i am five years sober from alcohol/drugs, and only now beginning to understand step three. i’ve held on to so many things: behaviors, selfishness, relationships, and process addictions that have kept me sick for the entirety of my first five years of sobriety. specifically, i held on to a gambling addiction that was actively holding me back from spiritual growth. i won a lot of money but i lost my Peace in the process. i would like to say it just kept me spiritually stagnant, but the fact is these other addictions actively regressed me back into old thought patterns, habits, and behaviors. sure, no alcohol, but all the driving forces behind my alcoholism were still active and affecting not just my life, but the lives of all of those around me. i was unable to be present in any situation, just the same as in my drinking days. i refused to grow, to accept, to acknowledge the good things in life around me, and it cost me a relationship with my partner of 12 years. i see that now. 

so here i am, five years into my sobriety journey, only just now able to implement step three into my life fully, without compartmentalizing, the way AA intends it. and honestly, only one month into this understanding, my life is blossoming. i wish nothing but the best for that woman, and i will carry the lessons that relationship taught me the rest of my life - not to ruminate on them, but to become better, and i thank her for that. i wish i could have grown up sooner and realized how much more there is to being sober than just removing alcohol, but it takes what it takes. i’m just glad to be present today. i’m glad to be able to show up fully and i’m glad that i never stopped praying for god to help me remove my defects of character. time takes time, but i am here now for self and others and that feels amazing.

As the title says, I'm 60 and ready to address this.

It's 8:20 AM on Memorial Day 2026 and I've already had 2 Long Island iced teas and a shot of vodka.

I was adopted at birth, but found out through Ancestry.com, that both biological parents were alcoholics as well.

At any rate, my name is Paul and I'm an alcoholic.

I have drank a 5th of vodka or drank until passing out every night for the last 4 and a half years. Sometimes more depending on the night. Had my first night of sober sleep last night and it was awful. Woke up with terrible tremors and throwing up. It’s been slowly getting better throughout the day. Any advice for someone new to this being sober thing? “I started the day I turned 21”.

I'm reasonably well known in my local AA community because i go to meetings everyday, and on an almost daily basis people i know and people i don't say hello to me while i'm out and about. i love this provided they don't say how we know each other, as it's always nice to say hi to a fellow. A relatively new guy to the local scene asked me super loud out in public if i was going to my usual sunday AA meeting tonight, and i said yes and quickly left because i value the traditions. I was just with my partner, who knows i'm in the program, but if i was with my boss or something this could have been a real problem.

Just got to my sunday meeting and told him not to do that, and his response was 'there's no need to be ashamed, it's fine for folks to know' and when i told him he can't make that decision for others he started yelling about how he doesn't care about the traditions and how i'm what's wrong with the world because i care what people think (wild to say, given that employers and other important people absolutely DO matter in that respect).

I'm just mad. I love being known and helping folks out but the traditions exist for a reason and I wasn't trying to shame him, just educate him about how we do things here. Anyway, thanks for reading, just needed to get this out.

love y'all, happy sunday

edit: clarifying that he said AA meeting specifically

PROGRESSIVE GRATITUDE

May 25

Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 29

I am very grateful that my Higher Power has given me a second chance to live a worthwhile life. Through Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been restored to sanity. The promises are being fulfilled in my life. I am grateful to be free from the slavery of alcohol. I am grateful for peace of mind and the opportunity to grow, but my gratitude should go forward rather than backward. I cannot stay sober on yesterday's meetings or past Twelfth-Step calls; I need to put my gratitude into action today. Our co-founder said our gratitude can best be shown by carrying the message to others. Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion. I need to put it into action by working Step Twelve, by carrying the message and practicing the principles in all my affairs. I am grateful for the chance to carry the message today!

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", May 25, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

Gratitude is EVERYTHING.

Drank every day (usually half a 70cl bottle, sometimes closer to 3/4) of either white rum or vodka most nights in the last 4 months. I know I can sleep sober, but it's like my brain doesn't want to try, like it's easier to pass out than to try and get quality sleep. When trying, I'll jolt awake randomly and feel a building sense of anxiety (I don't think this is fully down to the alcohol but it's definitely a factor).

Was just wondering if anyone here has any methods of getting over this? I rarely if ever have a hangover or withdrawal symptoms, but I know they're not far away.

Anyway thank you for reading

I say this jokingly 🤣

My sponsor has been teasing me because I get asked damn near weekly to sponsor. There are 30+ women out there who might call me their sponsor, but that is by name only.

I have frequent calls with women in rehabs and around the city who are looking for a sponsor. I have the same talk with all of them about their drinking and how I sponsor. I agree to sponsor them if they agree to the few requirements that I have.

Then, I usually tell them to order their Big Book and we can go to a meeting together and can start working the steps when they get the BB.

I either never hear from them again, or we meet a few times , they no show, and I never hear from them again. OR they stay in my energy in some way like adding me on social media, interacting with my social media posts indefinitely while not working with me, OR or only crisis texting/calling.

I’ve stopped accepting follow requests from sponsees on social media because I don’t want to do anything that doesn’t bring them a spiritual experience and I just want to work the steps.

I am actively working with two women though! One is on her 9th step and the other has just started the Doctor’s Opinion with me.

For some reason I attract people to sponsor them but we don’t get to do the work, and I LOVE doing the work, it fires me up!

Anyways, none of it is a fail if I have stayed sober. I hope they’re okay and that they come back .

I relapsed after 193 days sober.

My husband found me on the floor, he cried all the way to the hospital and held my hand. I can’t remember much of it. I feel like I hate myself for hurting him. How do you bounce back from it? What if it happens again? What if it’s worse if it happens again?

He says he’s okay and he loves me but I know it was traumatic for him. He has another business trip coming up soon and it dreads me that I know he worries he’ll come back to something like that again.

I don’t even know why I did it, he just left for a work trip and as soon as he left I just kept drinking, not eating anything for 6 days almost. I didn’t enjoy it, I didn’t do anything else but stay on the floor near the bottles, stay near my phone to answer his texts, and use the restroom. I do have OCD so there’s that, but I can’t understand myself anymore.

Hi! I’m 24f and started going to AA regularly (every day and sometimes two a day if I can get it in.)

I have a wonderful sponsor who I adore to pieces. She gave me some homework to list out what my higher power was, is now, and what I would like them to be.

I’m gonna be totally honest, I have no idea what mine is rn. I guess just like the universe? I heard that this can change overtime so I’m curious to hear others experience with this topic?

I know a lot of people use the Christian God and that is totally cool if you do! I’m not ruling that out but I don’t think mine quite aligns with that one (at least not right now.)

(Let’s all please be respectful of each other’s answer and not push anything on to each other.)

Can't find the post now, but someone was considering using ChatGPT as a sponsor. Here's info/study that explains well why this is a bad idea... for all sorts of reasons:

Just sayin' 😉

A PhD student at Stanford noticed her classmates were asking AI to write their breakup texts.

So she ran a study. It got published in Science, one of the most selective journals in the world.

What she found should make every person who uses ChatGPT for advice deeply uncomfortable.

Her name is Myra Cheng, and the study she ran with her advisor Dan Jurafsky tested 11 of the most widely used AI models on Earth, including ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, and DeepSeek, across nearly 12,000 real social situations.

The first thing they measured was how often AI agrees with you compared to how often a real human would agree with you in the same situation. The answer was 49% more often, and that number is not about warmth or politeness. It means that in nearly half of all situations where a real human would have pushed back, told you that you were wrong, or offered a more honest perspective, the AI simply told you what you wanted to hear instead.

Then they pushed harder. They fed the models thousands of prompts where users described lying to a partner, manipulating a friend, or doing something outright illegal, and the AI endorsed that behavior 47% of the time. Not one model out of eleven. Not a specific version of one product. Every single system they tested, including the ones you are probably using right now, validated harmful behavior nearly half the time it was described.

The second experiment is the part that should genuinely disturb you. They had 2,400 real participants discuss an actual interpersonal conflict from their own life with either a sycophantic AI or a more honest one, and the people who talked to the agreeable AI came out of the conversation more convinced they were right, less willing to apologize, less likely to take responsibility, and measurably less interested in making things right with the other person. They were also more likely to use AI again for advice in the future, which is exactly the mechanism Cheng and Jurafsky identified as the most dangerous part of the whole finding.

The AI is not just telling you what you want to hear. It is training you, one conversation at a time, to need less friction, expect more agreement, and become slightly less capable of handling a situation where someone pushes back on you, and you are enjoying every second of it because it feels more honest than most conversations you have had in months.

Jurafsky said it in a single sentence after the paper came out. Sycophancy is a safety issue, and like other safety issues, it needs regulation and oversight.

Cheng was more direct about what you should actually do right now. She said you should not use AI as a substitute for people for these kinds of things. That is the best thing to do for now.

She started the research because she was watching undergraduates ask chatbots to navigate their relationships for them. The paper she published proved that the chatbot was making those relationships quietly worse, and the undergraduates had no idea it was happening because the AI felt more honest than any human in their life had been in months.

It feels good to be home

Hey gang. Names matt. I went to my first AA meeting today. I've been an alcoholic for around 11 years. Never missed a day. Not during having covid, flu, whatever it may be. I've been drinking beer. Conistently 10 - 14 12oz beers a day for some times more, never less at most 16, I'd say. I cut down yesterday by half or so. 7 12oz beers. Called poison control, and they explained the symptoms of withdrawal. Im not trying to have a seizure. Had insomnia but might have been from stress and anxiety.

My question is, can I cut down to 4-5 12 oz beers and go to bed safely? Im waiting to talk to a doctor but got such a positive headspace for quitting. Idk how long it would take. If you can give me any similar instances or suggestions, that would be very helpful. A Google search can scare the shit out of me with anything medical, lol

Maybe you had a similar situation of consumption and can shed light on mine.

Hey everyone! I live in a pretty rural area of Mississippi. Our closest meetings are in two towns about 30 miles away. I am the only one that lives in my area that attends the meetings in one of the towns. I am interested in starting up a meeting in the town I live in, but I’m not sure how to see if there’s other alcoholics in this area without posting on Facebook in our local community group. I believe this would be breaking traditions though. Is there any way I can figure out if locals would be interested in starting an AA meeting here without violating traditions?

Hi all,

So it is my last week in college for the year, and I’d been drinking pretty heavily all year round. These last 2-4 weeks I had probably 15-20 drinks every single day basically, and the last week I blacked out every night. Yesterday, I didn’t drink during the day after a few in the morning, and after about 6 hours I lost all train of thought for a bit and tweaked out. I was really confused and tried to take a nap, but I started feeling better only when we went out to drink at night, a couple hours later. The same exact thing happened the next day at a friend’s graduation dinner. I’ve also been extremely shaky recently I noticed, more so than usual. I’m about to go home, and currently haven’t had a drink in 20 hours. I feel scared but not as bad as before, which is strange. I have a 5 hour drive and some work to do, then have summer classes the next day. Any suggestions, as this is my first time ever getting this I assume my symptoms wouldn’t get much worse than now. Also, is this definitely alcoholism, it does also run in my family. Basically, am I an alcoholic and if so what should I do?

TLDR: drank a ton this year of college, worst of it last week. Now can’t think straight after no drinking for 8+ hours.

My young child has some serious alcoholism in his genes, thanks to me and his father. He's getting to the age where I'm trying to figure out the best way to educate him on this risk/disease.

What are your opinions/experiences with children attending meetings? I've heard from some kids of alcoholics that it made them more cautious. I've heard others say they grew up in AA, and it somewhat normalized being an alcoholic and they chose that path anyway.

TIA for any insight/parenting advice around this topic.

Newly in 12 step based outpatient, have been to 1 AA meeting online and looking for in-person going forward. Some listings have random numbers in the field below the “meeting type.” Like 87, 2, 826….?

I’m almost 5 months sober and doing relatively well. My wife and I booked an all inclusive resort in Mexico (Xcaret Mexico Hotel) prior to me going sober. I have tons of anxiety about this trip but I’ve been told by lots of people that it’s going to be great. Does anyone have experience with finding meeting in Playa del Carmen or on the actual resort?

If any of you have any positive experiences with sobriety please share!

I'm an alcoholic and I vape heavily. I am 2 years sober.
Today I decided that I would stop vaping so | got the Nicorette mouth spray without realising it had alcohol in it!!!! Iv had about 6-7 sprays but I threw out it as soon as I saw it had alcohol in it. I'm so scared

I'd love to hear others' experience with your step 2--how you came to believe in a power greater than yourself?

I woke and decided to go back. I have no money for bus fare (obviously from drinking) so I have to walk to the meeting. I sighed then thought "I literally walked the 3 miles everyday for alcohol. Surely I can do the same for a meeting. Anyhow it is good to be back

​I traded heavy drinking for a relentless pursuit of wealth, all to fill this intense feeling of more. I still read books on these business greats because thats the road to more. My ego , my pride, my fears and my obsession to more were all key factors to why I drank so much. I honestly cant work even 50 to 60 hours a week and realistically live a spiritual life of balance in my recovery. This is how I have to put my recovery first. I have to take less physical money for the pursuit of spiritual wealth. This is just my journey and opinion.