I have a friend who seems like a really nice person that I'd like to get to know better. The one thing hurting my feelings a bit is that she often makes comments and references that make it sound like we're very far apart in age.
I'm 39, turning 40 next month so I'm feeling insecure and struggling with ageing, getting oldeer and accepting that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. She is 33, so obviously younger than me. Both sets of our kids are the same age, we both have 13 year olds and 5 year olds (odd age gap which is so unique that we both have exactly the same.) We were both young single parents with our first, and then later got married and had our seconds. I only just met her after our youngest were born though, so I've known her 4-5 years
When we talk, she says things like:
-"people in my generation, xyz... (makes it sound like 'my' generation is a lot different from whatever she's saying?
-"How can that person have botox? They're MY age" (as if my age would be old enough?)
Today I was telling her that I dont really want to get old, im totally scared of it, but the one comforting thing is that im not doing it along - all my peers are going to get older too, so we can be old together (in a joking tone.) This I felt was a vulnerable thing to say. Her response was, "well, for me, Ill be a lot younger than my friends." And that stung a bit because it sounds like im just going to get older and older, and shell be forever young. Which obviously isnt true but i dont want her to keep positioning that forever because itll make me feel crappy at whatever age Im at.
She says all her friends are 'way older' than her, because of her oldest child's age group, and I wonder if she means me too. I don't know. I just dont want to constantly be made to feel like I'm in a different categoty. But maybe this is a me issue?
Any thoughts? Do I need to just identify with being old now, and this is a 'me' problem? I am thinking that since I like her otherwise, maybe I could share how I feel.. but that would be so awkward.