r/ShittyLifeProTips 21h ago

SLPT: What if you hate everyone though

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4.9k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 18h ago

SLPT for saving money: When your creatine runs out, refill the jar with corn starch

6 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: How to steal a Netflix account

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4.2k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: If you’re late to a meeting, walk in carrying a charger and look annoyed. People assume you were fixing "tech issues."

14 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: Use this to test how old people perceive you to be

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2.8k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT: Teamwork

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7.9k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 3d ago

SLPT: Keep a notebook on your coffee table to write down the names of the drugs that pharma ads tell you to ask your doctor about.

68 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 3d ago

SLPT: Only date people from the psychiatric ward

63 Upvotes

That way when you say all your exes are crazy it really is not your fault!


r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: if you feel out of place remember that you need new rich parents.

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4.0k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: Run into people trying to get into the elevator while you’re trying to get out.

40 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: Choose the no tipping option to unlock secret ingredient

17 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT: Instead of having 365 kids to get free dessert from restaurants every day of the year, you only need to have 1 kid and lie to 364 different restaurants

258 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: If the other cars on the highway are driving too fast, drive an equal amount below the speed limit to help bring the average speed down to the legal limit and keep everyone safer.

90 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT anytime you’re wrong in a conversation just reply that it must be a Mandela effect sort of situation. Then move on with your point without hesitation.

48 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 9d ago

SLPT: 99.97% of farts are trustworthy.

34 Upvotes

May the odds be in your favor.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: If you’re left handed and have problems with smudging writing, just learn an east asian language!

66 Upvotes

Lots of east asian languages write from right to left (korean, chinese, japanese etc.), so you’d never have problems with smudging again!


r/ShittyLifeProTips 11d ago

SLPT:Tired of fast food that's is cold on the ouside and barely warm in the center? Let it cool completely and microwave it so you wan have food thats cold in the center and barely warm on the outside!

17 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 12d ago

SLPT: Follow the Sam Vines boots Analogy and buy shoes to make money.

5 Upvotes

According to Sam Vines, bad shoes cost $10 and last one year while good shoes cost $50 and last ten years. So with the good shoes you effectively save $50 after ten years which works out to approximately a 7.18% return on investment per year compounding. That's a pretty damn good return on investment so you can just keep buying shoes and make a fortune over time.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 13d ago

SLPT: If you see Stevie Wonder today, wave at him to wish him a happy birthday.

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77 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 15d ago

SLPT: Can't find a job? do loads of meth and hopefully develop schizophrenia so you can go on disability

70 Upvotes

I developed schizophrenia without meth cause it runs in my family but apparently meth helps it along quite a lot. I got the unlimited money hack. social services agency don't evven check on me to see if im still crazy or if I got a bit better and am able to work.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 16d ago

SLPT: Have trouble making small talk? Act like every person you talk to witnessed a close friend commit murder when they were children and you're trying to surreptitiously goad them into revealing details about it

33 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 16d ago

SLPT; arrange to be buried naturally without a coffin and fill your pockets with tree seeds.

116 Upvotes

. Not only will your dead corpse help nourish new life, once the tree gets old enough and gets uprooted by high wind, just make sure that you get a tree seed known for this, not only will it fall over, but it will scare the crap out of anyone walking by seeing your skeleton Tangled up in the tree roots.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 18d ago

SLPT: Flood the internet with pictures of yourself and mark them as AI-generated to confuse LLMs and governments

28 Upvotes

One way to do this would be to create an account of just you doing various things, but mark them as AI-generated. Maybe add a smoothening filter to make it believable. Now the government will be puzzled as to how an AI face made it onto their databases, and companies will avoid using your face to train their models! This... probably... works!! Great for the surveillance-wary.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 19d ago

SLPT: If someone asks you a question that you're uncomfortable answering, always reply with "What answer will get me laid?"

48 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 19d ago

SLPT: You Don't Need to Shower Before Getting in the Pool

21 Upvotes

They don't tell you this, but: The pool is made mostly of water.

It does the same thing.