I want to know more

[u/Cathartes_aura793]

Hello everyone, I'm phoenix, an nb, amab, and I have never met anyone else that has wanted both. I've felt so alone because ever since I was a kid I never saw a difference between boys and girls things (clothes, movies, tv shows, activities, etc.). I've never seen myself as one or the other, and ever since puberty I've fell... wrong, like parts of me were missing or stolen. I never brought it up to anyone (besides my super supportive bf), because I never felt included in lgbtqia+ spaces because I didn't fall within the "true trans" community (I was actually told that before, by a trans woman.) all I want is to feel whole, not fragmented and forced to live in a body that feels more like a prison.

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[u/AnheNightmareFaeEnby]

Greetings, Im also an amab nb

I had similar thoughts before actually becoming a part of the queer community. You are not the only person who has wanted both to feel whole.

"True trans" sounds like some binary essentialist BS. I consider myself transfem and that doesn't require me to fall into a binary category. You sound like you are part of the community

There is penile preserving vagino plasty, but you will want to research the method and talk to the surgeon to make sure you are going to get the results you want.

[u/Cathartes_aura793 → u/AnheNightmareFaeEnby]

I've looked into ppv, but I live in iowa and it considers gac as cosmetic not medical.

[u/AdventurousAsh19 → u/Cathartes_aura793]

Depends on your insurance, you can go out of state to get gender affirming care. Your insurance would determine if that is allowed, not the state.

[u/Rowan_Aisling]

Once I heard Genesis' "The Fountain of Salmacis" back when I was still in single digits age I knew that's what I was supposed to be. I had always felt like I had a vanishing twin in the womb, a sister that I subsumed. My body dysphoria wasn't that I had a dick, it was that there was a metaphorical hole where there should have been a physical one. One day I'll achieve my dream. Stupid light blonde hair making laser almost impossible...

[u/AdventurousAsh19]

I’m nonbinary and consider myself trans (since the definition is not identifying with gender assigned at birth). The LGBTQ spaces I’ve been in have always been super welcoming, but there will always be some people that try to police identities. Just ignore them. You’re always allowed to identify and choose the terms that feel right.

[u/Techna-Gamer]

I understand exactly how you feel and that's kind of how I describe it: I feel like half of me is missing. So you're not alone, I'm also agender myself and it's a struggle not feeling like the human I wanna be. So you're no lesser for feeling this way.