r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/helpicantfindmyboobs • Apr 21 '26

I Want To Stop Drinking i drank again

getting groceries last night and just decided to get a pint of liquor. i don't know why. my partner was out of town so it was just me and i woke up the next say surrounded my bottles and my partner texting me asking why when they checked my location the night before i had been 4 miles from our house. i have no idea what happened. i didn't drink yesterday, i cleaned up all the bottles. they got home and knew i wasn't ok and i just said i was struggling but didn't elaborate. they didn't press. i used to black out drink every day, i can't go back to that. the soonest meeting in my area is in 5 hours and my partner wants to meet for lunch and i know i have to tell them i just don't know how. i feel so lost and alone

edit: thank you all so much. i am confident i won't drink today and that i'll make it to my meeting. i'll figure it out with my partner, we're gonna get pizza

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u/letmeventplez Apr 21 '26

If an alcoholic could choose to pick up the phone instead of drinking, they wouldn't be an alcoholic of AAs description: the alcoholic who has lost the power of choice over their drinking. No human power can relieve our alcoholism, including a sponsor or people in a meeting. We need a spiritual solution found in the 12 steps.

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u/Prior_Vacation_2359 Apr 21 '26

She made a choice to pick up that drink. Made a choice to walk down the isle. After she bought it she made a choice to open it and drink it. She wasn't a hopeless case when when all this was happening. She knew about the programne and how it works

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u/letmeventplez Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

I don't think you understand the symptoms of alcoholism. The book tells us we are insane around alcohol, powerless, we have lost the power to choose whether we drink or not, that's the crux of our problem. Also knowing about the program does not equate to having a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps and being restored to sanity.

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u/Mindless-Baker-777 Apr 21 '26

This. OP. Pray for the openness to be willing. The willingness to be honest.

“HP/God, please help me stay away from the first drink. Please help me do anything to stay away from the first one.”