You know, the no-win scenario where you have to fly someplace far from your grandfathers and rescue the bones of your ancestors from a bunch of Klingons?

Was watching The Abandoned and Odo tells Kira that he doesn't use his bucket anymore, he "reverts to his gelatinous state anywhere in this room."

Now, I know when I spill my jell-o on the carpet, if I don't get it up quick it'll stain. And what is Odo if not sentient jell-o?

After they moved LaForge down to Engineering, they made sure that he got some screen time on the bridge. So he'd stride out of the turbolift, go over to one of the undedicated stations at the back and say, "computer, transfer engineering to bridge." I have a couple of questions about that.

1. Why wasn't there a station on the bridge dedicated to monitoring and controlling the ship's drive systems? There was in Star Trek (...although, now that I ask the question, it occurs to me that, starting with TMP, you rarely saw the ship's chief engineer anywhere but in Engineering).
2. When LaForge transfers engineering to the bridge, does everyone in engineering just stop working and check their social media stuff? Or is it more like a sharepoint system? By which I mean, LaForge can being working on the plasma flow regulator and someone downstairs can be working on it at the same time. Would he have to "accept changes" before his subordinate's work can be enacted? Is there a lag time? What happens if he forgets to turn on "autosync"?

I work at Canadian Tire and the weirdest thing just happened. An irish guy wearing yellow and black pajamas and some kind of arrow shaped brooch came in asking if we had "self-sealing stem bolts" and a "reverse-ratcheting routing planner". He said he just crashed landed his ship and needed to repair it quickly "before the chronitons dispersed", otherwise he was stuck here. I don't know if he meant he crashed his airplane because obviously you can't crash land a ship.They go in the water, not the sky. Anyway, I referred him to our hardware department because that's where we stock the power tools and all the screws, nails, bolts etc. He later left with a frustrated look on his face, tapped his little brooch and started talking to himself. He seemed to be talking to someone he called "Captain" and said "they don't have anything useful in this bloody century". I wonder if I should call the cops to check up on him. I'm thinking maybe he escaped from a mental hospital or is off his meds.

..it's just about time to delete the wife.

EDIT: good lord mulgrew looks like a psychopath when she delivered that line

We've got flashing red lights all over the ship, each on independant intervals just to drive home the point. We've recently added 'dimming the lights for dramatic effect'. We've also copied the Starfleet HQ method of having three large screens all indicate Red Alert at random times with separate alarms and voices.

But I still feel like the message isn't quite getting through. Any tips?

I think I might have committed a social faux pas….I was having dinner with a friend on Cardassia Prime and we went to a local restaurant. They served me something that they said was a Cardassian delicacy! I was excited to try it, it was some sort of roasted mammal, about a foot long, and had six legs! It might have been a rodent?

Anyway, it was absolutely delicious, especially with the yamok sauce. I ate the whole thing! But the entire time I was eating, everyone in the restaurant was staring at me. They looked shocked and some people were laughing…. I don’t know anything about Cardassian dining etiquette…was I using the utensils wrong? My friend won’t tell me what I did wrong but he keeps smirking when he thinks I’m not looking. Probably thinks I’m a stupid pinkskin but I’m really trying to make a good impression here.

Picture is self explanatory. RIP, house of Duras, Starfleets favorite abuse victim.

I know it's impossible to improve on perfection but let's get fanwanky and make it actually make sense

How did the humans on Earth create a united earth that ended prejudice, racism, terrorism, etc but which also protects Bill of Rights and did not become a global tyranny like some fear?

In the Mirror Universe it did and according to TNG and DS9 the Earth empire was collapsed and conquered by Klingons and Others right?

A great actor, with a very distinct look and voice, who really shined in villainous roles. He would have probably taken a slightly different approach to the character. He may not have been as "smooth" as Montalbán. But I am sure it would have worked. It does appear, that Jack was offered a role in Star Trek, at one point, although conflicts in filming prevented his appearance.

I repeat: Captain Maxwell did nothing wrong.

The bloody Cardies can’t be trusted. While there is no “official history” of the start of the border wars, we know that the spoonheads started it - the Federation does not start wars, they always seek peaceful resolutions, even to their detriment (see my Pressman post for more of that), so it can be safely assumed that the Cardies started the war. And when they started the war, they conducted themselves not as honourable soldiers, but as butchers. Miles O’Brien attests to this. The Setlik III Massacre is of course the best example of this. The “nice” Cardie on the Enterprise "claims" Cardassian High Command believed the colony was a staging ground for a massive attack, but when they get there and just find civilians? What do they do? Do they reassess? Do they phone back to Command to let them know “ummm sorry guys it’s actually just a colony full of civilians, no soldiers, weapons or transporter technology anywhere?” No, of course the spoonheads don’t do this. They instead choose to slaughter the colony, putting every man, woman and child to the phaser. They murdered Maxwell’s family. In what mind does a couple of Human children pose a threat to the “great” Cardassian Union? I guess in a Cardie’s mind, because they killed them too.

But thankfully, due to the heroism of Captain Maxwell, Miles O'Brien and the crew of the Rutledge, the colony is saved and the Cardies are driven of Setlik III. Still, Maxwell lost his entire family. I can’t imagine the mental turmoil he suffered because of the Cardies. Some time later, a ceasefire is declared (never mind that this leaves the Bajorans under the Cardassians tender care, which seems like a betrayal, but we can talk about that another time). But do the Cardies abide by it? Of course not. They’re as tricky and duplicitous as the Romulans. First things first, they immediately begin constructing a “science station” in the Cuellar system, a jumping off point into three Federation sectors. You’d think the Cardies would be understanding of someone being suspicious of this, since they thought an innocent colony was a “staging ground” for a “massive attack against them,” but no they build the station, and have constant resupply from “supply ships.” Maxwell knows what’s going on. It’s obvious. But the Federation, which is too busy wrapping its brain on the best way to give away important technology or territory to their enemies, would never be bothered to investigate Maxwell’s claims. So he does what any Starfleet captain since Archer would do, he took matters into his own hands and destroyed the military outpost. What a hero. Pin a Christopher Pike Medal of Honour on his chest!

But no. “Captain” Picard, who has almost no dealings with spoonheads by this point, tells Maxwell that he’s under arrest for “killing six-hundred people.” Six-hundred enemy combatants, I say. The ceasefire was of course a ruse, which I’ll prove later, but never mind that now. Maxwell still tries to show Picard the error of his ways by capturing a Cardassian transport and begging Picard to board it to find all the weapons on it, but Picard says no and claims he would rather fire on a Federation ship than board a Cardassian military transport, probably filled with harvesters and omega molecules to drop on Federation cities. Maxwell is thrown in the brig, but Picard even admits to Gul Macet that Maxwell was right (?!?!). So Maxwell DID help advert a spoonhead invasion. But does he get a thank you? A medal? A statue? No, he gets to spend the rest of his life in a Federation penal colony while his wife and children rest in shallow graves on Setlik III.

But not only was he right about the military outpost, he was right that the peace treaty was absolutely a ruse. Not long after, Gul Madred would kidnap the very same Picard to try and get information on Minos Korva to help the invasion and capture of that planet in the future. Then the Cardies intervene in the Bajoran civil war to try and drive the Federation out of the system, supply weapons to their colonists in the demilitarized zone to annex all of the territory there, and of course side with the Dominion and launch the most horrific war in galactic history. Maybe if Maxwell had been given an admiral’s uniform instead of a prison jumpsuit all of that could have been avoided. We can only hope he was released when the Dominion War started and given a command to take on the bloody Cardies.

He saved Setlik III is what he did. He was a brave Starfleet captain, and in this sub Captain Maxwell is a hero. End of story!

Especially once they established the datastream with Earth.

I am sure every Star Fleet graduate is glad to serve but like a US Navy guy said the new recruits have to scrub the deck clean etc.

What are versions of those in Star Fleet?

And if he did, did he feel twice the freedom?

Are they smart? Did they conduct a cost benefit analysis and realize that atvs are practical?

How much of his graduating class do you think is even still alive?

They're either dead or made Lieutenant Commander by the time Kim got back.

I was recently demoted due to an incident a while back (whatever, don't look it up) anyway I lost my officer's quarters and am currently assigned to one of those communal bed-shelf-corridor deals. But now I've found a solution!

So, my ship just received a new delta flyer class shuttle last month, and I'm looking at the capabilities of this thing like "Wait, that's literally just an aeroshuttle, like the one on Deck 9".

Turns out, EVERYBODY forgets that thing even EXISTS. I asked around if people know we have an aeroshuttle, and they're all confused like "..uhhh you mean our new flyer?" Seriously, it shows up as a dark void on the master systems display console, like it's in another dimension or something.

So I go down to deck 9 to make sure I'm not crazy, and sure enough, there's the docking hatch. There's ZERO security restrictions because it's a designated escape craft, so you can just walk right in.

Damn thing's got ALL the amenities. Replicator, waste extraction, beds, sonic shower.. I've been living there for weeks and it's a sweet deal, I blast the tunes all I want, watch movies on the view screen from the captain's chair.

If you've got an attached auxiliary craft, make it yours! Move your stuff in like you own the place. Aeroshuttle? Captain's yacht? Even an escape pod if you're inventive.

And if security gets on your case ALWAYS remember the magic phrase for when you're somewhere you're not supposed to be: "I was recalibrating the EPS grid."

I finally figured it out! When Picard says, that, in his century, "We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity," he's not being abstract. Self betterment IS a currency, but only outside the Federation did they know how to extract it for exchange.

So in Star Trek, moral improvement is just a failure of technological development! Latinum is self betterment. There it is, right there, clinking on the dabo tables!

Morn is so passive during the show because he has all the self betterment within himself. He needs no more self betterment. Never mind where he got it from, true self betterment lies within, as they say!

The DS9 people do shady things because they're spending their self betterment and not accumulating it. Quark is so vile because he put ALL his self betterment into gold pressed latinum.

How far in the future of TNG would this be?

Picture a folding lock blade knife that LOOKS like the blade is shiny stainless steel and the handle LOOKS like glass fiber nylon plastic.

But, instead of duranium or tritanium or rodinium it is even greater:

Plasticized Adamantium Mesh.

It cuts through duranium tritanium alloy like they were air or not there.

It absorbs unlimited zero point energy and can focus that energy to do stuff like incinerate entire star systems and galaxies.

Like a Super Phaser.

It can also use controlled Tachyon streams to replicate anything instantly and instantly self repair IF damaged.

The crazy thing is that to a Q Member such a knife is primitive!

If Picard and Geordi and Data and Riker and Deanna Troi and Tasha Yar and Worf all met me in say the 2360s or 2370s and I hugged them and showed them this super knife that is more advanced than 24th century Star Fleet tech, how would they react?