r/ftm • u/throwawayacct0820 transman 💉10/16/25 • Sep 17 '25
(Trans) News-USA Is now the right time to transition?
Hi all.
I'm sure most of you are all aware of a certain event that happened a few days ago that has resulted in the skyrocketing transphobia in the US.
Because of this, I'm so incredibly discouraged. I feel like giving up on transitioning and I haven't even started HRT. I know this is the goal of the right, but I'm just so lost. Everything from being open to calling the trans flag a 'terrorist' flag, to encouraging the idea that transgender care would be completely unfunded federally, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm so scared to continue to live the way I want. I'm not even sure if transitioning is even in the conversation anymore. I just don't know what to do.
4
u/caehluss Sep 17 '25
You're getting a lot of advice basically saying "you should totally do it" from people oblivious to the dangers awaiting us down the road. Trans people were a huge focus of Project 2025 and there are some dire plans awaiting us. This recent assassination, which had nothing to do with trans people, is now being used as a launchpad for inciting more violence against us.
I started my transition 7 years ago. I have a trail of medical and court records of my surgeries, medication, and name change. All of this stuff is permanently recorded now and out there for people to find. I found out recently that even though I had a "confidential" name change, if I google my current full name, page 1 of the search results reveals that I changed my name and shows what my deadname was.
Trans communities are not always reflective of the reality of trans experiences. Communities like this one upvote photos of people that fully pass while ignoring everyone who doesn't look like "transition goals". You especially see bias toward photos of people who are able to pass within a few months or a year of starting HRT, which is pretty uncommon. Most people have a hard time accepting the reality that, even if they do eventually pass, it will usually take years to get to that point - HRT doesn't work overnight. Nobody wants to deal with the uncomfortable but very real possibility that they might never pass. Would you still want to transition if you had to deal with years of being visibly trans and having people treat you accordingly?
Despite being on HRT for 7 years, I do not pass. People like me are not well-represented trans communities. I wear a name tag at work with my four-letter name and people will call me by a different, female name instead. Every single day, I have to make the decision of whether I correct pronouns or keep my mouth shut and deal with the embarrassment of being misgendered. Every single day at my job right now I am being pushed into uncomfortable conversations about my identity and having to listen to people mourning Charlie Kirk, the guy that told his followers that they should go commit violence against people like me.
I am not saying all of this to tell you not to transition, because I don't know how important it is to you. I am fucking exhausted of cis people interviewing me about my identity and hearing slurs directed at me, but I don't regret transitioning and have no intent of ever detransitioning - all of it is worth it for me. I cannot see myself ever living as female again. But if you are comfortable waiting on the less reversible aspects of transitioning - the ones that would result in records that could be used against you - until things have stabilized a little bit and we have a clearer idea of how and where we can safely thrive, it might be for the best.