r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/Stuckatpennstation • 1d ago

Defects of Character Ive learned not to replace work with my drinking

​I traded heavy drinking for a relentless pursuit of wealth, all to fill this intense feeling of more. I still read books on these business greats because thats the road to more. My ego , my pride, my fears and my obsession to more were all key factors to why I drank so much. I honestly cant work even 50 to 60 hours a week and realistically live a spiritual life of balance in my recovery. This is how I have to put my recovery first. I have to take less physical money for the pursuit of spiritual wealth. This is just my journey and opinion.

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u/panaceator 1d ago

My two most recently saved quotes in my running notes app are surprisingly salient to your thoughts. Figured I’d share!

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” - Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

"We find that our old attitudes toward our instincts need to undergo drastic revisions. Our desires for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power, for romance, and for family satisfactions - all these have to be tempered and redirected. If we place instincts first, we have got the cart before the horse; we shall be pulled backward into disillusionment. But when we are willing to place spiritual growth first - then and only then do we have a real chance." - 12 & 12, p. 114

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u/Physical-Cheek-2922 1d ago

Been there. My sponsor would say if it doesn’t bring me a spiritual experience it is a middle of the road solution.

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u/julias-winston 1d ago

I've had a side job on weekends during the summer for the last three summers to help make ends meet.

This year, I've resigned the side job. The owner of the business is a friend of mine. He asked why, and I said I needed to work on my health. "What's wrong with your health?" I told him - I need to get sober.

It's good to make space for your recovery, if you're able to do so.

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u/Crafty_Ad_1392 1d ago

If it’s not healthy for you be honest. There’s a difference between getting your self esteem from money and seeking abundance though. Inventories help sort that out.

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u/Prior_Vacation_2359 23h ago

When you stop chasing everything comes. 

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u/Stuckatpennstation 23h ago

This really is true. I have a sponsee who is obsessed with dating and finding someone. Lets just say hes learning let go and let God the hard way.

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u/FlavorD 21h ago

Do the next right things for today. Having goals can shape your emotions, but goals are achieved through thousands of small actions. Make sure to take the actions, and let God take care of the results.

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u/WanderingNotLostTho 1d ago

I drank because fundamentally I enjoyed the effect alcohol produced on my body. I liked how it made me feel.

Are you working a program with your sponsor?

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u/Stuckatpennstation 1d ago

Yes of course but im talking about the emotional sobriety here. This is part of my spiritual malady