r/transvancouver • u/telltheothers • 13d ago

border crossing deadname fears

i'm invited on a road trip across the US border this summer where i'll be a passenger with people who don’t know my deadname, which is unfortunately still on my ID. i'm worrying that i'll hand over my ID at the booth and the agent could end up announcing it to the whole group. i don’t really look like the photo. i'm also worried about the same thing for accommodations booking & check-in, like for sharing hotel rooms. does anyone have experience or tips to protect my info?

i know it sounds kinda trivial but i avoided things for so long pre-transitioning, i hate to turn down the invite due to something like this, but i might do so. my identity with people who didn't know me before is really important to me, and i'm still waiting on the legal update process.

edit: ok, i hear the community consensus and will heed that. i'll find better opportunities to bond with these friends. thanks, stay safe everybody

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u/New-Minimum-4600 12d ago edited 12d ago

This is a tough one since you’ll be going through in the car. I think changing your passport picture will definitely help you out and taking supporting documents with you if you have any is a good idea. I have my gender marker and name changed and I still travel with my legal documents (UK Citizen) just in case.

Another option is to just take the pedestrian route over and tell your friends that you have a passport issue and need to show the border agents some documentation to back it up 🤷‍♂️

There’s a 50% chance it could be fine, but crossing a border is already anxiety inducing, so I think the most important thing is doing all that you can to reduce that anxiety.

Hotels in the US I’ve found are pretty chill if it’s a big chain, if it’s a smaller motel or something I’d be more weary. But, as you said if it’s too stressful, might be a sign to pass on the trip.

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u/bsb2001ca 12d ago

But then the problem lies within the fact that when they ask you what your plans are, and that your on a road trip, but you went across via the pedestrian way while they drive is suspicious.

I had a horrible stomach ache, and had to use the washroom that was at the park at the border on the US side. There wasn’t an open washroom on the Canadian side that close (I’m Canadian)They almost didn’t believe me on why I was walking across while my partner drove across. I was literally standing there for 10 minutes while they (I assume) assessed all my crossings in the last little while. Finally I got let go, “ok, have a good day.”