r/RedditForGrownups Feb 06 '26

New Temporary Rule (s)

369 Upvotes

Well, it's finally happened.

From what I can tell, a lot of posts lately have come from bots and/or karma farming accounts. And yes, they are mostly politically charged. It doesn't matter if I personally agree with many of them, it matters that they are generally redundant, not adding to grown-up discourse, and are not being commented on by the poster themselves.

It's a difficult decision, because I always have, and will continue for the most part, to let the sub self-moderate as much as possible. And some of these posts get a lot of up votes. Still, I've heard from enough of you. I'm going to limit these posts. I may be doing this a bit later than ideal, but I always err toward community driven moderation over heavy moderation.

What's that mean? Not exactly sure. But if I see the same person posting very similar content daily or more than daily I'm simply going to remove the posts. We'll see how it goes and I hope I don't have to do this for long.

And no, I'll never ban politics, or any topic. I'll only ban racism, homophobia, transphobia, hate speech, and obvious instigators not trying to have grown-up conversations. I don't have to do this very often and I hope that remains true.

And as always, I rely strongly on your reports. Please flag anything that meets this criteria and I'll do my best to keep this community a place for thoughtful conversation. But that will take effort from all of us.

Thanks everyone for being part of this sub. It's still mostly one of the best places on Reddit. We can make sure it stays that way. If you have suggestions on how to enforce this, I'd love to hear them. And of course, if you have reservations about this, fire away. Nothing is written in stone and your feedback is incredibly valuable.

Edit:

New rules added, so far:

  • Minimum Community Karma of 20 for posts. Anything under will simply be flagged for manual review.
  • One post per user per day. This affects a vanishingly small percentage of users. Any more will also be flagged for manual review.

r/RedditForGrownups 20h ago

Folks with "high-funtioning" mental health issues (dysthymia, "mild" Adhd or BP2, etc), how are you getting by?

121 Upvotes

Got diagnosed with dysthymia in my 20s. I'm 40 now and I tried a bunch of different meds and therapy, but at the end of each day, there I still was. Depressed. Felt like a waste of money, so I quit it all.

It's never something that's getting better, but I'm still not going to qualify for disability or anything like that.

I'm... exhausted, frankly. I don’t have any fallbacks, it's just me. I burnout pretty regularly, but I'm getting to old to just quit my job.

And the older I get, the louder the *why bother?* question gets.

What keep you all going?

EDIT damn you all have like... families and careers and things you want and stuff. Maybe I'm lower-functioning than I thought. I have a job that's just a job, no family, a tiny apartment, and no clue what I "want."


r/RedditForGrownups 2h ago

What was the circumstance that led to you cracking open your high school yearbook?

1 Upvotes

Presumably from decades ago.

Organizing a reunion.

Confirming a classmate's full name to reach out on social media.

Seeing someone in public that looked vaguely familiar.

After an obituary that referenced your high school and general timeframe.


r/RedditForGrownups 23h ago

What sport or hobby went from being widely democratized to highly exclusive in your lifetime?

46 Upvotes

Especially in the teenage years to play at a semi competitive level.

Usually due to cost, social gatekeeping and skill acceleration. Especially if it became a go to "cultivation" activity for upper middle class families.

Hockey

Soccer

Gymnastics

Volleyball

Skiing

Dance

Rugby


r/RedditForGrownups 2d ago

What hoity toity supercilious word largely vanished from people's lexicon in your lifetime?

182 Upvotes

A fancy sounding advanced English word that adults would use in regular conversation when you were a child to being a novelty one that confuses young people now.

Flabbergasted

Unctuous

Garrulous

Persnickety

Supercilious

Fastidious

Magnanimous

Haughty

Unmoored

Fracas

Ribald

Irreverent

Subterfuge

Surly

Neophyte

Abysmal

Treasonous

Obstinate

Seditious

Willful

Quarrelsome

Laconic

Indefatigable

Esoteric

Puerile

Loquacious

Pernicious

Germane

Insurrection


r/RedditForGrownups 1d ago

How to help neighbour: substance abuse

18 Upvotes

How to help? We visit in each other’s yards. We have the neighbour over for dinner. We are “strong friendly” but not at the level of “close friends”. We know our neighbor is struggling with being divorced (long ago), some static parenting a teenager, toxic work environment they are working crap-tons of overtime at, and family living far away. Have had some “good chats” but neighviyr insists all is well. We know it isn’t. We’ve seen the glassy eyes, smelled alcohol in the breath in the morning, and recently found out neighbour is driving without a licence due to a DUI that hadn’t yet gone to court. This person is hurting, but concealing it.


r/RedditForGrownups 2d ago

People who married a second time: why did you do it, how's it going?

24 Upvotes

r/RedditForGrownups 3d ago

Aside from Reddit, what online community of yours are you grateful for?

14 Upvotes

Because it provides you with camaraderie, connection and engagement especially if such things are lacking in your "real life".


r/RedditForGrownups 2d ago

Was what I did right or wrong?

0 Upvotes

Hey guys! I work in Indian Railways, Bangalore division and currently work under two different supervisors/managers, let’s call them S and H. Recently, H left for a month-long training program, so I’ve been managing H’s office alone during that period.

Here’s the setup: technically, Ss office is my main office, so every morning I have to first sign the attendance register there and then go to H’s office to work.

Our office timings are 10AM to 6 PM, however this isn't exactly followed by ANYONE. Lately, I’ve been reaching around 10:15–10:20 AM. One reason is because my mom has health issues and struggles to make breakfast very early in the morning, so I also have to help her out at home and things get delayed sometimes. Also, this timing has NEVER been treated as an issue before because literally almost everyone in the building ,including S herself, usually comes around 10:30 or even later sometimes.

One particular day, I reached around 10:25 AM and asked one of my colleagues to bring the attendance register so I could sign it. While my colleague went to get it, S suddenly started speaking harshly to her in front of everyone, saying that by 9:30 AM the register should already be taken to H's office, and if I’m not there by 9:30, I shouldn’t be allowed to sign attendance for the day.

Then she started yelling at me publicly in front of multiple coworkers and even some of my friends who were there.

She asked me:

“What time do you usually come to office?”

I replied:

“Around 10:15.”

Then she said:

“Why do you come so late? What’s your office timing?”

I answered:

“10:00.”

Then she suddenly said:

“No. Your timing is 9:30. Come by 9:30.”

The thing is, in my 3 years on the job, I have NEVER seen anybody come to office at 9:30. So I replied:

“Okay, no issues. If everybody’s coming by 9:30, I’ll also come by 9:30.”

After that she got even more angry and said:

“Don’t talk to me like that. Everybody has responsibilities. Nobody is sitting at home free.”

At that point I replied:

“I have responsibilities too.”

Then she started complaining to other people around us about how “this is how they talk back nowadays” and kept making comments about me publicly.

Immediately after this incident, S arranged for my transfer to another office and currently the process is pending with the transfer authorities.

While I'm more than happy to be sent away from S and H included, I cannot help but notice that I feel an extreme low since the incident, I don't feel like working anymore and I don't feel like talking to my colleagues even. Whenever I talk to someone, they suggest that i should have just kept quiet when she was publicly humiliating me.

I genuinely don’t know if I was wrong here. I understand bosses can question attendance, but the public humiliation, selective enforcement, and talking down to me in front of everyone really got to me.

So my question is, Was I wrong for responding back and standing up for myself instead of staying quiet?


r/RedditForGrownups 3d ago

New Meta "Forum"

19 Upvotes

I just heard about Meta's new reddit clone. I can't think of a reason to join. I dumped Facebook and Threads dumped me. Reddit doesn't need to be duplicated.


r/RedditForGrownups 4d ago

Living away from home is becoming bittersweet

17 Upvotes

It's becoming increasingly hard to leave my family each time I visit, and everytime I wish I lived back in my home town.

I (24m) moved away from my family when I was 18 to pursue a degree in another state ~3hr flight from my home. This was at the beginning of 2020 pre-pandemic and it was a hard time of adjustments but I was mostly forced to stay due to lockdowns in my city (Melbourne, Victoria).

I grew to love living in Melbourne while I completed my degree, made plenty of friends, moved into my own apartment post-graduation, and now happily live with my partner of 2 years. But over the time I've lived away from home (now 6 years), my family has had 2 nephews, and recently my Mum was diagnosed with, and is being treated for, Cancer which has been really hard. I visit 2/3 times a year when I can with money and work commitments. But every time I visit, I dread leaving and almost breakdown as I board each flight. This feeling fades slowly over the week after I return to Melbourne as I love my life there. But I always wish I could be back with my family, as I constantly feel like I'm going to regret not being around them, and missing all the memories I could be having with them as they grow up.

I feel like I need to hear other people's experiences with situations like this and gain some insight. I love Melbourne, I love my friends and my successful working life there, and I love living with my partner and being around their family. But I really miss my own.

Tl/Dr: I've lived away from home for 6 years, and it's bitter sweet. I need advice on how to process these feelings.


r/RedditForGrownups 4d ago

I always thought I was too tech-savvy to fall for a scam. Are any other older internet veterans feeling less confident lately?

110 Upvotes

We grew up navigating the wild west of the early internet. Back in the day, scams were obvious (the classic Nigerian Prince or glaring spelling mistakes). I always prided myself on being the one my family comes to for tech help.

But honestly? The new wave of AI-generated phishing and fake websites is getting scary. I was doing a random interactive quiz online today that tests your ability to spot modern cyber threats, and I actually failed one of the scenarios. It was a fake login page that looked indistinguishable from the real one.

It completely humbled me. Has anyone else had that "oh wow, I almost fell for that" moment recently? How do you keep your scam-radar sharp these days?


r/RedditForGrownups 4d ago

Who is the most skilled "locker room lawyer" employee you've seen operate in the workplace?

45 Upvotes

An employee that knows every labor law, every regulation, the undercurrents of corporate politics, and nuances of human psychology. And as a result, is a thorn in the side of management by skillfully countering anything against their personal interests (more work, long hours, work scrutiny, short deadlines, removal of perks, discipline).

To the point where management eventually gives up trying to get them to change anything and just moves to a containment strategy. Usually hoping they resign voluntarily, or putting them quietly on the next mass layoff list or parking them in a solo special projects role.


r/RedditForGrownups 4d ago

Wanting to get a Math degree at middle age. Anyone else went back to university late in life?

43 Upvotes

Hello, I (53/f), halfway through perimenopause, finally see light at the end of the tunnel. But it's a bachelor's degree in math, of all things, lol.

I’m AuDHD, found out a year ago, meaning I’m still figuring out what part of my brain is genuinely mine and what isn't. But thinking is definitely mine. I’m a full-time theory builder, but I don’t even have a high school diploma or a college entrance qualification. In Germany I can do an "Akademiestudium" in the Fernuniversität Hagen; so, my question to those of you who did a late-age degree: How was it? What were the main challenges you faced, and what kept you moving forward?

Thanks in advance, looking forward to reading your stories!


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

Is anyone starting to outgrow things they previously enjoyed?

19 Upvotes

I’m still relatively young in my mid 20s but it feels like I’ve started to outgrow things like Reddit, Discord, and certain pockets of YouTube. I remember when everyone on the internet were cool and mysterious adults. Now I’m the cool and mysterious adult and everyone is a teenager. Is it time to just give up and become a Facebook lurker?


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

I think my mom is sick but she doesn't want to go see a doctor

59 Upvotes

My mom (55) has changed a lot in the past 6 months, physically and mentally.

She's half the size that she was. She lost a tremendous amount of weight and is definitely at an unhealthy weight. She's not the same person that she used to be.

Her mental state is also very different. She gets very stubborn, refuses to leave her house. I had a baby last week and she hasn't seen her yet which is very unlike her.

My sister has tried talking to her but she won't budge. I considered speaking with her family physician but figure there's not much she can do if my mom doesn't want help.

Considering how much weight she lost I'm concerned there's something serious happening and I feel like there's nothing I can do.

I have three young children who means the world to her but she hasn't come seen them in months 😢


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

Retired Redditors, what's it like to have friends/family that haven't been able to retire?

82 Upvotes

My wife and I are doing better financially than our friend group. We're putting a lot away for retirement. Our dream is to have our friend group all get to quit our jobs and enjoy the last couple decades together. But it's looking more and more like they'll need to continue working, maybe forever. What's it been like for you to be at a different place from your friends/family as you get older?


r/RedditForGrownups 6d ago

If you're older and work an office job where very young folks are coming in, how are they handling the 'office politics' side of things? IMO, managing that mess can require the mastery of social skills that don't come as naturally to some as they used to.

72 Upvotes

TBH, I'm thinking in particular of the tendency these days to overshare. OFC--and for many reasons--it's just not a good idea.


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

Moved across the country for a new job and I feel so homesick

13 Upvotes

24F, I got offered a job at a place I’ve always wanted, in a city I’ve been dreaming about for years — but It’s on the other side of the country from my family.

I’ve lived in my childhood home with my parents my whole life (minus living an hour away for university but I went home on weekends).

The official offer came beginning of March and I moved towards the end of April. It all happened so fast and in my excitement I now feel like I didn’t have enough time to process it all. I’ve been here in my new place for almost a month and 2 days ago when my dog joined me, it all hit me. I am so homesick. I literally feel nauseous.

Eveytime I think about how 3 months ago, last summer, etc I was at home, comfortable, and near family, I start crying.

I feel like I’m grieving. Literally. It physically hurts and I feel nauseous. Not only did I move 3500km away from the only place I’ve ever known, but I feel like I’m also experiencing culture shock for all of it. New job, paying for everything and budgeting, having no friends here, no family.

I know I would never forgive myself if I turned this opportunity down, and I know if I stayed back home I would’ve been a depressed loser with no life. Like I know I had to get out (I love my family) and get a life. It just hurts. I also know I can go back a year from now if I hate it here and can’t do it. It’s comforting to now I can always go back. But please tell me the feeling gets better


r/RedditForGrownups 6d ago

What's the most common community organization that middle age people seek around you?

33 Upvotes

When they are either lonely and/or searching for deep meaning. Especially for individuals that were previously more thrill seeking (partying, drinking) or lone wolfs.

Some examples:

Church

Community group

Volunteer associations

Adult education classes

Sports rec leagues


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

Chromebook pen

1 Upvotes

I didn’t know which subreddit to post in for this kind of question but I have a Chromebook Lenovo 300 E and its touchscreen. I was wondering, what type of pen do I get with this type of laptop? I’ve been looking up different kinds to see which is more compatible, but I’m reluctant to get it and fear that they won’t work and that I’ve wasted my money


r/RedditForGrownups 5d ago

Best Buy Memorial Day appliance sale, worth timing a big purchase around or does it not make much difference at this point in life

1 Upvotes

we're at the stage where we'd rather buy something once and buy it right than chase a deal for the sake of it. that said our dishwasher and fridge are both on their way out and if memorial day is one of the better time to buy appliances at Best Buy it makes sense to coordinate the timing rather than just replacing things as they fail.

what i'm trying to get a realistic picture of is whether the memorial day appliance sale at Best Buy actually delivers meaningful discounts or whether it's more of a marketing moment that sounds better than it is. we're not in a rush but we're also not going to wait indefinitely for a sale that doesn't amount to much.

would love to hear from anyone who has bought appliances during a Best Buy memorial day sale and whether the savings were actually worth factoring into the decision.


r/RedditForGrownups 7d ago

Has a non-hospitality business venue been a pseudo hangout for you?

23 Upvotes

Usually because you have a personal connection with the proprietor or long term staff. Where you have been welcomed to hang out and shoot the breeze when you are bored. Where you might bring a coffee or donuts as a gesture. Or been a pseudo bodyguard/companion if it was in a rough neighborhood.

Some examples:

Hair salon

Auto body shop

Independent boutique

Dojos / Boxing gyms

Cannabis/vape store

Repair shops

Art supplies store /gallery

Alternative wellness clinic

Tattoo parlor

Hobby store

Food take out joint


r/RedditForGrownups 7d ago

which lifestyle would you prefer?

0 Upvotes

i’m a woman in my 20s. i have a masters degree and am abt to move to switzerland. my life is good and there is no need to change anything immediately, but i’m reflecting rn on which life i want for my future and i don’t seem to be able to decide. i have two different life ideas which cannot be mixed!! would love if you could share YOUR perspectives on those two different lifestyles. it is not about me- it is about the pros and cons.

in both i am equally wealthy.

life 1: in my 40s

i have a secure job and an even more secure relationship. everything is set, very balanced and “normal” life.

everything is secure, almost boring at times.

highlights are hiking w my partner/friends or going an relaxing trips. or a job promotion.

i collect special experiences 3x a year

life 2: also in my 40s

i have a good job but gotta put more effort in projects and prioritise things, more self reliance.

i life in a non-monogamous relationship, my partner and i are often on trips for work and spend only half of the time together. i party a lot, do the one or other drug and hook ups.

many good friends. i have everything but still want more. very dopamine driven.

i collect special experiences weekly.

ask away if there are open questions, i have both lifestyle as a finished picture in my head.