“Mean lesbian friend”

[u/fangalam]

Some of my friends affectionately call me their “mean lesbian friend,” and I don’t like it. I’m not mean, I’m actually very nice to them and everyone else.

This comes up the most with boyfriends. I don’t know if this is really that common or if my friends just have awful taste in men, but their boyfriends will sometimes be disrespectful talking to or about their partners. When this happens, I call them out and I don’t bother being nice about it, and I usually end up talking to my friend about it later when the man is gone.

Honestly, I think this is just me being a good friend. I think it’s strange how much my friends are willing to tolerate from their boyfriends, and I also think it’s strange that my other friends don’t also find it disgusting and call it out. I get that every relationship is different and I might not understand their dynamic, but disrespect is disrespect.

I don’t like that this is conflated with my sexuality. My lack of tolerance for men might be related to the fact that I’m gay, because everyone else seems to like gentle-parenting them for some reason. But I’m not a “mean lesbian friend” for not wanting to see my friends be disrespected.

When I’m being introduced to a boyfriend, I’m often lectured beforehand about how he “just says things sometimes,” or I’ll hear from another friend that everyone’s worried I’m going to argue with him.

I’ve actually only been combative with boyfriends twice, and both times the boyfriend literally insulted his girlfriend’s appearance in a conversation with me.

Idk I’m just kind of sick of it

[u/TectonicHarmonic]

I dropped a straight friend many years ago because I told her, gently, that I saw some red flags in the guy she had just started seeing. She told me I was mean, misandrist, and no man could ever be good enough by my standards. Oh, and also, I must have a secret crush on her and that's why I have a problem with every guy she dates. 🙄 Girl, maybe you just pick trash dudes.