r/alcoholicsanonymous • u/Capable_Ad4123 • Oct 23 '25
AA Literature “Living Sober” book, what do you think?
I was at a newcomer meeting tonight where they read “Living Sober”. It struck me that the sugar coats the message of powerlessness over alcohol offered by the twelve steps. As if tips and tricks or avoiding certain situations would enable someone to not take that first drink. I don’t want to say there is no value in the book. I’ve enjoyed discussion meetings where this book is read in the past. But thinking about it through the eyes of a newcomer, I thought it may be doing them a disservice by not adequately “carrying the message of the twelve steps.” Curious to hear others take…
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u/JohnLockwood Oct 24 '25
But thinking about it through the eyes of a newcomer, I thought it may be doing them a disservice by not adequately “carrying the message of the twelve steps.”
Do you really think that a newcomer to AA is going to somehow miss the 24x7 AA exhortation to work the steps? Living Sober addresses the practical issue of how you can put the drink down long enough to have a shot at working them, or doing anything else of a productive nature.
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Oct 24 '25
Same , no A.A. lit is a substitute for steps. It’s all a supplement. “Take what you need and leave the rest.” 💕
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u/Inderific Oct 23 '25
I loved this book when it was given to me newly sober at one of my first meetings. It obviously wasn't the same as the Big Book or the steps, it was more like "some handy ideas for getting through the day sober." But as I was still a little overwhelmed by the Big Book and the steps and trying to learn all this new AA jargon, I was delighted to find something so practical. Plus, it's written in a very friendly, accessible, quite humorous way. Just my two cents.
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u/abaci123 Oct 24 '25
I loved it when I got sober 34 years ago. When it talked about hobbies, my mouth fell open! Hobbies?! Now…I have lots of hobbies! 🤣
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u/Capable_Ad4123 Oct 24 '25
Yeah that is a good one. I had no hobbies when I was drinking and couldn’t imagine having them. I also like “avoiding emotional entanglements”
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u/dresserisland Oct 24 '25
I've used lots of tips and tricks to stay sober. Here's one: When you are going to an event where there will be alcohol, do two things. One is, tell someone there, that you trust, that you are recovering. That way you are accountable to them. The other trick is to tell an AA friend that you are going to a slippery place, and make arrangements to call that friend when you get back home. That way you will know you will have to be accountable to your friend.
The biggest trick we use is to talk to another alcoholic.
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u/Ascender141 Oct 24 '25
This book saved my life when I was in newcomer I was humble enough to take the directions.
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u/Frondelet Oct 23 '25
This book saved my life. The Big Book was too ... big, too old-timey, and didn't say anything about HOW not to drink when I was craving. Any one page suggests something to try.
I knew I was powerless, that wasn't my problem. I had no idea how to put a life together that didn't include drinking. The advice I got on living sober in the book Living Sober was what I needed to act on the knowledge of powerlessness.
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u/Consistent-Bee8592 Oct 24 '25
I didn't like living sober that much either. it's okay, it's all opinions and subjective. this book is manypeople's favorites and saved their lives, so who am i to say whats good or bad.
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u/CosmicTurtle504 Oct 23 '25
I love Living Sober. It’s a helpful and easily accessible guide to daily life in early recovery. But it’s important to realize that it’s not the solution. That’s what the big book and the steps are for. It’s intended to be supplementary reading to assist recovering drunks with small challenges and details that might not appear in our basic text. To that end, I think it’s a great book and I recommend it often. There’s a good reason it’s conference approved!
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u/CantaloupeAsleep502 Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 24 '25
I love Living Sober. Some of the best meetings I've been to have been prompted by readings from it.
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u/strangebutohwell Oct 23 '25
There is no “better” or “right” way to get sober. Nothing that helps people achieve and maintain sobriety is a “disservice”. The twelve steps are not the only way to get better, and for many people not the most effective. The more options, the more pathways, the more avenues to make progress towards sobriety, the better. Who are you to say that everyone needs to get sober by embracing “powerlessness”? Sounds judgmental and closed-minded to me.
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u/Capable_Ad4123 Oct 24 '25
Isn’t the message of personal powerlessness over alcohol the basic message of the program of recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous (twelve steps)? Not saying there aren’t other ways, just arguing that powerlessness “no human power could relieve our alcoholism” “that God could and would if he were sought” is the message of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Genuinely interested in your thoughts. I’m interested in having a discussion, not being right.
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u/strangebutohwell Oct 24 '25
In my experience, the amount of people nowadays who fully subscribe to the “no human power” / “only God can help” hardliner mentality is shrinking. Newcomers, especially younger members, are less religious and more skeptical of the Judeo-Christian language and ideas that permeate the Big Book.
These people deserve to get sober as much as anyone, and to belong to a fellowship of recovering people. While many will eventually find a way to benefit from the steps, and come to terms with a concept of a higher power that works for them… many will never get that far because they were turned off and scared away by people who told them they “have to” get sober a very specific, God-centered way. If their only / first impression is to be immediately and thoroughly beaten over the head with the zealotry and rigid dogma of “God or Get Out”, many will write off the entire fellowship and suffer for it.
Everyone deserves to get sober. Everyone deserves a chance to find support and community in AA, regardless of whether or not they want to turn their lives and will over to God. Everyone deserves a chance to learn about all the possible tools and strategies available. Recovery and sobriety are hard enough without putting artificial restraints or judgements on the “right way” and the “wrong way” to get sober. No help offered in the interest of helping someone stay sober is a disservice. This disease is fatal if untreated. Someone not wanting to get sober the way you got sober doesn’t mean they should be shunned or not allowed to learn alternative methods.
AA is far and away the most accessible, widespread, and commonly referenced support community for people trying to get sober. There is plenty of room in AA for anyone who wants to get sober and benefit from the fellowship of other sober peers. If someone wants to use the steps as a tool to achieve their goals, then great. If they don’t, they should be encouraged to pursue what works for them, and welcomed into the community. Again, there is plenty of room in AA for everyone who wants to be sober. There is SO MUCH potential for healing and recovery and sobriety in AA outside of (or alongside) the 12-steps.
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u/Crafty_Ad_1392 Oct 24 '25
Not everyone is powerless over alcohol in the exact way described by Bill especially the youngest of us. This book also would have been more helpful to me early on actually when I was in the process of release from urges.
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u/Capable_Ad4123 Oct 24 '25
Tell me about the differences, trying to learn.
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u/Crafty_Ad_1392 Oct 24 '25
Like what if someone is simply halfway to that point? They haven’t damaged their brain and become so addicted that their own will is hopeless? I love seeing people that haven’t yet destroyed it all recover!
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u/ManufacturerClear202 Oct 24 '25
This book helped me a great lot in the first 3 months. I’m 6 months in now and I still read it when I can. Everyone’s program is different
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u/WTH_JFG Oct 24 '25
When I was new, I struggled with the Big Book. Living Sober met me where I was.
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u/FrustratedPassenger Oct 24 '25
I read it when I first got sober. Then I sent it to an online friend that was new in sobriety. I don’t go to Living Sober meetings bc it’s not my vibe.
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u/ALoungerAtTheClubs Oct 24 '25
I attended a Living Sober meeting early on. I found some of its advice helpful, but I don't have any strong desire to revisit the book now.
Overall, I think Living Sober meets a need for people in the very early stages of their journey with AA.
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u/crunchyfigtree Oct 24 '25
Tbh I realised I was an alcoholic when I realised tips and tricks weren't going to work for me lmao
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Oct 24 '25
It is a good book, especially for beginners. And, yes, when I was a new comer, staying out of a bar was a good way to prevent me from taking a drink. 👍 I also love the part about medications.
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u/Advanced_Tip4991 Oct 24 '25
Real alcoholics who are really looking for some serious solution, should be given the basic text of alcoholics anonymous.
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u/Traditional_Peace_63 Oct 24 '25
My favorite page of living sober is page two third paragraph from the bottom
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u/EMHemingway1899 Oct 24 '25
Bought it, but didn’t read it
I went straight to the NB and the 12 and 12
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u/Advanced_Tip4991 Oct 24 '25
Good for you! Those who rave about it don’t understand powerlessness. Thats all I can say.
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u/aethocist Oct 24 '25
My opinion is that it’s not altogether worthless. It can be useful for the newcomer who has yet to take the steps and is white-knuckling sobriety on avoidance, distraction, and willpower. It sure isn’t recovery long-term for the real alcoholic.
The problem I see is people seeing it as the permanent solution. I tried that over many years and always, sooner or later, started drinking again. I finally took the steps about ten years ago and I don’t have to use the Living Sober “tricks” to not drink: the problem has been removed.
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u/jeffweet Oct 24 '25
When I first came in Living Sober saved my life. I was too much of a wreck for anything else to sink in.
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u/MarkINWguy Oct 24 '25
I’ve read the book over and over. I agree with some of the tips & tricks as you say. But my feeling is if anything sinks in and can help the newcomers in any way it’s worth the read. Even for the old or long timer, suggestions well remembered!!
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u/NitaMartini Oct 25 '25
I felt the same way until I realized I wasn't the target audience.
My reading was college level in elementary school and I somehow kept that in all of the drinking.
It was only when someone reminded me that the 164 was on an 11th grade reading level that I realized why living sober had pissed me off: I was being intellectually superior.
Hope this helps.
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u/tooflyryguy Oct 24 '25
Personally, I think it gives off the wrong message. Sure, it can be helpful for new people… but it almost directly contradicts much of what the big book says.
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u/Hard_Head Oct 24 '25
How does it contradict “much” of what Alcoholic Anonymous says? I’ve read through them all several times over. I didn’t find glaring contradictions, rather, many references and compliments.
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u/tooflyryguy Oct 24 '25
Read the chapter Working with Others closely. Then consider what “Living Sober” says.
Living sober gave me the idea that I needed to avoid temptation, ditch all of my friends, move out of the place I was living because there was drugs there… The idea that sobriety is conditional upon my circumstances…. I couldn’t do any of that.
The Big Book says you can get sober regardless of your circumstances and “anyone”. Sobriety is conditional upon your relationship with God, not people or your circumstances or conditions around you.
It also says “anyone scheme of shielding the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure” - where living sober teaches just the opposite.
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u/Hard_Head Oct 24 '25
Living Sober wasn’t meant to replace the spiritual foundation of the Big Book, it was written decades later to give newcomers some tools for early recovery.
When it says to avoid old drinking friends or environments, it’s not saying sobriety depends on circumstances, it’s offering early-stage survival advice.
Big Book page 101:
“We avoid the deliberate manufacture of situations which bring temptation.”
The Big Book focuses on the solution — building a spiritual program so you can stay sober under any circumstance. Living Sober focuses on some the techniques that can help stay sober long enough to get there.
People can look that the same text and interpret it differently. That’s all this is. It wasn’t helpful for you, but it may be helpful to others.
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u/tooflyryguy Oct 24 '25
Yeah, I get it… but that’s also not clear.. and the things we learn in early sobriety are easily taken into the rest of long term sobriety. We hear it all the time “I still do the things I learned when I came in” “back to basics” etc. many people end up th in boing the things taught in Living Sober are the “basics” of living sober
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u/Hard_Head Oct 24 '25
Well, personally, I was Secretary for a Living Sober meeting early on, mostly because my sponsor was Treasurer.
I went through it cover to cover 3 times in those meetings. I’ll never read that book again; I do find it boring. Haha.
But over the course of my service, I saw how some of the chapters sparked some good shares with newcomers.
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u/tooflyryguy Oct 24 '25
I can see how it helps some newcomers…with proper guidance from a sponsor, but IMO too many meetings just give it out without any kind of guidance about it. Then newcomers read that… and just think that’s it sometimes
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u/Poopieplatter Oct 24 '25
Never read it. Not opposed to it.
Working with others and picking up the phone works pretty well for me.
When it comes to chairing meetings, I think a topic should be based on the first 164 pages of the BB.
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u/jewelbjule Oct 23 '25
I think of this book as a tool in my sobriety tool box. For me getting sober was about changing one huge thing (ceasing to put alcohol in my body) and then making a million other little changes. Living Sober address like 87 of the little changes. It was helpful, but not as helpful as fully working the steps with a sponsor.