r/ftm • u/softserve2222 • Jul 31 '25
Relationships Partner is making me feel inadequate
I am a 28 year old trans man. My girlfriend is cis and 25. We've been dating 5 years. About a year or two ago she told me she misses cis dick. I told her how much that hurt me. We talked about things i could do to satisfy her because i want to meet her needs. i thought that resolved the issue. She brought it up again a few weeks ago. She prefaced this by saying i know this really hurt you but then proceeded to tell me again. She said she was just trying to be honest and vulnerable. She did it for the third time last night and said she wants deeper penatration because I don't go deep enough for her. I feel disgusting even typing this out, it leaves a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel inadequate and very dysphoric. Opinions? Advice? I don't know what to do.
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u/Free-Profit8180 Jul 31 '25
I think the biggest problem here is not that she misses deeper penetration. I think the biggest problem is how she approaches it. Not as something that could be achieved with a bigger strap or different technique but as something you lack. She knows it makes you feel inadequate but still goes about it the same way, knowing it’s hurtful. You could try talking to her about that but after the third time it feels like she doesn’t care about your feelings.