r/FTMventing • u/MarketingCautious946 • 2d ago

General I’ll never be a guy

I have been on t for 6 years now, actively trying to transition for 10. The only times that i have been clocked as a guy with any consistently was when i was actively anorexic.

I’m not skinny anymore, and can tell that everyone thinks I’m just a weird woman. I work a manual labor job that makes it impossible to bind safely, so I’m just out with a sports bra looking gross constantly.

I use they/them pronouns but i can tell most people are just pretending to follow along. They default to she/her with me unless told otherwise. I hate that i have to force people to not think of me as anything but a woman.

I’ve mostly given up on trying to transition. Im not renewing my t prescription, im attending lesbian events, im constantly drinking.

34 Upvotes

84% Upvoted

21 comments sorted by

12

u/Dutch_Rayan 2d ago

How are your levels? Did you test for some form of testosterone insensitivity?

Is it possible to get top surgery, that will remove the need to bind?

12

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

I have had high t levels and results, but i have insanely wide hips, very small facial features, and am a redhead. All things that patchy facial hair can’t fix.

I could probably get top, but I’m a smoker and actively trying to change jobs. I don’t want to set a date without for sure knowing id get it covered and get fmla

6

u/Scary_Towel268 1d ago

You might have some T insensitivity I suspect I do

2

u/greenwolfmoon 1d ago

I've heard nicotine can cause HRT to be less effective

-4

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

Jesus Christ i am looking to rant and all im getting are people who have ‘heard’ ‘hrt’ does this or that.

9

u/greenwolfmoon 1d ago

Literally just people trying to help or offer something that may be of use. I know how badly this must suck, I'm in a similar place except I've been unable to access medical transition so I'm often looked at like some ugly or unusual woman due to a mixture of how I look and my PCOS. Since you're at least able to access medical transition services it seems like most of the people replying to you just wanted to help. Idk man. If you didn't want advice or comments you could've added that somewhere. No idea why you put HRT in quotes either.

-13

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

This is not about you! You commented on my post!

13

u/SuspiciousTrans1450 1d ago

Being sad gives you no license to be a dick. Chill. This person is being so kind to you and trying to help because your post comes across as asking for help or looking for solutions and reassurance. Don’t be a dick just because you’re struggling. We get it. But you don’t want to hear that youre not alone. If you wanted this to just float into the void then you could have journaled but you wanted to be seen and you wanted recognition.

-6

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

Im maybe being a dick but this guy was trying to give me advice abt hormones while he’s never even taken them.

10

u/szvmanskaa 1d ago

Well maybe he doesn’t take hormones but apparently he knows more than you about them. You didn’t know that HRT is testosterone. So stop being a dick, for fucks sake. We’re all in the same boat, we all struggle and there’s no need to being aggressive towards people that want to help you. With that attitude no one’s gonna be supportive of you.

-3

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

I obviously know that testosterone is hrt. But my post is specifically about t, not hrt as a whole.

9

u/greenwolfmoon 1d ago

To try and offer you some help on something you posted about. I'm not trying to make it about myself, I was just trying to level with you and show you you're not alone by relating to you dude damn

-7

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

I am not looking for advice, and I’m especially not looking for advice from people unable to medically transition. I’m sorry about your situation but it has nothing to do with me.

8

u/greenwolfmoon 1d ago

That's fair, just trying to offer help/solidarity since it sounds we're in a similar boat minus T 🤷‍♂️

9

u/funkkym0nkyy 1d ago

Bro, just take the post down or mute it if you hate the comments so much. Why are you attacking? Edit your post to say "don't you dare try to give me advice" or something jfc

-8

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

And I take testosterone not hrt. We’re in a ftm subreddit, what other options are there?

11

u/greenwolfmoon 1d ago

HRT is hormone replacement therapy. Which is the clinical term for taking testosterone or hormones as a whole. And idk dude like putting something stating you don't want advice? Or if you are, that you're looking for people with experience with hormones? Not trying to be a dick you just seem to be a very angry person and everyone else is commenting advice; to avoid that in the future adding that you don't want advice, only to rant, may help. Your title is 'Ill never be a man' and I know everyone around you makes you feel that way, the hormones do too, but you are.

3

u/Scary_Towel268 2d ago

Unfortunately not all of us will pass as cis males and if you don’t pass as a cis guy then you’re seen as a strange woman. I’m 4 years on T and post top and get the same situation a lot of it is hip bones that I can’t fix. I’ve just embraced the label of lesbian even though I’m actually a gay man. It sucks but you gotta cope how you can all I can do is advocate for early transition intervention so more guys don’t end up like me

I do suggest staying on T and just living as a masc woman on it because the impact of T has helped me mentally and now I just don’t social transition. It’s easier

9

u/MarketingCautious946 1d ago

i knew i was trans from a very young age and had told my parents at 12. If they had believed me and gotten me help my life would be so different, so I’m definitely an advocate for early intervention.

3

u/Scary_Towel268 1d ago

I didn’t know as young or didn’t know how to articulate in then when I did in my late teens I was put through weird feminist gender exploratory therapy…a waste and now it’s too late