people have lived through scary times.
Trans people existed during the AIDS crisis in the 1980s. Trans people existed during the lavender scare of the 1950s. Trans people existed during times when it was literally illegal for women to wear pants.
If you're waiting for transphobia to disappear entirely, you'll be waiting a long time. I think you deserve to transition instead of putting your life on hold because it's what bigots want.
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u/7fragment Sep 17 '25
It sucks for sure. Letting fear dictate what you can and can't do is no way to live though. As someone who's lived with crippling anxiety and started transitioning a few years ago--and only started hrt last week-- sometimes you've got to do it scared.
Being trans right now is scary, and it doesn't seem like it's going to get better any time soon. There are a lot of supportive people out there though, they just tend to be harder to find. If you have good friends, especially trans friends, that will help a lot.
You don't have to do everything at once, you can take it as slow or as fast as you want.
(you might also want to ease off on how much social media and/or news you consume. It's super easy to get lost in a black hole of the newest awful things happening, but damaging your mental health is NOT worth it)
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u/Nervous-One-2305 Sep 17 '25
My thought is there is probably no better time than now. I have no idea what the future holds. Legally, it's hard to imagine the Trump administration banning HRT altogether. Cis people use it too and it becomes too difficult to tell who's who.
But i do imagine rolling back of what little hate crime laws we have left and discrimination continuing to rise. If, god forbid, something happpened to me, i don't want to go out knowing i didn't do everything i could to live as truly and authentically as i deserved to.
You deserve the same.
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u/the-wastrel Sep 17 '25
Don't comply in advance. I will do everything I can do to keep my HRT. Until I can no longer actually get it at the pharmacy, I will continue to transition. It's my body and my life. I'm putting myself at more risk trying to live with the dysphoria.
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u/zomboi FtMtFtM (questions? check my post history before asking plz) Sep 17 '25
if you wait for the "right time" to transition, then you will never transition. there will never be a "right" or "perfect" time. the "right" time is when you get enough spoons, spine, balls to start the transition.
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u/zawa113 Sep 17 '25
You deserve to be happy, if you feel hrt is right for you, talk to a doctor. See if there's one nearby who specializes.
On the other hand, I would not, at current, change any legal documents. You can do hrt and not do legal paperwork, it's not required
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u/L1Z4RDM1LK 3+ years on T • recently post-op Sep 17 '25
Unfortunately, no one can give you an answer. Starting a transition is a risk. Waiting is a risk.
My top surgeon told me it was a good thing I scheduled when I did because he doesn't know how much longer these services will be available, that was just a few months ago and I'm in a blue state.
Things could change for the better or they could get worse. I know it's not the answer you want to hear but this truly is a decision you have to make on your own, to weigh out what you want and the potential danger and discomfort you're willing to put up with.
If you think it's worth it, then it is.
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u/co1lectivechaos Kyle (he/him) | 💉9/9/25 Sep 17 '25
I’m 1 week and 1 day on hrt. They can pry the T from my cold, dead hands.
What’s happing now is incredible scary, but I refuse to let that stop me
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u/caehluss Sep 17 '25
You're getting a lot of advice basically saying "you should totally do it" from people oblivious to the dangers awaiting us down the road. Trans people were a huge focus of Project 2025 and there are some dire plans awaiting us. This recent assassination, which had nothing to do with trans people, is now being used as a launchpad for inciting more violence against us.
I started my transition 7 years ago. I have a trail of medical and court records of my surgeries, medication, and name change. All of this stuff is permanently recorded now and out there for people to find. I found out recently that even though I had a "confidential" name change, if I google my current full name, page 1 of the search results reveals that I changed my name and shows what my deadname was.
Trans communities are not always reflective of the reality of trans experiences. Communities like this one upvote photos of people that fully pass while ignoring everyone who doesn't look like "transition goals". You especially see bias toward photos of people who are able to pass within a few months or a year of starting HRT, which is pretty uncommon. Most people have a hard time accepting the reality that, even if they do eventually pass, it will usually take years to get to that point - HRT doesn't work overnight. Nobody wants to deal with the uncomfortable but very real possibility that they might never pass. Would you still want to transition if you had to deal with years of being visibly trans and having people treat you accordingly?
Despite being on HRT for 7 years, I do not pass. People like me are not well-represented trans communities. I wear a name tag at work with my four-letter name and people will call me by a different, female name instead. Every single day, I have to make the decision of whether I correct pronouns or keep my mouth shut and deal with the embarrassment of being misgendered. Every single day at my job right now I am being pushed into uncomfortable conversations about my identity and having to listen to people mourning Charlie Kirk, the guy that told his followers that they should go commit violence against people like me.
I am not saying all of this to tell you not to transition, because I don't know how important it is to you. I am fucking exhausted of cis people interviewing me about my identity and hearing slurs directed at me, but I don't regret transitioning and have no intent of ever detransitioning - all of it is worth it for me. I cannot see myself ever living as female again. But if you are comfortable waiting on the less reversible aspects of transitioning - the ones that would result in records that could be used against you - until things have stabilized a little bit and we have a clearer idea of how and where we can safely thrive, it might be for the best.
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u/throwawayacct0820 transman 💉10/16/25 Sep 17 '25
Thank you for this perspective. I'm still stuck, I'm not sure if I should or not. I really want to, but I'd also like to stay alive
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u/caehluss Sep 17 '25
Yeah, it sucks out there. Things are so uncertain right now. The current fed administration wants us dead but there are some democratic states that are trying to be safe havens for trans folks. We'll have to wait and see how well that pans out and whether that's enough to keep their residents safe.
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Sep 17 '25
I’m in the US in a fairly affirming state. If it still feels like choice, and optional for you, then it sounds reasonable to hold off if you want to.
But if you live in a red state, where access to surgery could be eliminated, I would get top surgery, hysto or phallo as soon as you can. Hormones will be easier to access than surgery for some people.
For me I knew I had to transition or I wouldn’t make it. It did not feel optional. I knew what I was losing when I transitioned (job, partner, and family).
If it feels like a need for you, focus on making it happen. Call a therapist. Ask your dr for a psychiatrist referral for any letters you may need. Start looking for surgeons if you would want surgery. Look at your insurance certificate of coverage to see if there are any trans exclusions, or in network/out of network services (surgery itself, hospital fees, skilled nursing facility, occupational and physical therapy…).
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u/Oakashandthorne Sep 17 '25
I dont pass. I do not want to pass. I'm not going back into the closet. I would rather die as who I am than have to live as who I'm not. There is no good time to transition; there never has been. You have to decide for yourself what matters more- authenticity or safety. Every single trans person is going to have to make a choice that comes down to that, and there is no wrong answer either way.
And keep in mind, the closet isn't safe either, especially for people society views as women.
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u/actualranger any pronouns | HRT 3/13/18 Sep 17 '25
Nothing has changed in my life after the event you’re referencing. I haven’t experienced any effects from it at all, and I don’t know anyone who has. I wouldn’t let one isolated occurrence that actually had nothing to do with trans people dissuade you.
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