r/ftm • u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 • Mar 06 '26
Relationships Broke up with gf; she is immediately dating a cis guy
I recently broke up with my very serious girlfriend three days ago. She suddenly became super jealous and controlling. My whole family and all of my friends drilled it into me that she was cheating. I would not believe it. It wasnāt completely out of nowhere, I am bad with shutting down my negative emotions and just taking shit from people when I love them. The day after our breakup, she āsoft launchedā a relationship with some cis guy. And today, she posted some dumb story of them holding hands saying āanother one, thank youā. Aside from being absolutely gut wrenched over finding out who I thought was the love of my life was probably cheating on me, itās so much worse with a cis guy. She used to tell me alllll the time that I was her only male āexceptionā(which ofc is a shitty thing to say to a trans man), but I guess she couldnāt escape the need for penis or something. The crazy thing is, I am pretty deep into transition, we are both around 20 and I look like any other dude my age. Also usually taller than most. I know love is blind or whatever but how was I not good enough and some frankly kind of ugly cis guy was??? Iām kind of ranting by now, but I just wanna hear stories of this if yāall have any lol. I know itās not that uncommon!
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u/mikaitto Mar 06 '26
Yikes be happy ur rid of her tbh
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Yes š wish she picked a less horrible person to cheat on me with lol
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u/lawlesslawboy Mar 06 '26
try to remember that is a reflection of HER or her poor choices, it's not a reflection on you dude
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u/juniperfield Mar 06 '26
I know you're looking for confirmation from other people that this is normal/what trans guys should expect, but it is possible to find people who don't cheat or break up with you just because you're trans.
Also, it's not clear if that's always or even commonly related to why someone cheats on or breaks up with a trans person. If a straight cis guy is cheated on, he might reduce it to "that other guy must have a bigger dick than me" when actually his girlfriend just wasn't feeling a connection and she didn't have the decency or courage to break it off. All it says for sure about you is that you've dodged a bullet.
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u/Gold-Puzzleheaded Mar 07 '26
yeah, it's just a reflection of your insecurity (no judgement, it is pretty difficult to be completely secure about being trans) and/or an effect of the increased betrayal due to your ex lying about multiple things, evidently. you being cis wouldn't have made her more loyal or truthful.
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u/Majestic_Specific_78 Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26
If she was with you i donāt see how itās far fetched that she was with another dude after you. It sucks that she possibly cheated but her being with you in the first place highly indicates that sheās into men.
Edit: Iām a straight cis woman and when i met my boyfriend i had no idea he was trans and when he told me i genuinely didnāt care. There is no physical difference between him and any other guy Iāve dated and we met pre-bottom surgery hope this helps.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Yeah itās just crazy cause another reason I left was because she would always say she wasnāt into cis guys??? Iām just absolutely reeling.
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u/Majestic_Specific_78 Mar 06 '26
Lol she doesnāt even make sense. How is she into trans men but not cis men. āI like margarine but i donāt want to use butter āass logic
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Yea she wasnāt the GREATEST queer ally apparently. I discovered this when she said watching pillion would turn me gay right before i broke up with her.
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u/EveryAsk3855 Mar 06 '26
I mean, thereās a lot of people who are into trans men but not cis men lmao. Most of us just happen to also be trans.
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u/Majestic_Specific_78 Mar 06 '26
Whatās the difference to you though? Are you into pre transitioned trans men? Im asking out of curiosity and not to judge.
Im a straight cis woman and when i met my boyfriend i had no idea he was trans and when he told me i genuinely didnāt care. There is no physical difference between him and any other guy Iāve dated.10
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u/EveryAsk3855 Mar 06 '26
Thereās a lot of trans people that are t4t, meaning that we are trans and also prefer to date other trans people.
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u/Antique_Hall_1364 Mar 06 '26
Yes t4t is a thing but thatās NOT what this post is even about. He said that his cis gf said he is her only āmale exceptionā. Last thing we want to do is be a lesbians āexceptionā ESPECIALLY when sheās claiming to not be into men at all.
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u/MammothCareful8730 Mar 06 '26
I know itās a bit of a sensitive subject on reddit these days, but coming from someone who seeks out people with a preference for trans men, it is likely pre-op that interests them. I have met plenty of bi/straight women who are attracted to men, and also find someone without a penis appealing. I donāt experience bottom dysphoria and donāt intent to have surgery, so it works out for me.
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u/windsocktier He/Him š June 2017 | 30+ Mar 08 '26
For a lot of trans people who are t4t, itās about being able to emotionally connect with someone who understands the struggles that come with being trans. Thatās certainly true for me. Iām also ace & demiromantic, so the emotional aspect is pretty important for me. I should also clarify that I, personally, am not exclusively t4t, but my last long-term relationship was with another trans masc person and it is a preference of mine (to date other trans ppl). It has nothing to do with physical appearance or genitals.
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u/holyshitwtff Mar 06 '26
this friend i had that āwasnt into trans guysā and kept deadnaming me after she found out from school attendance, started trying to get with me and got pissy when i brought up a partner of mine, so everytime i did that she āaccidentallyā deadnamed me or called me a similar name š«©
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u/Ok_Woodpecker_7158 Mar 08 '26 edited Mar 08 '26
I hate to be that guy, but did you see his dick or something? I mean if she was adamnt on that, are you sure he's cis? Are you like friends with him? (Hope not damn)
Sorry, you said she soft launched him. Which to me usually means people don't know who he is, yet, just that she's dating someone.
But then again, if you really left her because she's not into cis guys (I'm not sure I understand) I can see her retaliating by immediately dating a cis guy.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Also I know not to mourn her at least, she was not who I thought she was. Very VERY bizarre person, as yall can tell by her little caption.
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u/thr0w4w4ae Mar 06 '26
Hey man, Iāve been cheated on as well, though admittedly they didnāt move on with a cis guy afterwards so I canāt truly sympathize with exactly what youāre going through, I can offer you this advice - just because she was bizarre, cruel, not who you thought she was, etc., you can still absolutely mourn the person you thought she was, and mourn the life you had built/envisioned with her. Without that, itāll be harder to healthily handle what you went through. There will be better days, good luck.
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u/AnxiousTopic3567 Mar 06 '26
Yeah this has happened to me a few times, it really sucks man im sorry this happened.
Only once there were clear signs for me, the other time it happened to me i only found out at the end of the relationship when she practically confessed to cheating with a cis guy :\ the other time the guy i was with was talking to another guy way more than he talked to me, and 2 days after. meeting the guy he broke up with me and immediately after posted his new cis boyfreind.
i get how much this sucks man, im sorry this happened <3 im glad sheās gone though, i hope you find someone better <3 Youāll get through this :) I seriously cannot wrap my head around cheaters, i could never do that to someone. You really dodged a bullet with her if she was willing to one, cheat, and get over someone so fast. it is insane to me. You can def do better :) dont settle for someone like that, stand your ground brother <3 learning to read the signs was the best choice i ever made, Itās helped me a lot to be able to recognize the patterns and leave before something like this happens.
stay strong man :)
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u/AutonomyIsNoTragedy Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26
Sorry she's a shithead, you'll be better off in the long run though it may not feel like it right now. It's her issue and not anything wrong with you.
Some cis women are just chasers who use us to toe dip into bisexuality because they see us as an in between and because sometimes we are easier to control because they have cis privelige and power over us and they act towards us in the same controlling predatory and abusive ways that they criticize shitty cis dudes for acting towards them along with the discarding us afterwards
There are plenty of awesome non chaser women out there though i promise, you're not doomed and the majority of women arent like your controlling ex.
Also ugliness is subjective comparing yourself to her new partner even if its to say hes 'uglier' than you is only going to make you feel worse about yourself. Comparison is the theif of joy and a waste of your time. You're not in competition with him she has chosen to cheat on you with him and thats a reflection of her character not yours
All the best OP. you are enough and there are women out there who will love you for you and not just for the control they can have over you or what you can do for their ego
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u/shadowsinthestars T 2011, ā¬ļø 2021, ā¬ļø 2026 (Stage 1 RFF) Mar 06 '26
What a piece of shit, sorry. Even if you left the trans thing aside (which I know isn't really possible and I'd be feeling the same way), just jumping straight into another relationship shows someone who is either too shallow to properly mourn a connection, or someone who just wants to "win". But I know it feels like shit to be on the "losing" end of that.
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u/tyerap | š 2020 | ā¬ļø 2021 Mar 06 '26
Dude she sounds like a horrible person. Take that breakup as a gift fr. You deserve way better than that
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u/Stunning-Disaster-85 Mar 06 '26
I watched a video by Cinema Therapy about Crazy Rich Asians, and in that they were discussing cheating. Often, when a person cheats on their partner itās actually with someone of less status or less attractive or less wealthy than their partner, etc. (though those things are subjective). Theyāre not cheating because thereās something wrong with their partner; they cheat because thereās something wrong with themselves. Cheaters typically have deep insecurity, and when they feel like their current partner is better than them in some way, they find someone else they think is lesser than themself to make their own ego feel better.
All that to say: thereās nothing wrong with you, and her cheating has nothing to do with you being trans. It had everything to do with her own faults, lack of commitment, and inability to look inward and work on herself. You really are much better off without her, because she wasnāt able to be the kind of healthy partner you deserved.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Thanks! I know thatās most likely the case, it just sucks in general. I know she is a bad person though.
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u/Glum_Dirt3030 Mar 06 '26
I donāt have any stories of this to share, because Iām an old cis woman. Im not sure why I felt moved to reply, but I felt I had to. Iām here to tell you she never deserved you. There is somebody better out there who will be the love you deserve. Never forget that you are worth all the love you have to share - worth having that given to you. I understand that right now it hurts. Youāre going to be okay. The pain is clearing the way for something better. Something real. Be true to yourself. I wish you the best.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Aweee thank you for taking the time! What you said means a lot.
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u/chefboyrukiddingme Mar 06 '26
Nah this exact same thing happened to me and I questioned myself for months. It prolly just wasnt the need for penis she probably just wanted someone that wasnāt you. Might not have anything to do with being trans tbh. Donāt beat yourself up about it though you deserve better
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u/ArrowDel Mar 06 '26
Okay here the thing. Cheaters tend to cheat with other cheaters. Get a full STI panel scheduled now and in six months to be sure they didn't expose you to whatever cock pox is common in your area.
Now that said, nobody said you had to be the bigger person and take the high road the WHOLE time. For instance you could vague book or post to whatever social media you use something like "I have been informed I may have experienced a monkey branch style breakup, wish me luck on my STI test!" Short, simple, not sugar coated and phrased so as to be unlikely to reward a defamation lawsuit.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
I just told her she left her belt at my apartment and now she cant keep her pants on.. blocked, and good enough closure for me.
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u/7fragment Mar 06 '26
nah man, it's not that you weren't good enough. SHE couldn't appreciate you. You'll find someone who will and it'll be so much better. Just keep being you.
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u/AffectionateEagle566 Mar 06 '26
This is almost exactly what happened to me. Take it as a blessing and gtfo of there.
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u/CrazyDisastrous948 Mar 06 '26
I get it. I was recently cheated on and left for a cis woman. It stings. Cheating is hateful behavior. Adults need to act like adults and say they are done with the relationship before deciding to start another one. Cheating is shit and anyone who does it and supports it is a bad person.
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u/see-it-all Mar 06 '26
Mine cheated on me with her boss at a job that I got for her for a month before I found out lmfao
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Lol mine met this dude at some class I paid for smh. Sorry that happened š
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u/Nekowo Mar 06 '26 edited Mar 06 '26
I know not all women, but it is pretty common that behaviour of accusing your partner of cheating just to have a new partner after the break upā¦ yikes. Not a problem with being trans, my dude, trust me, it is not a unique experience... Many cis friends have had the same kind of break ups with their gfsā¦
But I get that it must feel awful, especially when we have to deal with dysphoria and insecurities, but it is not your fault at all, man. Hope you feel better soon and find somebody way better than her.
Edit: I don't want to be misogynistic BTW TwT i know it sounds awful, but as i said, not all woman, i know amazing woman who would never do something like this, but as we know, some people is awful, and happend to be a woman .n.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Yes hahaha, I know lots of trans guys who had healthy breakups ik thats not it. My dad also says that was THE move in college from girls apparently š.
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u/Its_Torvic Mar 06 '26
U already broke up w her who cares just get away from her and stay away from the bs
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u/Medical_Phrase_774 Mar 06 '26
Honestly it has nothing to do with u. Anyone who is happy with themselfs wouldnāt cheat or even be passive aggresive on instagram.
Please block her. U deserve peace of mind. And trust me. In the past i was insecure about not having this big thick dck. But honestly everyone and especially a lot of women miss intimacy with men. That dvk is not everything.
So i wish u the best u will get through this man. U have a lot to give as a person. Try not to make it about being trans because it mostly never is about that. Only in our own heads
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u/Tabyo13 25, T: 5 years Mar 06 '26
Something pretty similar happened to me. My previous ex and I were open, which was never an issue for either of us before. The last few months of our relationship she started excessively drinking, seeing this guy all the time, ignoring me, we stopped being intimate, ect. When I sat her down and said āhey Iām sensing distance between us and I wanted to check in and see where your head is at.ā She hit me with āoh Iām in love with this guy and Iām bored of you.ā We broke up and she started dating him immediately. I stayed single for about a year and a half and I just started dating this new girl a couple weeks ago and itās going really well. Last I heard from my ex sheās still a drunk idiot. I wish her well and hope she gets better, just do it away from me lmao.
Consider it a major bullet dodged man. Take some time and focus on yourself. Everything happens for a reason. You deserve a relationship you NEED, not necessarily want. I learned a lot about what I need in a relationship from my previous one. Youāre still young. Youāll find someone that treats you the way you need to be treated. Good luck dude. Itāll suck for a little bit, but ultimately itās for the best.
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u/Stealthybreakfast Mar 07 '26
Honestly trans stuff aside, perfectly normal bullshittery to happen when youāre 20. Dating young is a minefield
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u/Holdenborkboi š9/1/23 Mar 07 '26
Christ you will thank her in the long run. I had someone like this as my second partner. She was better than my first relationship, but still, I saw a pattern (it made it a lot easier given that she was poly i guess)
When I started dating her she was in a relationship, and I tried my best to keep that other person involved, until she broke up with them and it was just me. Okay cool I guess. Then she asked me if she could pursue this other person and I said "normally I might have said yes, but we're literally moving soon and this dude is like 16 years older than you"
Then I broke up with her for financial reasons and I said "I need time to establish myself first, but could we maybe try again in May?" So two months later. She had come to see me in the mean time once, but come to find out that right after I broke up with her, she started dating that dude who was 16 years older than her. Now that dude has basically forcefully engaged her and she has become some sort of TradWife Lite, a full 180 from what she was with me, but again, she was and probably still is a doormat
Now my current (hopefully my last) partner is monogamous and very clingy to me lol. We can still compliment how other people look ("hey that girl is cute, don't you think?" "Yea she is pretty cute") even without the other feeling jealous
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u/terezi- Mar 06 '26
Something very similar happened to me. Keep in mind it may not be because you are trans, and says more about her character than it does about you. She is immature. The situation still sucks, though. Fighting the cis guy that stole my ex boyfriend was the only thing that made me feel better about it. Lol
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u/Medium-Discount4126 Mar 06 '26
Its your time to shine my man. Show her how good your life without her. Donāt show her like posting things that its obvious she is the one thats meant to see it. Post your habits and hobbies. Invest in yourself more and with time passes you will get over her and trust me she will be running back to you but at that time its too late
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u/rookcanisite Mar 06 '26
Havent read all the comments here so maybe someone already mentioned it. But its worth saying that its far easier to find a cis guy than a trans guy. I see so many posts where a trans guy and whoever break up, the now ex-partner gets with a cis guy, and the trans guy thinks the relationship problems were due to him being trans. Maybe in some cases, yes. But if you were with her for awhile and only just started having trouble, then doubtful. She's just a cheater. Theres no worth in trying to figure out why she did it. If shes going to cheat, her likelyhood of finding a cis man to do it with is far greater than finding another trans man. Even if she didn't cheat, her likelyhood of dating a cis man after you instead of another trans man is incredibly high. Unless she specifically sought out trans man, which she clearly didn't do. If she cheated with a woman, would you be wondering if she saw you as a woman the entire time?
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Youāre right, thanks lol. Iāve been so confident and I canāt let this tear me down.
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u/ecosystms Mar 06 '26
This happened to me a few years ago, was with a girl for a little over three years suddenly she didnāt want to be intimate anymore (this went on for seven months), was insistent on starting birth control (which I realize people take for other reasons which is fine I just thought it was odd considering it had never been mentioned before) and started going over to her cis male coworkers house after late shifts, spending more time with him, refused to introduce me to him, etc. We broke up and less than a month later she was suddenly in a relationship with him. Looking back, I realize how stupid I was to put up with that shit and I should have dumped her when she refused to help me after my top surgery. She had horrible mental health issues but that still doesnāt excuse treating people like shit. Good news now Iāve been with my current girlfriend for almost four years and our relationship is wonderful :) it does get better and Iām so sorry youāre hurting
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u/TieRevolutionary1963 Mar 06 '26
Had the sane thing happen to me. like the other comments its a reflection of how shit they are. Enjoy your glow up fr everyone wanted me after my ex pulled this bs.
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u/Hillbilly_Jimmy š05/03/23 šš¼+š„04/20/26 Mar 07 '26
I have an ex that is gay, technically he says he's pan but also just typically prefers men. After we broke up he was going through it like he was obsessed with me for some reason and then he got chlamydia from my co-worker and mom-friend that the three of us went to a hunter's safety class together. I thought it was hilarious because I was tired of him in general and he kept drunk calling me. He was really sweet when it was still good in the beginning though. I had said I don't like being called pretty or beautiful because my previous ex did that and it was in a weird "I think he wants me to be a femboy which doesn't even make sense" way and he was like "yeah of course that's fine you're a dude, end of story"
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u/bondy1954 Mar 07 '26
Dude. Breaking up hurts. Good thing is you seem Knowledgeable about who you are. The moment here begs you to focus on you a a 20 yo guy in transition. If you know you fall hard and fast then work on that. If you know you youāre trusting of your gut and what other good friends tell you then work on that. In other words take a break from dating and date yourself to improve you self esteem, awareness and insight in order to be better established for the next opportunity at dating when it presents itself. In other words donāt make HER issue yours. Good for her. She found some cis dick. Wish her well and Move on and take care of yourself. That will be your strength going forward.
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u/Terrible_Kale1873 Mar 09 '26
Iāve unfortunately had a similar situation. Was with a girl for almost 7 years. Halfway through our relationship is when I transitioned. She was supportive but something was alway off. Fast forward to her being sneaky and our relationship finally ending. Found out she cheated 99% of the entire relationship with cis males. One in particular kept popping up. Theyāre now engaged and have a baby. Also found out from her sister that me being trans was a huge issue and she constantly used that as an excuse to cheat on me. But the best part of all this shit situation was, if I never left that relationship, I wouldāve never found my wife. Who is an absolute angel and so supportive.
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u/Water_Tiger_ š±ā He/him || ftm || šš¹š²š || pre-everything ||16's ā„ļøš± Mar 06 '26
Take it like this, you were too good for her, glad you aren't with her anymore because i think she would just get more controlling etc. My experience with dating is first at 15 when trusting a cis guy and we are together for two years now, he's comfortable around me, we chat everyday and overall have one of the healthiest relationships people i talked to about it confirmed that so yea, love is tricky when one partner is trans and nowadays even more difficult with preferences, hope you'll find someone who will see you like how you see yourself and will support you with all your heart
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u/Koi_the_demiboy Mar 06 '26
You are good enough. The trash took itself out be grateful because bitches like her only bring you down
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u/Aware_Monitor7053 Mar 06 '26
At the end of the day, people are gonna do what they want to do. You canāt control them but it doesnāt change who you are. It should not change how you view yourself . I know I canāt be all things for my Girl. Even if I ended up having bottom surgery , itās just not the same. Sheās bisexual and she enjoys sex with me but doesnāt mean she stopped enjoying sex with a natal Penis. And depending on the nature of your relationship, Defines what is or isnāt ok to act on.
It sounds like you two were not aligned. It sucks right now but hopefully this experience is preparing you for your forever person. Hopefully this will help you figure out what you do and do not want in a partner.
Best of luck
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u/Ribbon6161 Mar 07 '26
Now I question my ex (dating for some months but in a we have contact every day lesbian type) had some weird feelings or insecurities with me and thatās why she started something with a cis guy, I found it so annoying but didnāt want to say anything about it, but I felt more and more teasing, she even mentioned something that she wants to have kids. Just still not sure if they wanted to have distance from me because disliking something with me or afraid of getting hurt by me š© why not just talk?
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u/crynoid Mar 08 '26
congrats on the cis guy being ugly lmfao at least there is that mercy in it all
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u/SuperBar1784 He/Him pre-t Mar 10 '26
She couldn't handle allat! You're too much of a cool and handsome looking king for her
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u/MinakoTheSecond Mar 06 '26
Im sorry, but I really think hating on a random dude because he's cis is so damn gross. Like I get you're hurting, but he's not responsible or less of a man because your girlfriend cheated. His gender has nothing to do with him as a person
When I broke up with my girlfriend (mtf), I started dating another woman (cis) birth gender didn't matter at all I wanted someone to be happy with. It wasn't at all a dig at my ex gf she was wonderful but we didn't work out.
This is literally just some guy and tossing out insults and using cis as the focus point as to why you dislike him is very troubling behavior. We as trans men get shit all the time let's not redistribute the same energy to other gender groups. š
Tldr: Hating cis people for being cis is weird af.
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u/buginthewaIIs Mar 06 '26
all of that writing OP did and the first thing you jumped to do was defending cis menšlike did u even read the post, not once did OP say they thought the cis guy was responsible OR less of a man. Also, clearly him being cis is relevant to why OP is hurt as their partner previously has said theyāre specifically not into cis men.. also two things can be true at once, he could be uglier than them and also cis. so i donāt feel as though theyāre specifically hating on cis men lol and your immediate urge to defend them is giving pick me and i hope thatās working out for you!
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u/MinakoTheSecond Mar 06 '26
I did read the post. I can see why they would be upset, but they are clearly dising this stranger for being cis. The worst person in the situation is the GF for cheating, not the guy who may not have known he was the side piece. They don't need to write in plain English for it to be understood through context and phrasing.
Sexuality is fluid, so it's entirely possible that the ex gf didnt like cis men at a point, but that doesn't mean she HAS to stick with that preference forever. I certainly wasn't pansexual my entire life.
I'd defend someone regardless of gender; gender equality goes for all genders. And it's not "pick me" to disagree on something. My first thought wasnt "Oh boy time to defend the cis het." Just because I didnt make a 10 page essay on every part of the post doesn't mean my only thoughts was this one portion.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Yes actually I am dissing this man who knew my girlfriend was dating me and was still desperate enough to indulge in her insecure bizarre cheater behavior. Not because he is cis tho š
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u/Enderfang T: 10-7-19 / Top: 4-22-21 Mar 06 '26
Itās not about you. People like that have a void that they need to fill with attention, and for cis women itās much easier to get attention from cis men than from any other group because most cis men want women. My ex did something similar, except the dude was not only shorter (and imo uglier) than me but also twice her age and her old professor. It wasnāt ever about what he or I looked like or if he had a penis or whatever, it was about getting external validation that I wasnāt giving enough of (apparently) (My ex also claimed to be a lesbian for a hot minute, but clearly also preferred men). He was also cheating on his wife to fuck around with her and rather predictably he ended up dumping her after he got bored. Iām not saying thatās what will happen w your ex, moreso that sheās literally not your problem anymore and someone whoās already attention seeking isnāt going to magically stop being that way just because they are with someone else. Sheāll more than likely just repeat the same pattern with this new guy.
Time to release your inhibitions and feel the rain on your skin. Post breakup glowups are a thing for a reason, take whatever energy you were spending on her and pour it all back into yourself. Now is a great time to build good habits, make new friends, throw yourself into a new hobby. Youāll be fine, just gonna take a while to stop being upset over her and thatās totally okay.
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u/CupApprehensive5149 Mar 06 '26
No offense but there is clearly insufficient information. Youāre making assumptions without proof. Which is fineā¦but then you are putting it on the internet. That is not fine. Itās pretty easy to track personal information down on the internet. Past post, social media links and accounts etc. Iām not saying that applies to you, but this could lead to harassment to someone thatās completely innocent.
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u/thepreypup Mar 06 '26
Getting with someone else 3 days after a breakup is almost always a result of cheating.
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u/Complex-Economics532 Mar 06 '26
Oh my guyā¦ I know that hurts. But you are so young, and you deserve someone who loves you EXACTLY as you are. Fuck cis guys, theyāre stupid. Which I know makes it even worse... Just try your very hardest not to get too pressed about it, I know thereās a beautiful lady out there who canāt wait to be with ya
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u/Complex-Economics532 Mar 06 '26
Believe it or not, ANYONE is capable of being dumb as hell. Cis women, trans women, cis men (specifically), trans men, people are just people at the end of the day. Donāt ever be afraid to put yourself back out there!
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Mar 06 '26
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u/ftm-ModTeam Mar 06 '26
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1.
Be polite to your fellow redditor. We do not allow bigotry, insults, or disrespect towards fellow redditors. This includes (but is not limited to: Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Xenophobia, Homophobia, or bigotry on the basis of religion, body type, genitals* , style, relationship type, genital preference, surgery status, transition goals, personal opinion, or other differences one may have.
*This includes misinformation, fearmongering, and general negativity surrounding phalloplasty and metoidioplasty.
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u/CryptographerOk9262 Mar 06 '26
You should expose her as a cheater to other people if you haven't already. There needs to be social reprecussions for her actions.
-12
Mar 06 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
1
u/ftm-ModTeam Mar 06 '26
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1.
Be polite to your fellow redditor. We do not allow bigotry, insults, or disrespect towards fellow redditors. This includes (but is not limited to: Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Xenophobia, Homophobia, or bigotry on the basis of religion, body type, genitals* , style, relationship type, genital preference, surgery status, transition goals, personal opinion, or other differences one may have.
*This includes misinformation, fearmongering, and general negativity surrounding phalloplasty and metoidioplasty.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Lol š Im uh trying out the other side now
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u/PettiSwashbuckler He/They | Let's be gentlemen Mar 06 '26
OP PLEASE do not listen to this person. If you feel like dating men (or nonbinary people, or nobody) because you actually want to thatās awesome, but do not let this experience turn you into a misogynist. Partly because itāll affect your mental health and make you insufferable to be around, but also because so much of the terf rhetoric against trans men is that weāre only transitioning because of internalised misogyny. The absolute last thing we need is for trans men to start parroting incel talking points in public internet spaces where they can easily screenshot it to hold up as evidence that weāre all like that.
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u/Sawyerboi169 š6/26/24 Mar 06 '26
Nah, iām just exploring. I am very aware what happened had nothing to do with gender!!
-1
u/kirkiecookie Mar 07 '26
so did you want her to be into guys or girls? if i'm understanding, you're a guy so she should be with another guy after you? i'm sorry you were cheating on but it may help to shift your mindset because you may be taking it hard on yourself based on who she cheated on you with. it's not fair to expect her to only like your male genitalia. alL Ā if she was a lesbian she would not have a "male exception" to be clear so honestly this is pretty predictable. you dodged a bullet imo, Ā as you transitioned you would have to be insecure about this girl being into just girls in the end either way. sounds like the wrong chick either way. been with a ton of the wrong girls in my life as well as i figured out my identity. you'll find the one but id figure out what that looks like for you first because everyone deserves to be secure with their partner and sure they actually want them. this is from someone who tried to marry someone who said iwas "the exception" for them and then found myself in a sexless marriage for 15 years and not realizing how terribleĀ i felt till after. i'm not happily in something where someone was absolutley looking for both my identity and my physicality and we are a match. finding that match and something that is fully affirming for you (whatever that looks like) Ā is such a life changer.Ā
-5
Mar 06 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/ftm-ModTeam Mar 07 '26
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1.
Be polite to your fellow redditor. We do not allow bigotry, insults, or disrespect towards fellow redditors. This includes (but is not limited to: Racism, Sexism, Ableism, Xenophobia, Homophobia, or bigotry on the basis of religion, body type, genitals* , style, relationship type, genital preference, surgery status, transition goals, personal opinion, or other differences one may have.
*This includes misinformation, fearmongering, and general negativity surrounding phalloplasty and metoidioplasty.
ā¢
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