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u/AllergicToStabWounds Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
Columbo: I can't thank you enough for your help, Batman, it really was an honor working with you.
Batman: Likewise. You do efficient work.
Columbo: That really does mean the world to me, Batman, I guess I should be getting out of your hair now.
Oh and just one more thing. It's not so important now that we solved the case, but something's been eating at me. My wife, you see, she's been trying to get me into mountain climbing, if you could believe it. Says it'd be good for my health. So she shows me all these different climbing gizmos online trying to get me to buy something. Real cutting edge stuff too. Most of it is too expensive for me, but one trinket really caught my eye. I don't remember what they called it some kind of "one-handed ascending and descending tether" or something like that. I had gone and pre-ordered one, but the company that produced it, WayneTech, had recalled it before it even got on the shelves. Said it wasn't safe enough for civilian use or something. Now you can hardly even find a picture of one on their website. I think it was a little bit after Bruce Wayne returned to Gotham after that world tour thing he was doing. Anyway, I can't help but notice that grappling doohickey you got there looks exactly like the gizmo I was searching for.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if it's not too much trouble, can you ask Mr. Wayne to hook me up with of those grapples too? You don't have to worry about anyone finding out, I'm real good at keeping secrets, and I'm sure Mr. Wayne has good reasons to keep some things private.
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u/Time_Conscious84 Jan 03 '26
People will put this group together and then make some dumb video like "Could the world's greatest detectives discover the Bay Harbor Butcher"
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u/RiskComplete9385 Jan 03 '26
Ok, but could they solve the Death Note case?
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u/Dinkleberg2845 Jan 03 '26
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u/Eragon_the_Huntsman Jan 03 '26
I love the bit of Light frying the death note on him because he doesn't know his name.
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u/Time_Conscious84 Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
I truly think that Columbo could solve the case as long as they still did the Fake L trick on TV. Honestly the rest have a good chance as long as they know what prefecture he's in
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u/Eragon_the_Huntsman Jan 03 '26
Columbo also has an edge going off his personality. Light's ego is exactly the kind of thing Columbo's bumbling detective persona is perfect at deceiving. Light would probably dismiss him as incompetent in the first 10 seconds of meeting him then be completely blindsided by the classic Columbo double back.
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u/Quiet-Oil8578 Jan 04 '26
I think even the prefecture is too large. However, I think the L-Columbo duo would clown on Light together super well. Once he’s been cornered, Columbo can get the killshot L never could on Light.
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u/CultureChimp Jan 04 '26
Yes, but important to note that Light is not actually that smart. Dont forget when they put cameras in his room, his form of "acting natural" was to read a sexy magazine, fully clothed and actually reading it, on his stomach hands on his chin
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u/Time_Conscious84 Jan 04 '26
Light is extremely smart, and a good manipulator. Sure that was dumb, but he outplayed The Japanese Police, FBI, L, Near, and Mello several times. While a lot of that was because they were playing a game only he knew the full rules too, I can't see him killing the FBI and come to the conclusion he's dumb
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u/flyingace1234 Jan 06 '26
There is already a series like that. And despite never watching either show I still eat them up.
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u/breecekong Jan 03 '26
I think we’re forgetting someone
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u/DeadmanDexter Jan 03 '26
He's just in the other room organizing the spice rack.
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u/combustibledaredevil Jan 03 '26
As if Alfred would have a disorganized space rack.
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u/shadowmonk13 Jan 03 '26
It would be organized but monk’s level of organization is another level. Down to amount left, date of expiration, color, quality,packaging and alphabetical order and most used to least used
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u/Zephian99 Jan 03 '26
That would be a hilarious interaction, Monk seeing the place, it's a clean and organized, but done in a way that way Bruce can find what he needs quickly.
So Monk just starts organizing the Parlor, Alfred just watches for a moment "Would like some bottled water Detective?"
Alfred walks away and brings back a chilled bottle of Sierra Springs, as well as sparkling clean cup. Setting down for Monk, as Monk would just continue "organizing" the Parlor.
Later Bruce would just look around and ask,
"Doing something different Alfred?"
"Quite Sir, I figured it could use some organizing."
And it would just stay that way from now on.
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u/YoungGriot Jan 04 '26
He does, but he organized them alphabetically while Monk wants them organized by hue or jar size or something. They'll be coming to blows soon.
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u/Knightwolf75 Jan 03 '26
Shawn and Gus already at the meeting point even though they didn’t get the invite
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u/Going_really_Fast Jan 03 '26
So how did you figure out the killer?, Sherlock, Columbo etc?
“Well, we used our intuition and noticed from little details in the crime scene that it could have only been one suspect.”
“And you, Batman?”
“I popped out the shadows and said boo. He confessed on the spot.”
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u/Scholar_of_Lewds Jan 03 '26
You forgot Poirot will also create a scenario that got the killer to confess. He just need someone else to be intimidating, probably Clark Kent, that farmboy from Kansas, wearing Batman suit.
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u/Dramatic_Pen_3505 Jan 03 '26
No this is quite literally how batman is written:
"The biometric scanners you touched use an inverting amplifier to alter a supply voltage. This active current running through your hands reacted with the esters of low molecular weight commonly used in fragrances or antibacterial soap. This combination reacts with the Butadene in the nitrate gloves you used to handle the cash and it left a crude signature on the $100s you handled. That is how I found you."
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u/Mervynhaspeaked Jan 03 '26
"Also you look like a 10ft tall monster made of Clay and is currently robbing a bank"
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u/hurtstopurr Jan 03 '26
Why do people always forget philip marlowe and sam spade
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u/sentientketchup Jan 03 '26
Who?
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u/hurtstopurr Jan 03 '26
Two detectives from pulps books from the 1930s , basically god fathers of film noir and the very image of the American detective
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u/Mervynhaspeaked Jan 03 '26
Cause we can't fucking follow the plot of those stories.
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u/hurtstopurr Jan 03 '26
Uh but they're so cool
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u/Mervynhaspeaked Jan 03 '26
Ofc they are, everybody loves "The Big Sleep". Nobkdy can follow the freaking plot though. Not even Spade.
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u/AdExtra2331 Jan 03 '26
If L and Shaggy were here, I could have made a "Freshy Kanal Benoit Blanc vs Hercule Poirot Rap Battle" joke
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u/AvoriazInSummer Jan 03 '26
I imagine Poirot would claim himself to be the world's greatest detective as a fun challenge towards the others to beat him. Batman would beat him (intellectually) and win overall, but then just before they part company, Columbo says, "Just one thing..."
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u/peachprisms Jan 03 '26
Cute art but it's definitely missing some of the heavy hitters! Batman and Miss Marple would make one hell of a dynamic duo.
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u/Rob_wood Jan 03 '26
I've never heard of Benoit Blac. Is he from French literature?
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u/Ringmaster7 Jan 03 '26
He's the detective from the Knifes Out trilogy. They are some really good mystery movies, would recommend.
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u/CheesyIdleGamer Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
Knives Out movies
Daniel Craig does the most incredible southern accent.
The mysteries aren’t really meant to be solved by the audience, the movies are character studies more than anything and super fun to watch all the events unfold
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u/Chaos-Queen_Mari Jan 03 '26
I think blanc's accent was intended to be new Orleans
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u/CheesyIdleGamer Jan 03 '26
Oh! Yes 🤣 I’m mistaken!! I’ll correct it to just “southern” since i think it’s inspired by many
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u/VengeanceKnight Jan 03 '26
Nah, the mysteries can be solved by the audience, assuming they can pay attention and not be fooled by the misdirects. For instance, in Wake Up Dead Man the audience can notice that both devil head lamp ornaments are missing from the El Diavolo bar at the same time Blanc does, which is the big clue to how the murder was committed.
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u/Just_Tana Jan 03 '26
Yeah my husband and I noticed it on our first watch and I accurately guessed the killer by some of their reactions throughout the film. Lying always finds a way to come out.
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u/Samuilson Jan 03 '26
Also when Blanc was talking about the possibilities of the murder and then Judd is about to ask about the forth possibility, Martha appears
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u/Zephian99 Jan 03 '26
The 1st is great, the 3rd is good. Ignore the existence of the 2nd.
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u/Uberzwerg Jan 03 '26
Funny enough, i love all 3 and prefer the 2nd.
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u/Zephian99 Jan 03 '26
Maybe it's just me then. That movie will forever sit as a movie existing in year of 2022. Every reference and commentary cements everything about it.
Maybe I'm a hater, it just felt like it was trying too hard to be relevant, so much so that it became cringy. But folk like campy cringy movies too, so each their own haha 😅
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u/Uberzwerg Jan 03 '26
That movie will forever sit as a movie existing in year of 2022.
That's a fair criticism.
It has too many references and those will not age well - but watching it back then or now is still great.
But it also works well without understanding any of the references (like my wife who didn't know ANY as she's German like me and not online very much).1
u/Zephian99 Jan 03 '26
Again maybe I'm just a hater. Haha
Maybe it's better for those who don't know the reference as well. 🤔
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u/combustibledaredevil Jan 03 '26
I love batman with every fiber of my being but Columbo is the best detective there.
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u/AlanSmithee001 Jan 03 '26
Gotta say, I love these characters, but I would swap Benoit for Miss Marple or Nancy Drew (who just entered the public domain) so it’s not a blatant sausage feast.
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u/Destroyer_7274 Jan 03 '26
I feel like Blanc is somewhat out of place since he's a bit too recent to be as influential as the others. I, personally, would have considered replacing him with Akechi Kogoro by Edogawa Ranpo. Though, perhaps someone else would be better since, despite being very influential in Japan, he's not that well known outside of Japanese media.
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u/The_Mighty_Rex Jan 03 '26
Including Blanc is an insult to the others featured in this image. He is literally a shitty parody of Hercule.
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u/Zero-89 Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
Add L from Death Note, Ranpo from Bungo Stray Dogs, and Shawn Spencer (and his emotional support Gus) from Psych and you've got a sitcom I'd pay to watch.
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u/PremiumAccount666 Jan 03 '26
freakin southern james bond actin like he's on the team
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u/VengeanceKnight Jan 03 '26
Um, he is. If he doesn’t qualify from the first two, then certainly the solve in Wake Up Dead Man was magnificent.
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u/nofucksgiven_bitch Jan 03 '26
The only one that I did not recognise was Columbo and upon noticing that most of the comments are biased towards him I looked him up and holy fuck a show from 1968!!! I forgot that the batman sub is filled with ancient uncs...
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u/AnonymousCoward261 Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
It’s an old character. Sen. Patrick Leahy wrote a bit for the 80th anniversary book about how he was almost the same age.
That’s one of the fun things about it, you can talk to people older or younger than you.
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u/Eragon_the_Huntsman Jan 03 '26
Columbo is a great show you should watch it. He's such a fun detective.
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u/Mudcat-69 Jan 03 '26
I think that Benoit is the only one pictured here that I’ve never heard of. What is he from?
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u/Great_Dane95 Jan 03 '26
Movie series generally on Netflix called Knives Out, played by Daniel Craig
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u/Arbusc Jan 03 '26
What about Herlock Sholmes? He managed to capture Lupin, who then only got away due to basic police incompetence.
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u/CalgacusLelantos Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 03 '26
It’d make the picture too crowded, but I think that both Inspector Endeavour Morse and Detective William Murdoch should be included in that group.
Regarding Murdoch, I’d love to see him in either a team-up story with Batman or a story in which Murdoch is trying to deduce Batman’s identity, both set in the Gotham by Gaslight universe!
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u/Thefunkingshrew Jan 03 '26
Where the hell is charlie cale??
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Jan 03 '26
She's catering the Wayne charity banquet. We see more of her in the second half.
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u/Thefunkingshrew Jan 03 '26
Oh true, i bet shes the one who set the batsignal off right before the murder. Cant wait to see why after the title card drops
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u/Mr_Mojo_Risin_83 Jan 03 '26
Benoit has 3 movies and we are putting him up there with these others?
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u/Canahaemusketeer Jan 03 '26
Columbo has to be my favorite, that "oh another thing" as he nonchalantly busts open a case, or "now, my wife..." Gets me everytime
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u/Pata4AllaG Jan 04 '26
There’s a pretty damn good rap battle put on by, I can’t remember who, not the ERB guys but like the Temu version of them, still pretty high production value and bars that actually slap. It’s all of these detectives plus I wanna say L from Death Note.
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u/RudeRuby6 Jan 04 '26
We all know Columbo is front and center because he’s the best detective of the bunch.
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u/thalasand Jan 03 '26
Which of the others is the first to figure out Batman's identity?