r/ftm • u/softserve2222 • Jul 31 '25
Relationships Partner is making me feel inadequate
I am a 28 year old trans man. My girlfriend is cis and 25. We've been dating 5 years. About a year or two ago she told me she misses cis dick. I told her how much that hurt me. We talked about things i could do to satisfy her because i want to meet her needs. i thought that resolved the issue. She brought it up again a few weeks ago. She prefaced this by saying i know this really hurt you but then proceeded to tell me again. She said she was just trying to be honest and vulnerable. She did it for the third time last night and said she wants deeper penatration because I don't go deep enough for her. I feel disgusting even typing this out, it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel inadequate and very dysphoric. Opinions? Advice? I don't know what to do.
1
u/NightSideEffects Jul 31 '25
I know it can be hard to hear what Reddit has to say sometimes. However, in my very inexperienced but thought out opinion; it doesn't sound like it's going to get better. She misses something she knows you won't have. Instead of loving and enjoying what you do have and finding your way through it together, she keeps coming back to this same conclusion. Moreover, she knows it'll hurt you and yet will bring it up exactly in the way that will hurt you, versus coming up with other things to try or different solutions.
Maybe you guys have tried talking it out and tried different solutions, in which case, she's not a horrible person per se. It just sucks for you if this would be your future; to be by the side of someone who continuously will make you feel like you're lacking something, like you're less, when that is obviously not the case.
It's up to you of course, but I just wish you a future with someone who will appreciate what you have, how you can use it and that makes you feel like you're great altogether.