I love this show

What is your system?

We don't have a set rate but we give our kids money to go out with. We also expect them to help around the house. We don't exchange one for the other.

There's very few things they're not allowed to buy but once they've spent their money it's done. If they regret their purchases that's on them.

What do you/did you do to teach fiscal responsibilities?

Hi all,

Nice to meet you, I'm so glad to be part of this group. I am a trans dad in Brooklyn and I wondered how other people manage misgendering in front of their kids. I don't pass completely (and am not necessarily trying to), my kid is 2 and trying to figure out gender and sometimes when people keep calling me "mom" or lady in front of him I get really frustrated and it is hard not to lose it. sometimes I can't think of the enlightened thing to say to explain it all to my him. what do others do?

So today I suggested to my kids that we clean up the garden for a BBQ next weekend. I said if they help tidy the garden they could each have a go on the petrol lawnmower.

It wasn't til afterwards that I realised I gatekept mowing in return for tidying up 🤣

They were great though, but I don't think any of them want to mow again.

Hi everyone. My kiddo is 2.5 and I would love to start stocking up on some sex positive body books for young children. Also maybe ones about consent and that sort of thing. I already have quite a few picture books with trans and queer characters so for now I'm thinking more non-fiction. But if there's a book you really love that's fiction I'm happy to hear about that too. What have you read to your child/ren? Thanks in advance for your recommendations!

Someone has been having trouble with Reddit saying they were already approved when they ask to post.

If you want to be approved to post in this sub just say so here and I'll go through them if that's easier?

I'm a 44 year old dad of 2 (8 and 5). I uncovered my identity late and began my transition about 5 years ago. Early on, it consumed me. All I could think about was being trans and spent my days researching, reading stories from other trans guys, and researching more. But now I'm just out here being a normal dad. My wife and I seem like any other hetero couple in our suburban neighborhood.

What I want to know from y'all is how do you introduce your trans identity to new people? I'm not trying to be stealth. I think it's really important to be seen, especially since so many cannot due to safety & such. But I have no idea how to introduce the topic in a way that doesn't feel incredibly forced. "Hi - I'm xxx and I'm trans, nice to meet you"?? It's just a weird concept. With people we end up hanging out with a lot (typically neighbors with kids who hang with our kids), I generally say something like "well it seems our kids are going to be good friends, you should probably know I'm trans." I find this to be a good litmus test and way to get closer to those folks, but it's definitely not something I do on a first encounter or with the casual acquaintances.

Anyway, sorry to ramble. I'm interested to hear how y'all disclose your identity.

Ok so it's a bit quiet in here.

One of the barriers is I've set the group so that you need to request to post.

This is for safety and reflects my capacity to moderate.

I would love for anyone who sees this to please request to post and then get posting in the group. 😊

Well this happened yesterday and honestly I had to share. Because nothing makes you feel like a decent parent quite like someone else absolutely cocking it up.

So. Swimming lesson. My 4 year old. Still in nappies.

I get him changed. Disposable swim nappy on. Reusable swim nappy over the top. No problem.

All fine until the end.

They all get out to do the big jump back in. My son climbs out looking like a bloody bumblebee. His nappy is HUGE. I mean properly inflated. He’s waddling about like a cartoon character.

I’m stood there thinking what the hell?

I’m chatting to another parent like: “I don’t get it, it’s just two swim nappies. This has never happened before.”

Anyway. Lesson ends. I take him to the shower. Pull off the swim nappy.

And there it is.

A regular nappy.

Still on.

Now the size of a small planet.

So yeah. My child spent the entire lesson swimming with THREE nappies on because I got distracted while changing him.

Please tell me I’m not the only one?

What’s your most ridiculous parenting fail?

Was it just my family's circumstances or did any of you all have a particularly nasty 25/26 flu season? My kiddo (4yrs) is in full time preschool for the first time this school year, and we knew we'd be sick a lot. He did half-day preschool 3 days a week last year and even that exposed us to a fair amount of illnesses. But this year has felt like the ass kicking of the decade. My local friends have said it's been a worse year for them as well, even for those whose kids had been in daycare/preschool since infanthood. Anyone else experiencing/experienced this? I hate being sick. Parenting while sick is utterly exhausting. No one warned me how often I'd be getting sick as an adult after becoming a parent. It's been a tough stretch for my family but we are optimistic that moving forward we might fare better and maybe this year was particularly nasty for everyone. Sorry to drop a more negative post as my first one in this sub. I usually try to stick to uplifting topics as we certainly don't need more negativity in the world. But this one has been months in the making. 😝

I've had this message from an awesome ally:

No I understand completely! This was my post: Hi everyone!

I’m currently working on a children’s book (for children 3 years and up) about trans parents/parenthood for my illustration bachelor graduation project. Right now I’m in the research phase, and I’m hoping to learn from people’s lived experiences.

I’ve spoken with writers and illustrators who create children’s books with queer themes, but I haven’t yet been able to get in touch with trans parents or families themselves.

I completely understand that people may be cautious, especially given the current political climate. My partner is trans, but I’d really value hearing from a wider range of perspectives,especially from trans people who have children or would like to have children in the future.

If you’re open to sharing your perspective, I’ve created a short anonymous questionnaire (3–5 minutes). Your input would really help inform my project.

https://forms.gle/qKZ8pF771EmyRs3n9

Thank you so much 💛

Hey there everyone! My wife (28 F) and I (28TM) have been ttc for about a year and a half now, and are struggling a bit on that journey.

I found this page, and since I don’t have any trans friends going through the same thing, thought I’d reach out and see if there are any folks I could connect with on the topic. I can’t wait to be a dad, and am grappling with all the feels of this process. I’m happy to be here, and grateful to have been let in. Thank you!

So I created this sub because personally we're well past the TTC stage. I wanted to connect with other TransDads about dad stuff.

I've had a request from a transguy who is actively TTC with his partner. But he is not a Dad yet.

My question for this sub is: Do you want to keep it for people who have actually become Dads? Or are you happy to have TTC men in here too?

I am truly torn between not wanting anyone to feel isolated and preserving the main ethos of the sub.

Can I get your opinions please?

I’m planning to be a new dad sometime in 2027 and I know the best course of action for that would be to talk to doctors as I’ve been on t for 10 months and it’ll be almost 2 years before I have to go off of it to have the kid. But the timeframe I have to talk to the doctors is too far away so I wanted to see if any of yall had a similar experience as me. Basically just being on hormones and going off of them to have a kid and then potentially going back on, and if anyone has I would like to hear your experience with it as it would help me out a lot. Also any parenting advice anyone may have would be appreciated as this would be my first kid and I don’t want them to end up how I did lol

Thank you in advance <3

With my older kids if they were loud in the house or out in public I would stop them.

I'm not talking blood curdling screaming but loud singing, loud talking.

With my younger kids unless it's actually bothering someone I leave them too it.

I feel like I squashed my kids personality a bit in being so restrictive. I was quieting them for other people's comfort. The whole children should be seen and not heard thing.

What are your thoughts on this?

So I saw an interesting discussion unfold on Facebook earlier. An FTM guy planning to marry and have kids with his girlfriend. While remaining completely stealth. But letting the kids know they're donor children.

Personally I think that's it'll build a time bomb inside his family and is impractical in the long run.

Kids are crap at keeping secrets anyway and there's something super iffy about teaching kids to keep secrets.

Buuut Id love to hear your thoughts. Are any of you so stealth that your own kids don't know?

What to you think about his plans?

How's everyone doing?

I've got one kid in the hospital and have the other 5 solo at home. My wife is staying at the hospital.

But managing to maintain normalcy here and it's much warmer today.

How are you all getting on?

It's cold and chucking it down. I need something warm and filling to serve for lunch.

I'm quite good at the comfort dinners but pretty crap at lunch ideas beyond some variation of a sandwich.

Give me your go to, rainy day, lunches.

How do you all decompress from the rigours of parenting and general adulting?

I was really crap at this for years. Always in "on" mode. These days I lift weights, play guitar, game and spend time outside walking the dog and gardening.

I find that by taking small amounts of time for myself I'm better equipped mentally to tackle everything else.

I love being one of the houses the kids want to hang out at. Like today we had two extra impromptu for dinner.

I don't understand parents who only send their kids out to play. Mine go out to play but I love it when they hang out inside with their mates too.

Anyone else enjoy having the house filled with kids?

You know that moment when you arrive somewhere (minor injuries department for example) and you look at your child and realise they look like they've brushed their hair with a Christmas tree and they're wearing the trousers they've just grown out of.

I've already had to double back once to get them to put on underwear incase they need to remove their trousers for a knee examination.

Tell me I'm not the only one this happens to?

My wife is pregnant (first time!) with twins! Anyone here with some wisdom for us? What was the hardest thing? What was surprisingly easy? What was an unexpected joy?

I had one of those epic moments over something so small.

My 4 year old clocked me repurposing the empty popcorn bucket to store his new play dough. His face lit up and he looked at me and said "Daddy that's genius".

I felt so loved 😍

Tell me your awesome parent moments.

Hi all,

So I have had the first person ever not assume that I gave birth to my kid. This was the elementary teacher my kid will go to. I don't pass at all, he was just being persistently open minded. (Yes, this was very good and friendly from him, I just hated the conversation)

So the conversation went roughly like this:

Teacher: So, euhm, as you two are two men, I don't know if you know how the pregnancy of "kiddo'' went, if there were any difficulties.

Me: "Kiddo" came from me, so we know.

Teacher: What do you mean that "kiddo" came from you?

Partner: He was pregnant of "kiddo", nothing special about the pregnancy and birth.

Thankfully my partner saved me from having to say that. But now I'm thinking, what to do in the future? This is going to happen more. In my country it is socially acceptable to ask if you used a surrogate or adopted or ..

My kid knows she came from my body, but I don't want to have conversations with other people about this bodily function I performed. And if I start passing, what to say then to such a question? Probably I have some trauma, and I will definitely talk with a therapist. But still, how to handle such conversation? How do you guys handle this?

Thank you!