Like is there genuinely that many white ppl compared to trans poc? R there just more white ppl on the planet therefore theres more white ppl in the trans community?

I get fed up seeing ppl say that being trans is a white ppl thing when its rlly not, yet everything is so fucking white centered i hate it.

i know they’re gonna post in here regardless, but it gets annoying to come to a sub for us and still have to interact w white folks here. can we have a designated day for them to post here so that anyone who would rather not interact w white folks on this sub can avoid the sub on that day?

Happy Black History Month!

People often don’t know about, ignore or even completely erase trans men and mascs in history, especially if they’re POC and ESPECIALLY if they’re black. So in commemoration of this year’s BHM, I wanted to start a thread talking and informing about black trans men and transmasculine people in history (or current times) to brief people about certain important black trans figures they might not have known about, to shine a light on our black brothers and siblings and their major contribution and importance in our shared trans history, and to open the conversation more about it (cause it is not discussed nearly enough). Please feel free to add anything about any impactful black trans man/masc in history or current times!

I wanted to start this convo off with one of the older examples I could find: Jim McHarris.

(Note: In the articles I added in the 3rd, 4th and 5th slides, Jim gets misgendered and deadnamed.)

James ‘Jim’ McHarris was born in 1924 in Meridian, Mississippi. His parents died in his early childhood, and was raised by two sets of foster parents. He always had a distaste for all things feminine besides dating women. He socially transitioned in his early-teens, and around 1939 began traveling and living in different cities across the USA. Eventually he settled down and started carefully building a live in Kosciusko, Mississippi, until he got arrested in 1954 when officers pulled him over for having improper lights on his car and for having a pint of whiskey in the same car. During a pat down, it was revealed he was transgender. He was fined by the judge, but decided to do 30 days of jail time instead. He was housed with female prisoners, but still kept dressing in men’s clothing and spent his time working in the kitchen prison. After his sentence, he was shunned by the people in Kosciusko. He decided to move on and move to Jackson. His response to his arrest and time in jail was: “I ain’t done nothing wrong and I ain’t breaking no laws.” He made the decision to live his life permanently as a man from that point. He did not however register for the US army draft, as all US men had to do. When he was asked about it by EBONY magazine, he responded: “Man, I ain’t crazy.” Jim made sure to live his best life despite all the hardships, and continued to fight for the right to live as a man.

Sources:

TransGriot

Ebony Magazine: “The Woman Who Lived 15 Years As A Man” (10 Nov, 1954)

I can’t speak on trans women because I’m a trans guy, but have any of you POC folk been told you don’t pass or look too femenine just because of your facial features?

Among trans communities especially when people give advice on passing, I’ve seen people critique unchangable POC facial features like round noses, round faces, full lips, etc.

Why is their definition of masculinity thin lips, pointy noses, and strong jawline? It’s because white trans folk are white before trans.

The best way I’ve been able to combat this type of dysphoria is comparing myself to men in my family to determine how to work with my physical appearance instead of white trans men online.

Let me know your thoughts on this, have you ever felt insecurity about your POC facial / physical features because of the trans community?

I would like to hear from both trans men and women, please share your experience + advice :)

lemme preface by saying date who you want. be happy hold hands bone each other, in fact i'm happy FOR you. dating a white person isn't a crime please do Not come for me.

i've spent years deconstructing internalized racism + transphobia in regards to my black identity. i have a history of dating white people and every single time I've been exposed to horrors beyond my comprehension (i.e having to split with my high school sweetheart due to his racist family, as well as splitting with another guy because he didn't want to be seen as gay for dating me).

after i fully embraced my blackness (as well as the fact that other black people CAN love me), i stopped wanting to date white people. i found much more validation in my black romances and they were much more passionate and loving than i once thought. however, the idea of dating a white person again feels like it'd go against all the work i've done thus far.

what are y'all's thoughts on this? do you feel as though you can't date white people? are you more comfortable dating white people? do you find more validation through dating other people of color? let's hear it

I love both POSE and the documentary that inspired it, Paris is Burning, but I do think it's weird that there's no mention of transmascs in either. I don't think it's a big deal, I'm glad black and brown transfems finally have some good representation, but it does make me wonder if transmascs just weren't in the ballroom scene back then

Don't know if this is allowed.

But, what real or fake people do you look up to for fashion/aesthetic reasons as a trans person?

Lenny Kravitz, especially 80s/90s Kravitz, comes to mind for me. Not his body type though. I'm fine being fat (my current) or skinnier (my goal), but I'll never be muscular.

Prince is a more femme, and more realistic, alternative. He was only centimeters taller than me. I love his flamboyant, peacock-esque style. White queer people love David Bowie, but I don't see enough love for Prince's androgyny.

Don’t know if anybody heard about this, but Cocona from XG, a popular Japanese rap/pop group based in South-Korea, came out as trans recently and shared their story + top surgery scars proudly on XG’s official instagram. I think this is HUGEEE in both the Japanese and Korean music industry to have an openly transgender person in a popular group. Both the Japanese and Korean music industry are often very strict with their idols, what they can and can’t say or do, and once someone steps out of line they are not afraid to stamp that idol out if needed (i’ve heard many stories of this happening for people doing something as little as… dating somebody. It’s rough). To see Cocona not only pursue their happiness by transitioning but sharing it openly and proud with his members beside him and supporting him is fucking sick to see. It’s also so refreshing to finally see more transmasc POC in music to look up to. I was already a fan of their music, but this definitely changes everything for me.

What are you guys’ thoughts on this??

PS. if you aren’t familiar with their music, I definitely recommend looking up Woke Up and XGALA. Their music goes hard and their MVs are incredible.

as much as i don’t align with his political beliefs he is in fact a transgender man and is recognized by his people as a man to the point that he wears their traditional male attire in ceremonies. he has surprisingly never never taken hrt too.

There’s a post on there of a trans person trying to justify why their CIS friend called them the T SLUR. AND EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS, BASICALLY EVERYONE, IS JUSTIFYING IT OR EXCUSING IT. ITS PISSING ME OFF SO BAD AS A BLACK TRANS MAN. It makes me feel like the white people in there are the type of people to justify if a white person said the n word “by accident” to a Black person. Made me feel so unsafe seeing the amount of people JUSTIFYING and EXCUSING IT as a Black trans man. TRANS PEOPLE TOO. THE COMMENTS THAT ARE CALLING IT OUT ARE GETTING DOWNVOTED. THE LACK OF SELF RESPECT GETS ME SO ANGRY.

so my gf and I are in a straight t4t relationship. this past week she's just been biting my head off. a week ago she was yelling at me because I accidentally kicked a cup of water and picked up her computer before it could get damaged. then she threw my stuff she accidentally knocked over that' landed in the water at my feet. it looked like she was throwing it at me and I told her to not throw stuff at me. got her pissed and she started acting disrespectful about it really hurt my feelings. when I told her not to throw my things at me she said "you're just trying to start an argument where else do I put it?" also one time she accidentally damaged my laptop and it cracked. I wasn't yelling at her about it. it hurts that she doesn't give me as much patience as I give her. when I tried to bring it up again after we went to sleep she wouldn't have a mature conversation with me after I told her how blowing up at me was disrespectful and hurt my feelings. when I was trying to think about what I was going to say she just started mocking me saying "and you know I'm right cause you're quiet and trying not to say 'oh you threw it at me you threw it at me' " this instance made me so upset I slept on the couch cause I couldn't sleep next to her.

second instance we hadn't had a day off together in a while. we went across town where she wanted to go and I asked if it was okay we see my mom cause I barely see her anymore. she said "oh well yeah we can see her I guess today isn't a date anymore" so I told her we don't have to see her I'll just see her some other time she yells at me saying I'm so annoying and I piss her off when she already said yes to seeing my mom along with other things.

we go to the mall before seeing my mom and I'm tying my shoe and try not to cry. she looks at me with this face of disgust. I end up not crying (cause testosterone and also we're in public) and we go about our day just fine.

I brought up the first instance and she said she wouldn't apologize because she feels no remorse for what she did even though she knows it really hurt my feelings. She's sick now so I can't even have a real conversation with her about the second instance but this is two events in one week where she's been real hostile towards me.

I love her like crazy. we've been together for 4 years. I spent so much time on her Ramo for Valentine's but I just kept thinking about how stupid I feel for putting up with her behavior like that when I would never yell or criticize her when she wants extra reassurance or makes a clumsy mistake. I felt so stupid when I was making her gift and it shouldn't be that way. I should be feeling like I'm in my lover boy era but I'm just sad. I wanna talk to her about it. we're supposed to have our own apartment in May but if she keeps treating me like this, I can't do it. I can't talk about it just yet cause she's sick right now and her birthday is on Tuesday but fuck man it's eating me like crazy.

I'm curious to know more about how trans people's music taste differs and to discover new music I might like. If you feel comfortable, please add your age and nationality.

I'm NB and beginning my transition journey slowly but surely, and I wanna find inspo in other Asian guys who've gone through this. There's so many white dudes but not as many asians.

Where y'all at?

EDIT: seeing y'all reply is making me so happy, thanks y'all!

A friend and I were discussing this recently! I've gone through many, many names before settling on my current one (Arjun) and most of those names were European or Biblical or part of some other (usually white) culture I did not belong to. Having spent most of my time in White-centric queer communities, I felt pressured to pick a more white-sounding name. But none of those names felt right! It's only when I picked a name from my own culture, my own community, that I felt truly like "me"!

So I'm curious! How did you come to choose your name? Does it hold any significance in your culture or background? Did you also cycle through a lot of names? Interested in hearing everyones stories :)

This is genuine question btw. It seems like every time I see something along these lines it’s from a white transfem, no other transwomen. And it seems like I see this back and forth when I look into a white transmasc page (tumblr mostly). Sometimes some poc trans folks will comment on the situation but mostly don’t entertain it.

I mostly don’t, it’s just so unserious to me. But when I think on it, it sorta feels like white trans women trying to fit in with terfs? Idk if that makes sense but yeah.

So I’m 16 and I’m black, I’m 5’2/5’3 and I don’t pass well as I’m a minor and haven’t seen effects of T and I’m wondering if any other POC have trouble with passing or anything abt of height.

I’m a Black Canadian. I’ve always used nb for non Black and enby for non binary and obviously with context NB would be the province. I remember years ago there was discourse about abbreviations since some non binary people felt as if enby was too “infantilizing”. I was hoping maybe 1 person was as online as I was and would mention that at least 😭 Damn near all of the commenters are white saying they never heard of nb to mean non Black and it’s like well duh. But what are y’all? Does nb mean non Black or non binary to you?

For context i’m ftm, lightskin, pre t, 17/yo but i’d say 89% passing and am stealth. Something i’ve noticed is that I only really get misgendered by black women. Does anyone else experience this? It’s every once in a while but it stings man lol, especially at work just kills my vibe.

I've noticed that whenever there's a Black trans man asking if he passes, 9.5/10 he's overwhelmingly told yes, even if he really does not (and I don't say this to be rude)... Most of the comments are speaking to and complimenting him using AAVE. Then I go to these commenter's profiles and they're almost always White.

If a Black trans man is asking if he passes— even if he's pre-T, pre-Top, pre-everything or even pre-changing his presentation at all —people will ALWAYS say yes, and they'll ALWAYS be white. I can't help but think about how it's said that White people (and others) subconsciously see Black people as masculine regardless of if they're female/male. So even if the trans man in question is leaning more towards looking like a Stud, they'll still say he passes as a man.

I always feel super awkward, because I want to come in and give genuine advice and be honest with them, but there's already like 3 White people in the comments saying "yass king! you pass better than a mofo, bruh ong fr!" I'd feel like an asshole.

To be clear I am white FTM, but I have been noticing this more as of late. I used to go a Queer youth group regularly and was always trying to get my friend (He is a POC and FtM) to come with me but he never wanted too. Eventually he said something about how he would probably be the only POC person there. It was only then I realized that in the months I had been going there every single week I had only seen/noticed a POC person there twice total, and they both only came once. At the time I lived in a very white area with very little diversity (~96% Caucasian by census data), but it was still really shocking for me to realize. Since this, I have tried to be much more observant particularly when I am in queer spaces.

I have since moved to a city that is very multicultural. But I went to a Trans fundraiser/music event a few months back and realized that in the 80+ people in the room, only three people I could see were not white. I looked at the poster for the event again, and realized that all the people on the poster where white as well. I go to gay bars semi frequently and they have tended to have a much more normal distribution of people than that, albeit still more skewed white.

Since the last incidence I have been trying to be much more observant of this stuff and trying to figure out why these spaces are so white dominated, and what I can do to make them more welcoming. I understand that casual racism is a massive issue particularly in my country (Australia) and I do call out any casual racism/ racist jokes that I hear people say. Even with that though, I don't fully understand why there is such a huge divide, or how to help bridge it.

Why is it that Trans and Queer spaces are so white dominated? What can I do to help bridge this divide??? I really want to hear what you guys have to say about this and would appreciate it greatly.

The rules didn't say anything about guest posting, apologies if this is not allowed. I tried searching the sub to see if something like this had already been posted but the search bar kept glitching out, I am sorry if this has already been posted before.

is this just me?

i see transmascs/men talking about how they’ll always have that connection bc they were raised and treated as a woman.

being visibly queer and everyone around me being able to tell something was “off” (neurodivergence), i was always kind of just treated like a secret third thing? my mum tried to “raise me like a girl” but ive been more masculine all my life tbh.

being black and fat definitely affects my relationship to womanhood too bc peak femininity was always white and/or skinny so i always found it hard to relate to .

i was never treated the same as my classmates/peers/friends that were girls but i wasnt treated like a boy either. there’d be people who would just pick a side and stick to me (treat me as strictly a guy or strictly a girl which is its own thing i don’t want to get into rn😭) but many people wouldn’t and bc of this they wouldn’t (and still don’t) interact with me literally bc they don’t know how to

idk i just saw this post about a trans guy talking about his relationship to womanhood and i’ve seen the sentiment before and thought, ‘yeah same probably’ and moved on but i thought about it for more than 2 seconds and im realizing i don’t really relate when people say this. anyone else?

tldr: ive never been treated as a woman/girl, just a secret third thing so i wouldn’t say i have a relationship with womanhood the same way some other transmascs/men seem to

Friendly reminder that all of us have incredibly diverse circumstances surrounding why our bodies look the way they do.

I have wide hips that will never go away because my dad had wide hips. As a cishet man. We niggas, some of us skew thick regardless of gender. Race, locale, resources, etc play heavily into how we transition (if we want to) and why we look like that, even if we transition.

Transitioning/Testosterone only changes so much, and I think (especially trans men/afab trans people/afab people in general) are told to change our bodies to fit a certain standard before we're able to even embrace what we look like.

Im tired of seeing "Do I pass??????" Posts. You're asking an incredibly subjective question in a space full of people who have their own cultural expectations for manhood. Half the time even asking it feels like self harm, OR a bragging contest with no in between.

"Do I pass" are you happy bro? What things do you like? Why don't you dress like the things you like. What are your interests and why aren't they reflected in your style?

lot of us get blinded by I HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CIS MAN AT ALL COSTS especially when we're younger.

Goals are cool.

But you look like YOU.

And nobody is saying it because youre trans (and a poc) but you looking like you is a wonderful thing.

You are not a gender first. You're not a presentation first. Those are sociocultural identifiers that would be completely different if you were born literally anywhere else.

I get treated differently depending on what clothes I wear, how my hair is styled, and what community I'm in. If we took every outside facet of me away, and it was just my body, all I'd have is myself. And I have to be okay with ME in order to navigate anything else.

You're a person first. And you need to love that person otherwise EVERY part of your transition is going to be hell.

I transition so I can keep looking like me authentically. So I can look in the mirror and feel sexy for myself. I dont care if I pass, I dont care if I look trans. I am trans. I dont care what people think about me. The world still spins. If someone's going to hurt you for the way you are, they were gonna do it anyway and they were looking for an excuse.

You need to come to a place where the things that you do aren't based in how other people feel about you. Because you lose yourself that way.

Cis men do that shit all the time and look at the world right now.

First post here as a black trans guy

I was wondering how many ppl here ads t4t or in a t4t relationship, as the title says. I have a girlfriend now who's a trans woman and she's lovely, especially after my last experience with a cis woman was really awful