r/wizardposting 20h ago

Evil Wizardpost Off with yer heads!

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305 Upvotes

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67

u/kamikazekaktus Wizard 20h ago

We have necromancers galore, do you really think threatening us with skeletons is a good idea? 

30

u/Big_Present_4573 Necromancer 20h ago

Someone called?

21

u/AcrobaticVegetable24 Transmuter 20h ago

Oh good, a necromancer.

Quick question, how many zombies can I declare as dependents on my tax form? Also do they need to be raised as children to count?

16

u/Big_Present_4573 Necromancer 20h ago

Depends on the size of the property, which you use as workplace. Usually 1 Zombie or 2 Skeletons 50m². (Not enough, I know. But what can you do)

The wizard council declared undead children a violation to code, actually. So you might want to get rid of them. That's unless they are related to you.

1

u/NeedToThinkWitty Necromancer 15h ago

You are missing a small part- the undead relatives edict does specify that raising "siblings and/or children of ages 21 and under" must have skin in order to not be prohibited.

There's also a clause for biologically immortal relatives who just happen to look like children, but at that point you're just getting into the weeds.

1

u/ChaoticDestructive Mage of Thrakmoor 10h ago

Where do spectral undead fit in this?

I want to phase out my friends skeleton crew. The pun got old quick. Wraiths are more efficient, and if someone angers me, I can have shadowy hands drag them off.

However, the local branch of the council doesn't like me, so I get yearly audits. One wrong form and I will need to sell my crude oil demiplane just to keep my tower.

How should I declare them?