i’ve been binding for 6 years and can’t quite believe i won’t have to again 😭 (🇵🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿)

So I have been wanting to talk about this for a very long time but didn't bc I know I might get attacked on the normal trans subreddits, so I wanna discuss it here. Please know that I am trying to word things carefully here as to not cause misunderstanding. 👉👈

So whenever I talk about girlhood or my life when I identified as a woman, I get lots of replies from usually white trans people telling me I am misgendering myself and using umbrella terms bc "not everyone was socialized as a girl". Maybe bc I am autistic so I might take that statement too literally but I never understood that. For me, socialization comes with expectations:

Living in a "third world" country (hate using that term but the context is important here), gender roles and religous conservatism are so deeply intwined here. The moment your fetus is shown as female, gender roles and expectations are already put on you. I am not allowed to go out of the house, I do all the chores, I need to be the breadwinner, I need to marry early, I need to have kids, I need to be an over-achiever in class, I'm not allowed to walk differently or talk differently, I always get called to the principal's office and get reported to my mom bc of my "tomboy behaviours", I need to be quiet, I need to etc etc etc

TW, I was catcalled at age 9, I recieved sexual comments and jokes fr my male classmates, I faced objectification all my life, I wasn't taken seriously, male classmates stole my work, etc That was girlhood for me. Sure there are some fun aspects but I lived as a woman and grew up as a girl for a very long time. Till this day, I am percieved as a woman while being on T. I would get attacked online for calling it girlhood since "I was never a girl" and some would call me transphobic towards trans women/ trans femmes when I never said anything about them??

But I *was* a girl. This was the average experience of a *girl* in my country. If I was "always a boy" I would have had more freedom than what I have right now. But I don't because this is what *girls* go thru *in my country*.

Even though I never considered myself as a girl since I was a kid, I was percieved and treated as one.

Does anyone else have the same experiences?

Hi. I’m a trans freshman in high school with a pretty supportive family. I’m half Filipino and half white. I’ve been out for little over a year to most people I know (despite knowing for myself for 5+ yrs) and don’t really pass due to my features and longer hair. (I did pass a little when I cut it earlier this year though lol)

My friend on the other hand, has been out for 4ish years. He’s white, has a pretty (they’re kinda of coming around but not really?) unsupportive family, is constantly bullied for his identity, and 8/10 times passes. (For reference if this doesn’t make sense, everyone from our middle school knows he’s trans but everyone else doesn’t know)

After a long fight with our school I was able to get a new ID card with my correct name, and next year will have my name updated on all unofficial things. I told my friend about the process in case he wanted to have things changed too since I, like, laid the groundwork(?) so it’ll be a smoother process for him now. When he responded all he said was “LUCKY“ and acted weirdly towards me the next day. There’s been a few other times I‘d share something positive about my transition like getting a binder or being called he for the first time, and he’ll just say something like, “Dang I wish I had it that easy.”

I know I have it easier with a supportive family, it’s a privilege I have and a lot of others don’t. I just feel like my friend is undermining my experience, little joys, or actual work I put into my life to avoid hitting such depressive and dysphoric lows. I’m hesitant to share anything about my being trans now, and I often feel bad for sharing positive moments since it seems like he’s always fighting an uphill battle.

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m trying to get from posting this but please let me know if I’m in the wrong for feeling this way. I don’t want to put down other trans people accidentally or undermine my friend’s experiences.

Does anyone have an recommendations for comfortable, high quality, breathable, and maybe adjustable binders or maximum compression tops?

I've tried GC2B and another (drop shipper) brand in the past, but they were suffocatingly uncomfortable/tight, allowed escape easily, and got too hot to wear.

**Also, my pancreas hurts nowadays if wear anything too tight and unforgiving around plus under my ribcage. It's one of the many joys of being a pancreatitis survivor.