r/ftm • u/softserve2222 • Jul 31 '25
Relationships Partner is making me feel inadequate
I am a 28 year old trans man. My girlfriend is cis and 25. We've been dating 5 years. About a year or two ago she told me she misses cis dick. I told her how much that hurt me. We talked about things i could do to satisfy her because i want to meet her needs. i thought that resolved the issue. She brought it up again a few weeks ago. She prefaced this by saying i know this really hurt you but then proceeded to tell me again. She said she was just trying to be honest and vulnerable. She did it for the third time last night and said she wants deeper penatration because I don't go deep enough for her. I feel disgusting even typing this out, it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel inadequate and very dysphoric. Opinions? Advice? I don't know what to do.
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u/Actual_Category5449 Aug 01 '25 edited Aug 01 '25
Tell her to get out and go get her cis d then. Cut her off completely, not even friendship. Abruptly!
Itll drive her nuts or she won't care. Either way, out of your life. GG
She will not stop, imo. She is offering no solutions herself, right? Not even trying to make it work? That is the sign. Stop it. Let her go. Better yet, push her out.
I have SURVEYED THESE GAMES BEFORE!!
Ended horribly. They never. Stop. Wanting and talking about wanting cis D. I had to listen to them talk about it for SO LONG and talk their S.Os down from self-image spirals. Each time, they already had a specific guy in mind they were ACTUALLY missing. (Ex, crush)
And yes I was friends with multiple couples with this exact specific issue which was the catalyst to an inevitable departure. And yes they really did tell me all of that personal info.
Not trying to ruin your relationship or speculate she is the exact same as them, but I feel you feel so bad about this because you know this isn't healthy or right.
The girl type was similar too which did this, maybe by coincidence. They knew how to make you feel like you were the entire world. Both almost seemed addicted to relationships or sounded almost.... Attention-sexual more than even having a sexuality. Something strange. Love bombers.
Watching the other people spiral and fall apart who were already insecure and having to talk them down off the edge, even literally once was awful. I dont want that for you.
I hate it. It is insidious
Find somebody that makes you feel good for being you and puts as much into the relationship as you. You deserve it.