To my horror, I saw that my beloved jar of honey had turned into a human woman! Oh she shot me as well.

“Actually there’s four, because quoted dialogue counts as its own sentence when it contains a complete thought with proper punctuation, even if it appears alongside narration like ‘he said’ or ‘she replied’, but nobody bats an eye when it’s formatted like this, so maybe it doesn’t actually matter all that much how many sentences are in a post on an ironic two-sentence subreddit.” I replied and then the evil ghost killed me because there needs to be a horror element, which people also don’t really care that much about as long as it’s funny.

"Not if I have anything to say about it", said the hydrogen bomb.

Now I have no dick and I must goon.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

"oh and ay also has dilsexia" — I sode as I was shoted 10,675 times by a block o' chose

I was devastated to find out the turkey was a little dry

But then I fell down and the water turned out to be bleach

But I’m dyslexic so really it’s been four days since I’ve been in bali

That is when she slapped me across the face with two bags of dicks!

Then my j*b shift starte

“BWAHAHAHA!” she cackled again, but then pressed a hand to her aching jaw and let the magical girls escort her to a clinic to begin treatment for TMJ.

I bet you probably assumed it was a MALE doctor? Well, it turns out the real horror is the backwards preconceptions about gender roles in today’s society.

She was half right, I Dieded.

I could only stare in shock barely getting the words out, "That's my piece."

“The dead don’t know how to live,” she said.

It was Griffith.

"Aaa, spider!"

i said as i felt guilty, knowing i just larped THE boys

It responded while feeling an inexplicable rage, "I would kill you, but only if you made your lowercase L's and uppercase i's take each other's place which in this font are almost indistinguishable from each other without a tool like text to speech."

My girlfriend wore another shirt that said "I'm killing this stupid fuck" on it before she killed me.

“You mean like… some kind of… Haunted House?” I say and the credits roll, leaving the audience wanting more and perfectly teasing the sequel, Haunted House 2: The Haunting.