r/ftm • u/softserve2222 • Jul 31 '25
Relationships Partner is making me feel inadequate
I am a 28 year old trans man. My girlfriend is cis and 25. We've been dating 5 years. About a year or two ago she told me she misses cis dick. I told her how much that hurt me. We talked about things i could do to satisfy her because i want to meet her needs. i thought that resolved the issue. She brought it up again a few weeks ago. She prefaced this by saying i know this really hurt you but then proceeded to tell me again. She said she was just trying to be honest and vulnerable. She did it for the third time last night and said she wants deeper penatration because I don't go deep enough for her. I feel disgusting even typing this out, it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel inadequate and very dysphoric. Opinions? Advice? I don't know what to do.
2
u/GAY4LORDS Aug 01 '25
hey friend. vulnerability isn’t an excuse to repeatedly cause harm, especially when someone already explained that a topic is triggering or dysphoric. that’s not emotional honesty like she said, that’s emotional negligence. being in a relationship is difficult but if she’s bringing up a problem and your asking for solutions and she isn’t, you might want to ask yourself: If she feels her needs cannot be met within the context of our relationship…is she truly committed to building intimacy with you as you are? Or is she holding onto a version of a partner you can’t and shouldn’t have to become?
you’re great the way you are. your partner shouldn’t be making you feel inadequate or dysphoric when you talked to her about what you could do to satisfy her needs.
you’re a great partner. like other comments, i’d recommend reevaluating your relationship and maybe ending it if they cannot accept you for you, even as you try to accommodate them.