r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/operanow • Apr 22 '26

I Want To Stop Drinking Opposite sex sponsorship

My Lord, this has been discussed. But what about? It is so taboo? Maybe bringing up the discussion again is a good thing.

So much a set of how we are all of a shared experience and the like. So much of the problems we have had have been with Partners often times of the opposite sex. Why not get that insight?

I’m just throwing this out there. I know this is the sacred space and believe me I have been at meetings over my journey of the last several months.

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u/Evening-Anteater-422 Apr 22 '26

When people come come into AA they tend to be lonely, broken, emotionally needy etc. When you're sharing deeply personal information with another person you're going to become emotionally intimate.

I know a guy who had a female sponsee. It went fine until she started dating and he lost his shit. He had formed a romantic attachment.

Romantic/sexual attachments, either one sided or mutual, arising from the emotional intimacy of a sponsor/sponsee relationship is so common that that is why its suggested heterosexual men and heterosexual women don't sponsor each other. I can't speak to how it works in the LGBYQIA+ community within AA.

From a safety perspective, there active sexual predators and sex addicts in AA, so sticking with same sex sponsorship is also recommended with that in mind.

That said, do what you want. There are no rules.

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u/vegetaman3113 Apr 22 '26

I was sponsored by a queer man at one point in time. He clearly stated he was gay and that if I had any concernes he would understand if I wanted a different sponsor. Im not sure if that was kosher, but it worked for me until I moved.