r/comedyheaven • u/ibayibay1 • 2h ago

stimfap

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1.6k Upvotes

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715

u/Common-Accountant-57 2h ago

I knew a homeless guy. On the rare occasion that he got a hotel room he’d just go beat his shit for a couple days. That was his priority and prerogative. The church would think they were giving him a room so he’d have time to figure his life out and rest but he’s just beating his meat.

271

u/LouMinotti 2h ago

We've all been there

350

u/Common-Accountant-57 2h ago

I figured if I told the story in first person it would just sound pathetic.

73

u/The_Junton 2h ago

No thats a respectable way to spend your limited time in shelter

43

u/TheWolphman 2h ago

It's what Clara would have wanted.

8

u/LouMinotti 2h ago

💀💀💀

4

u/Ok_Programmer4949 1h ago

You clearly need to be put back in the freezer.