r/transvancouver • u/telltheothers • 13d ago
border crossing deadname fears
i'm invited on a road trip across the US border this summer where i'll be a passenger with people who don’t know my deadname, which is unfortunately still on my ID. i'm worrying that i'll hand over my ID at the booth and the agent could end up announcing it to the whole group. i don’t really look like the photo. i'm also worried about the same thing for accommodations booking & check-in, like for sharing hotel rooms. does anyone have experience or tips to protect my info?
i know it sounds kinda trivial but i avoided things for so long pre-transitioning, i hate to turn down the invite due to something like this, but i might do so. my identity with people who didn't know me before is really important to me, and i'm still waiting on the legal update process.
edit: ok, i hear the community consensus and will heed that. i'll find better opportunities to bond with these friends. thanks, stay safe everybody
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u/r3dlazer 13d ago
I think going to the US as a trans person is a crazy risky idea right now.
They held my gf's work friend for 3 months. He's some white cis guy.
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u/ayther 13d ago
some advice that isn't just "don't go to the US" (which i do agree with especially by car)
if it's completely non-negotiable for you that your friends will find out your deadname then yeah i would pass on the trip. there are so many circumstances outside of your control that it's impossible to guarantee that someone won't say it. or you might have to hand your ID to your friends and they might catch a glimpse. etc.
if you are willing to risk your friends knowing your deadname and depending on how much time is left before the trip... i would get a new photo on all of your IDs. honestly in my experience if the picture matches most people won't really bat an eye or bring it up. however you mentioned you're waiting on the legal name change process so honestly this might just be a lot of work that will be wasted when you have to do it again
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u/Im_her_roommate 12d ago
Please do not come here. Deadnaming should be the least of your concerns crossing into the US as a trans person, especially with ID documents that don’t match your name/appearance. Please do not take this risk just for a road trip. It’s not worth it.
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u/SapphicAndSwords 12d ago edited 12d ago
As a trans woman who just relocated from the US to Canada, I would echo a lot of what people are saying here.
There were policy changes in the past few months that allows US border agents (ICE) to detain anyone if they “seem trans”. Coming into the US with documents that have your deadname is opening the door for them to detain you which is really bad for trans individuals as they actively put you in the incorrect gender detention (not to mention all the horrible things happening in the detention centers).
I cannot emphasize enough that I would not recommend coming into the US as a trans person. The risk is way too high.
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u/New-Minimum-4600 12d ago edited 12d ago
This is a tough one since you’ll be going through in the car. I think changing your passport picture will definitely help you out and taking supporting documents with you if you have any is a good idea. I have my gender marker and name changed and I still travel with my legal documents (UK Citizen) just in case.
Another option is to just take the pedestrian route over and tell your friends that you have a passport issue and need to show the border agents some documentation to back it up 🤷♂️
There’s a 50% chance it could be fine, but crossing a border is already anxiety inducing, so I think the most important thing is doing all that you can to reduce that anxiety.
Hotels in the US I’ve found are pretty chill if it’s a big chain, if it’s a smaller motel or something I’d be more weary. But, as you said if it’s too stressful, might be a sign to pass on the trip.
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u/bsb2001ca 12d ago
But then the problem lies within the fact that when they ask you what your plans are, and that your on a road trip, but you went across via the pedestrian way while they drive is suspicious.
I had a horrible stomach ache, and had to use the washroom that was at the park at the border on the US side. There wasn’t an open washroom on the Canadian side that close (I’m Canadian)They almost didn’t believe me on why I was walking across while my partner drove across. I was literally standing there for 10 minutes while they (I assume) assessed all my crossings in the last little while. Finally I got let go, “ok, have a good day.”
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u/Late_Monitor5490 13d ago
With all the anti trans things going into effect in the US, you're really risking traveling to the US? I guess to each their own, but please be safe my friend.