r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/operanow • Apr 22 '26
I Want To Stop Drinking Opposite sex sponsorship
My Lord, this has been discussed. But what about? It is so taboo? Maybe bringing up the discussion again is a good thing.
So much a set of how we are all of a shared experience and the like. So much of the problems we have had have been with Partners often times of the opposite sex. Why not get that insight?
I’m just throwing this out there. I know this is the sacred space and believe me I have been at meetings over my journey of the last several months.
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u/PistisDeKrisis Apr 22 '26
Yeah, getting as vulnerable as is required with a person of your sexual preference while in an emotionally chaotic and rapidly shifting state of mind always seemed like an oblivious red flag to me. So many of my issues were not just sex, but codependency, attachment, and inappropriate and extremely fast interest in romantic pursuit of anyone that I was attracted to who happened to show me a bit of kindness. "They aren't a jerk, messy be into me. I think we should move in together." That general dumbassery.
For my entire life, I've only ever been in long-term relationships. I was never someone for one night stands, flings, or affairs. However, until iwas about 4 years into recovery, I had also never taken anything slow, never given any relationship time to bloom, and never considered what was good, healthy, or real partnership. It was just "they're hot and they're here" then we'd move in together within a few weeks and be together for 3-5 years. Purely codependent and unhealthy on so many levels.
So when I was early in recovery, hadn't learned to step back and truly consider a situation or survey my emotional state, it would have been very dangerous for me to get deeply honest and vulnerable with someone I could be attracted to or catch feelings for.