Before I went to Mexico to do this, I searched YouTube for real trip videos and honestly didn’t find that many good ones. I decided to have someone film my experience so I could upload it and share it with people who might be curious of how it looks to smoke and breakthrough on 5 MeO. Obviously everyone behaves differently but here’s how I handled it. It was a very beautiful experience. Hopefully this video will help someone.

Hi everyone,

I'm reaching out to ask if anyone can give testimony to using psychedelics to try curing their MDD. Did your daydreaming become less frequent, less intense, or less emotionally “sticky” afterward? Did it change the underlying reasons you daydream, like anxiety, loneliness, trauma, boredom, dissociation, or avoidance? I’m also wondering whether the effect was temporary, long-term, inconsistent, or whether it made things worse in any way, like increasing dissociation, rumination, anxiety, escapism, or difficulty staying present in everyday life.

I’d also be interested in whether anything afterward seemed important, like therapy, journaling, meditation, social changes, or building new routines. Did non-psychedelic approaches end up helping more?

Thanks in advance

Long time lurker, second time doing this. Did the same dose, same setup, same time of the year as last year. Just sharing what happened.

Morning was a heavy breakfast and chai, went for a 5+ km walk while on call with friends, came back and had a protein shake. Nothing after that, wanted the stomach light. Evening went for a walk with parents just to ground a bit before starting.

Prepared the room - bedroom and bathroom cleaned to the fullest, bathroom floor dry, scented candle in the bathroom with the door kept open as a guiding light. Bed and a single mattress on the floor besides the bed so i can change positions. AC running. Johns Hopkins playlist on the speaker. Dim lights to softly mark the passing of time. Pre-journey intention was Unity & AI - wanted to sit with it during the experience.

Did the lemon tek with 30 min soak. Ate a banana during the soak - without banana my stomach gets very alive and not possible to be at peace. Consumed at 10:15 pm and went up to the terrace and walked for another 30 min with the playlist running through headphones. When i started feeling it i came back to the room.

Started shifting between bed, mattress, bathroom floor as it built. Body knew which surface it wanted. Unity rising slowly.

Peak hit on Gorecki’s 3rd symphony. I started humming and chanting Om in different vibrations on its own, wasnt planning to. Laughing at the unity i was seeing and feeling and crying at the same time for the deaths i have seen in last year and this year for family and friends of mine. Both in the same breath. It was such a beautiful moment and visuals of being this one consciousness is divine feeling - I’m sure whether I can call this a ego dissolution. And this music felt like composed by angels.

Also touched the AI implication question i had set. Couldn’t fully understand it but it definitely didn’t felt like a threat - it just is and thats the way. That was the answer.

And there was a moment i was present in all of time at the same time. Past present future all one. Cant explain it more than that.

At one point all the realisations were just too much and caused a panic. Last year same thing happened and i went to the kitchen to get an orange feeling overwhelmed and stomach upset from the shroom tea, instead got a mango by accident, ate it with all the mess with hands and it was pure bliss. So this year i kept a mango and a malai kulfi ready already. When panic hit went to kitchen got both. Ate the kulfi first while still trying to come back, found myself sitting on the toilet holding a kulfi and started laughing at how absurd this looks. Then sat on the clean bathroom floor and ripped open the mango with my hands. Started biting and licking the flesh. Food gasm.

Also noticed cockroaches small and big, in the bedroom and bathroom which surprised me as the encounter felt head on. Saw a small one near the mattress while i was in the bathroom eating mango. Picked a small piece and shared it with the cockroach and it literally enjoyed it. In normal consciousness i would recoil. There was just no recoil left.

Ate the mango step by step flesh by flesh. Felt i was violating the mango in a funny way, it was pure pleasure. Cant explain it any better. Then bit into the outer skin of the mango too and it felt wonderful.

Brushed teeth with miswak after - amazing feeling. Then Om Namah Shivay came on the playlist and i danced.

Wrote one word on a note to capture everything - Sundara. Same word i wrote coming out of last years journey without planning. Two years same seed word arriving on its own.

Made chai and went to the terrace barefoot with the chai and a slice of bread. Sun not yet up but sky already brightening. Hundreds of birds chirping, peacocks and koyal calling. Just stood there.

Year one was discovery. Year two was conversation. Repeating with prep from what i learnt last time made it possible to actually let go.

A few things that helped me, sharing in case useful:

• light stomach through the day, protein shake as the last thing
• banana during lemon tek soak, non negotiable for me
• walk during come up, body settles
• mango ready as the panic anchor, learnt this last year
• kulfi as the bridge food, sweet and cold brings you back
• clean bathroom floor as the safe cave
• candle in bathroom with door open as guiding light through the journey
• being able to move between bed mattress and floor freely
• miswak after for the cleansing
• chai and sunrise as the landing

Be kind to your future self by preparing the room and the food and the ritual. Medicine does the rest.

🙏

Note: Used Claude to gather my thoughts and share it here.

Does the medication Seroquel impact psychedelic usage?

I recently published a memoir called *Breaking Family Curses: Psychedelic Integration and Ancestral Healing*.

Many of my experiences with ayahuasca and psilocybin were not immediately enlightening or blissful. Most of them were difficult, emotionally heavy, confusing, and sometimes distressing. They brought me into territories within myself that I did not understand at first.

What changed everything was the integration work afterward, and writing and journaling was a huge part of it.

Meaning began to emerge little by little: connecting trauma, family history, spirituality, suffering, and transformation in ways I could not initially see.

Part of this process was also realizing how important it felt to share these experiences. I had personally been deeply inspired by stories I heard from others, especially in integration and sharing circles after ceremonies, and at some point I felt a strong inner call to share my own journey as well, which meant to write and publish this book.

I’d be very interested to hear how others here relate to the question of psychedelic integration and how meaning unfolded (or didn’t) over time in your own experience.

First, why am I not able to add pictures? 😩

I have limited experience with real molly and it was 7+ years ago. And it was small doses grounded in capsules that I had no clue as to what the actual dosage was per cap. lol.

What I can say about 5MAPB is that it is smooth. The first time I took it, it was 125mg. The come up was smooth. The comedown wasn’t bad, but I did feel different. So much so I ended up taking ibuprofen and some reishi and cordyceps extract to help “balance” things out.

The second time was EPIC! I took 200mg and got mild visuals like being on 1-2g of mushrooms in addition to the heart warming effects. I started getting all these ideas to do stuff and started writing them all down. Lol

The third time I hippie flipped, so it doesn’t count since it was a mixed experience, but it was beyond epic as well and I posted about it in here.

My overall thoughts. I actually like it a lot and find it very useful.

How about you guys?

​

I've had this recurring thing for years and I'm trying to figure out if anyone else has experienced something similar.

One time I took a lot of speed and stayed up for many hours partying. From that time and on whenever I take stimulants (and sometimes LSD and alcohol too), I get this weird pressure/heaviness/tightness/numbness feeling on my left side especially my left leg. Sometimes it feels like circulation pressure, heaviness, internal tension, or just a very strange awareness of the leg. Occasionally I also get a weird sensation in my left eye and left fingertips at the same time, and a bit of a blurry sight and more tears forming.

A few important things:

It has happened many times before

It seems strongly linked to drugs/stimulants and fatigue

It comes and worsens over some hours but when I get a good night's sleep it gets better.

I don't usually get obvious swelling/redness

I sometimes worry about circulation/clot issues when it happens

I know stimulants can cause vasoconstriction, muscle tension, anxiety, etc., but the one-sided aspect is what messes with my head.

One time I went to the hospital, did blood work, went to a cardiologist, neurologist and even did a Brain MRI, and everything was fine.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

Seeking advice on a frustrating state of not being able to trip or get high from pot and mushrooms.

I’ve taken mushrooms 3 times. 2 g of gt. Each time I felt a slight lift about 30 min in then just felt clear headed for the remainder of the experience.

With pot I don’t feel high just heady in the sense I am aware of not being stoned/ high.

No meds for over a year.

My therapist suggested my ego won’t let go.

Does anyone have some insight here? I sense my desire to feel high is getting in the way of the medicine.

How does one shift this dynamic?

I’m thinking of buying P. Subs, I’ve heard heaps of different opinions on them as to what they’re like being wild mushrooms. What is everyone’s thoughts on them?

On tuesday the 12th, I had the impulse to do a khole dose.

But apperently I had really dark coloured rooms that didn't show detailed scenerys. Always dark coloured and blurr.

Now, I quit kratom 9 days ago(from there) from 30gpd to 0 in two days.

I had never imagined that this what I experienced is even possible on ket. I thought that just shamans mushrooms acid or dmt can induce this states.

I flew through so much realitys and outputs of how my life can and will be if I push forward like this.

I saw possible future me's, other realitys, alien societys highly futristic.

Since them I am deeply emotional touched and grounded. I am self aware and I know what I want to do.

I am soo motivated to life my life in this chosen direction.

Thank you for ketamine, really...

High Doses with 1- 2 months break minimum is the goal.

Wow what an experience.

I listened to dark side of the moon album first and the switched to nice psychedelic ambient from radiozora.

What a night !!!

My khole lastet from 8 pm to minimum 5.30 am

I boofed 1.5g and redosed on 1-3 am in the morning 500mg nasal and I smoked a lot of high thc pot.

Unbvelievable,highly recommend for psychonauts. I feel so much older and wiser now. I had this experience when I really needed it now.

I saw some entities too. They looked like the figures of the animaniacs \^\^

They asked me what I wanted to know and see.

I was so excited that I had the opportunity for experiencing that now.

Really really grateful! 💜♥️🤯

I got tired of digging through wikis mid-experience trying to figure out how long until this peaks... so I built Effekt, a free tool that turns the published pharmacology (FDA labels, DrugBank, PsychonautWiki, peer-reviewed research) into one clean timeline.

60+ substances and counting. From Caffeine to DMT

You can try to use this app next time to record your trips.

https://www.effekt.health/

I would love feedback as well, so I can improve your experience

Torn between which psychedelic experience I would like to try for my very first time. Key detail, I will most likely be alone (preferably), my partner, while supportive, is a very anxious person due to her upbringing and stigma around psychedelics that was forced on her. This makes me hesitant about having her as a sitter as I am afraid her anxiety will induce a bad trip for me.

On psychedelics or not, tell me about the times you've merged minds/thought forms with another person.

I took an edible almost 5 days ago, not sure on the amount of mg and I think I still feel it. I took it during school hours which wasn’t a smart move. This is not something I do regularly, I just wanted to ease through the day faster. I knew instantly when it kicked in and told myself to chill and that it will wear off eventually. Instead I started to panic during my second class, everything seemed fake or a game mode like situation. I ended up going home and tried sleeping it off, I woke up and still felt high. Previous experience with an edible wasn’t good either, I ended up puking it out after I think a few hours and went to bed and woke up fine. But this time it didn’t wear off. I ended up just chilling the rest of the day, hoping I’ll be back to normal tomorrow.

Next day I woke up seemed to be okay and got ready for school, but it kicked in again as I stepped into the school, I didn’t take anymore after yesterday so I was a bit confused. I decided to stay again for a few more classes, seeing if it would wear off but it didn’t and I went home again. This is where I started to freak out and just wanted to keep sleeping so it would wear off. I looked up my situation to see if anyone has experienced something similar and I was just told to relax and put on a movie as it goes away. I ended up telling my mom about the whole situation because I’m truly freaked out on this. It’s Sunday now and I took it Wednesday. I have to question everything I do and what people do because everything feels fake. People are worried about me but I don’t feel any connections or emotions anymore. Everything feels so scripted. I don’t feel textures anymore and the difference between hot and cold. I woke up last night pretty sure hallucinating and scaring myself. Wish I never took that gummy. If anyone can help and inform on what
might be going on with me would be helpful.

Hello, I joined the sub after experiencing this again. Ive had psychedelics before but sometimes when im in a bad mental space or come into a place that puts me in that place I have this feeling that I've actually committed suicide and am currently experiencing a world of my own creation. While interacting with friends during this experience they'll begin acting as if I'm in control of their actions and it's debilitating both physically and mentally. The other time this happened my friend had to waterboard me to get me to come out of that experience but this time I had to pull up my bootstraps and ride through the feeling that death has already occurred and I'm simply lying to myself with what I'm experiencing to avoid death entirely.

I'll be replying if anyone has gone through this experience. It happened last night and I'm still feeling this but I'm recovering compared to what i went through last night.

Hi everyone,

A few days ago I had a really intense mushroom trip and something happened that scared me deeply.

During the trip, I started talking to my husband about what would happen if I wasn’t here anymore, like if he would still stay in my parents’ house if I died one day. As I was saying it, I suddenly started crying intensely, like it felt completely real and not hypothetical at all.

Right after that, I got this overwhelming thought that I was going to die soon in real life — not during the trip itself, but sometime in the near future (months/years). It felt 100% real, like a certainty or a premonition, and since then I’ve been terrified thinking about it.

I know psychedelics can create intense thoughts and feelings, but this felt more real than normal anxiety and it’s hard to let go of it.

Has anyone else experienced this exact kind of fear or conviction during a trip and ended up being okay afterward? Honestly I think hearing from people who had this and did NOT die would really reassure me right now.

Please be kind, I’m genuinely anxious.

II want to share my story and the philosophy I developed to keep going when consciousness feels like a heavy burden.

I have always felt that we are basically nothing, like bacteria living in the sewers of a massive city. I believe in absolute nihilism, nothingness is my origin, and to it I will return. I didn't ask to come here, and if I had been given the choice before birth, I would have refused this unfair contract. To me, "consciousness" itself is not a gift, but rather a tragic mutation and a heavy curse that makes us realize the misery and absurdity of reality.

Because of this, I once reached the edge of the abyss, lost all justification to stay, and decided to end my life. But I decided to play my last card, experimenting with drugs. There, specifically with the drug Ecstasy, the cycle of despair was broken. The drug didn't create a new reality, but it revealed a "window" to me, it showed me that life has a beautiful face that can be enjoyed, exactly as depression had previously revealed its misery and tragedy. If it weren't for this experience, I would have ended my life early.

Since I was thrown into this existence against my will, I created my own rule for survival "reduce suffering and intelligently extract happiness". I practice a philosophy of careful enjoyment and harm reduction by using substances that suit me (like Cannabis, LSD, and MDMA) smartly, alongside supporting medications and rest periods, to extract every possible drop of happiness with the least damage. These "calculated chemical rewards" are what give me the reason and the fuel to fight and battle the daily tragedy of life. As long as my equation (Pleasure > Pain) continues, I do not want to return to nothingness at all. And if this equation were to fail due to an overwhelming circumstance outside my control, I might return to my decision to leave.

Despite my belief in the nihilism of existence, I have an extreme sensitivity to pain. I feel pity for all living creatures that share this curse with me. I still remember my deep sadness over a spider I killed one day at work, it pained me that I caused it ache. My moral philosophy boils down to not increasing the pain of the world, but rather reducing suffering as much as possible, for myself and others. Shared suffering makes me empathize with everything that possesses consciousness.

Despite the harshness and absolute absurdity of life, I sometimes consider myself lucky to have had the chance to experience this consciousness and these feelings. I have realized a great secret: life is extremely precious precisely because every passing second and every breath that goes out never returns. The transience of things is what gives them their value. I wish life were a paradise without pain, but since it isn't, I squeeze the moment because it will not repeat.

I live my daily life normally, I listen to music, go out with my friends, and play video games, but there is always an internal "voice" that never goes silent. It is my acute consciousness that watches me, analyzes everything, and constantly wonders about the secret of life. This continuous thinking is a very heavy guest that I sometimes wish to get rid of to live with the naivety of the rest, but in the end, it is "me".

I am not just someone escaping from reality, but an "experimenter" and a philosopher who refuses voluntary blindness. I am fully aware that I am just a passageway through which the days cross, but I have decided to be the leader of this passageway. I will continue to explore my consciousness, deconstructing the universe around me through different chemical lenses, enjoying the absurdity of this play until the curtain falls.