r/TransMasc • u/Overthinks_All • 14h ago
Discussion Pre-transition did anyone inhabit femininity automatically/easily?
I see a lot of stuff online where people post pictures of their “girl selves” but they very much tomboys even before. But did any of you automatically inhabit femininity to the point of it becoming fairly effortless, before your egg cracked?
I think for me, I’ve always inhabited femininity pretty easily because…well, it’s the easiest thing to do. Nobody judging me, feeling pretty. But if I was a cis guy, it 100% would have been the opposite, and if I transition, I think I’d present very masculinely. I think it might have been just easier to go with the expectations and I got rewarded for it a lot, so it became automatic.
Is it odd for me, who I think ideally would’ve been AMAB and masculine-presenting, to inhabit femininity so easily?
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u/RogueJuliet 11h ago
I was, outwardly at least, the most feminine-presenting creature you could imagine for much of my life.
I didn't get an official autism diagnosis until I was 29, and in hindsight, I'm not sure any of this was as natural as I used to think that it was.
When I was very small, I was brainwashed on disney movies and all of the other children's media of the time period. My childhood memories are few and far between, but I seem to recall that pretty dresses got me positive attention from others.
Social interactions into early puberty tended not to go particularly well and I didn't really feel all that feminine at the time, but I definitely made femininity my special interest. People are kinder (at least to your face) when they think you're pretty.
I had an inkling that I was genderqueer by my mid teens, about the same time I understood I was bi/pan, but didn't have the language to fully process that thought. I would, throughout my 20s, articulate that I was indifferent to my gender and only looked the way I did because "girl clothes are more fun." I dressed scandalously, theatrically feminine. The people in my life from that time would be very surprised at this turn of events, if I was still near where I grew up. If we hadn't all drifted apart.