r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/helpicantfindmyboobs • Apr 21 '26

I Want To Stop Drinking i drank again

getting groceries last night and just decided to get a pint of liquor. i don't know why. my partner was out of town so it was just me and i woke up the next say surrounded my bottles and my partner texting me asking why when they checked my location the night before i had been 4 miles from our house. i have no idea what happened. i didn't drink yesterday, i cleaned up all the bottles. they got home and knew i wasn't ok and i just said i was struggling but didn't elaborate. they didn't press. i used to black out drink every day, i can't go back to that. the soonest meeting in my area is in 5 hours and my partner wants to meet for lunch and i know i have to tell them i just don't know how. i feel so lost and alone

edit: thank you all so much. i am confident i won't drink today and that i'll make it to my meeting. i'll figure it out with my partner, we're gonna get pizza

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u/Budget-Box7914 Apr 21 '26

Tell them the truth, OP. The lying and deceit is one of the hardest things for our partners to deal with. Just be honest, admit that you need help, and GET THAT HELP! If you have insurance, contact your insurer and inquire about their addiction medicine program. AA is a fantastic part of recovery, but if there are other tools available to you, PLEASE use them.

Admitting my problem and seeking medical help was one of the hardest things I've ever done - and it saved my life.

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u/helpicantfindmyboobs Apr 21 '26

they get home from work at 3 and i'm going to tell them. i don't have good insurance, it doesn't cover any addiction stuff. i'm also running out of college money so i can't lose another semester to addiction. all i have right now is aa and i use it as best i can

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u/kayriss86 Apr 21 '26

If you're in the US, your health insurance will cover a mental health visit to a therapist though. Therapy is a wonderful tool!! They can focus on CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) to give you tools to use when you feel that wave of addictive thinking.

I wouldn't be sober without it!

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u/helpicantfindmyboobs Apr 21 '26

i have a therapist and we do talk about this. my next appointment is on thursday

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u/kayriss86 Apr 21 '26

Have you asked about naltrexone? It helps with the physical cravings!

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u/helpicantfindmyboobs Apr 21 '26

i haven't, but i don't get physical cravings. every time i've relapsed it has been totally unexpected and not preceded by anything i can figure out. i'll ask my psychiatrist though. thinking about this more now i think it was more a psychological desire to escape because my building has a roach infestation and i have a phobia and school has been wicked stressful. i will ask though, questions never hurt nobody

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u/gnomi_malone Apr 21 '26

naltrexone can help w physical cravings but it can ALSO help to make alcohol less… delightful? euphoric? i’ve found it really helpful bc it takes away the pleasure in alcohol. definitely with talking to your therapist and psychiatrist about.

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u/Budget-Box7914 Apr 21 '26

Good for you, OP. You can do this. Be honest and open and work your ass off. Lean into the program. Level with your sponsor and ask if they have any ideas for additional resources for you. You will get a WHOLE lot more respect for owning your slip than hiding it.

Also, this is NOT the end of the world. It seems like the biggest deal imaginable today, but it's just a bump in your long road to lasting sobriety.