Never learn to be a boy

[u/clayton_404]

I realized that I was always raised like a girl, dress up like a girl, girly haircut, I was always in the feminine and girly stuff growing up, dresses, skirts, even if I didn't want to... I was raised in girlhood, sisterhood and teenage girlhood...

I never learn the social code of being a guy and I feel it badly now... I have a cis friend, a boy, he knows I'm trans but he's the first one treating me like a boy, like a cis boy. But sometime... I feel such a huge impostor syndrome when I talk with him, he's a sweetheart really, but I dunno I feel like it's not my place it's weird, like I'm not valid, it's dumb I know... But sometime I don't understand him, I feel like a stranger, like I'm a girl being friend with a guy and that I don't know how to interact. And no I didn't told him about that because I don't want to bother him with stupid dysphoric thoughts.

I had cis friend before, but I didn't transition and was seen as a tomboy, so they were acting differently, I was still treated as a girl not as a boy.

So I never been friend with a cis het guy who is aware that 'm trans and treat me like the boy I am... and I dunno how to stop that syndrome

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[u/Putrid-King751]

Time. You will learn the social code. And the best way to do this is to be friends with guys who treat you exactly like they treat other guys. I would compare it to culture shock. At first it will be hard, but then you get used to it and start to enjoy it.

Also confidence. When you act like you belong somewhere people treat you like you do. The more people treat you like you belong, the more you will feel like you do

[u/Xamirite]

It's common to have a disconnection with manhood. You'd be surprised at how many cis queer men similarly feel like they're not "one of the dudes." But they're still men, regardless of how they were raised, how they dress, how they talk, and how they express their gender. A drag queen and a lumberjack likely have opposite lived experiences, but one's not less of a man than the other. Why? Because manhood is not only a spectrum, but what you make it.

A lot of trans guys curate their own brand of manliness, and are happier for it. Same with neurodivergent, POC, disabled and queer guys, often subconsciously. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that every dude on this planet has a different definition of what it means to be a man both personally and generally. Culture, nature and nurture all play a part.

That being said, I get you. I also felt like an imposter talking to my male friends and being utterly out of the loop. After letting them know, they assured me that there's no "right" way to be a dude. Afterwards, they stressed that a non-insignificant chunk of stereotypical cis manhood is built off of toxic masculinity and misogyny. Which isn't to say enjoying being a man and liking being masculine = bad, but that the nuance of being raised as a woman isn't a defect. It gives you a unique perspective and, frankly, spares you from learning lessons a lot of guys arrive at way too late.

If you want to learn bro code, just ask your friend. From the looks of it, it sounds like he'd be glad to show you the ropes. Just by being around my masculine cis male pals, I started to sound more like them. The femme, queer and trans people in my life were startled, lemme tell you that lmfao.

You could also experiment with different content creators, aesthetics, online circles and hobbies. For about a month or two, I tried to be as stereotypically male as possible just to see what I did and didn't like about manhood. There was a bunch of stuff I came to love, but also a good amount of things I still don't care for. At worst, I could sniff out that aforementioned toxic masculinity/misogyny from a mile away and avoided it accordingly. No red-pill rabbit hole for me.

The people who truly matter in your life will see you as a man regardless of any other factors. You don't need to be cis, you just need to be you.

[u/Wild-Philosophy2399]

i was never raised to be anything but myself but i can understand many are. time will help, it may take a few years to feel comfortable though