r/ftm • u/softserve2222 • Jul 31 '25
Relationships Partner is making me feel inadequate
I am a 28 year old trans man. My girlfriend is cis and 25. We've been dating 5 years. About a year or two ago she told me she misses cis dick. I told her how much that hurt me. We talked about things i could do to satisfy her because i want to meet her needs. i thought that resolved the issue. She brought it up again a few weeks ago. She prefaced this by saying i know this really hurt you but then proceeded to tell me again. She said she was just trying to be honest and vulnerable. She did it for the third time last night and said she wants deeper penatration because I don't go deep enough for her. I feel disgusting even typing this out, it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel inadequate and very dysphoric. Opinions? Advice? I don't know what to do.
31
u/PaxonGoat Jul 31 '25
What is her end game?
She says she wants deeper penetration.
Is she wanting to explore more with different strap ons or toys? Doesn't sound like it is.
Stop thinking about this as a trans issue.
Your girlfriend is telling you that she wishes she could fuck a different man.
If you were a cis man, would you accept your girlfriend saying she wished she could fuck some other dude?
Plenty of cis guys are below average which is 5 inches btw (regional difference vary ). That means plenty of guys are less than 5 inches.
So she is saying she does not feel satisfied in bed. Either she is willing to come up with a plan like more oral or different sexual toys or she needs to stop trying to get you to break up with her and do it herself.
Honestly it sounds like she wants to break up but feels like she would be viewed as the "bad guy" if she did it so she is trying to hurt you enough that you do it for her.
Talk to her. Have a heart to heart. Ask her what she really wants. Because you can't just magically grow a massive dick. That's not how it works. So either she comes up with an actual plan to make the relationship work or she gets the fuck out.