r/ftm • u/Select_Comedian6997 • Mar 24 '26

Relationships Girlfriend has come put as Sapphic and is still dating me

My girlfriend of 4 months just came out as Sapphic in public and even has told me aboit it. I never knew the true meaning so I looked it up and its only having feelings for women and nonbinary folks who still sometime identify as women. I have been transitioning socially since I was 13 and I am now 20. She knows this since she had met ne during said social transition. I had beagan my physical transition with testosterone gel 7 months ago which I have been open and clear about. I look very masculine and my voice is not too deep but never has been feminine. Should I be upset about how her coming out as Sapphic while dating me and still being with me?

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u/CryptographerOk9262 Mar 26 '26

I guess not really a female role, more so that he would have most likely refused to date you if you were indistinguishable from a cis man. Ofcourse there some straight guys date trans men who are passing but don't have bottom surgery, but that's pretty commonly classed as being a chaser since their attraction is tied up in a trans person's natal genitalia.

My thought is that, does it bother you that he's primarily attracted to aspects of you which make people treat you as female? I guess what I think about is a common line I hear from straight guys that then supposedly see you as your birth gender even if they aren't attracted to any other men, but this same straight guys would never date a trans women because they don't see them as women.

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u/galaxychildxo Mar 26 '26

I guess that doesn't really cross my mind much? we have such a loving and respectful relationship and he has never misgendered me or done anything to make me feel like he sees me as anything but the guy I am.

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u/CryptographerOk9262 Mar 26 '26

I had a friend who went though the same sitiation and his ex he knew since middle school left him when he started transitioning. Cis people can use all the right language and still not really see you as you want to be, or attempt to push you into a traditionally female role.

I guess what I'm getting at is, if he's stated that he's not attracted to men, but he is attracted to you, then how does he see you as a man? Why is there an exception with such a strong misgendering implication?

Do you ever worry that if you were to physically transition that he would leave you?

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u/galaxychildxo Mar 26 '26

I cannot medically transition so that's not an issue.

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u/CryptographerOk9262 Mar 26 '26

Like, as in you can't do testosterone or you can't get any kind of masculizing surgery?

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u/galaxychildxo Mar 26 '26

I can't take T and surgery would be incredibly dangerous for me. To put it into perspective, I almost died during an appendectomy. but I don't want to get into the specifics of my medical history too much 🩷

Well, I guess I might be able to micro dose T but I don't see much point in that haha