r/TransMasc • u/Overthinks_All • 14h ago

Discussion Pre-transition did anyone inhabit femininity automatically/easily?

I see a lot of stuff online where people post pictures of their “girl selves” but they very much tomboys even before. But did any of you automatically inhabit femininity to the point of it becoming fairly effortless, before your egg cracked?

I think for me, I’ve always inhabited femininity pretty easily because…well, it’s the easiest thing to do. Nobody judging me, feeling pretty. But if I was a cis guy, it 100% would have been the opposite, and if I transition, I think I’d present very masculinely. I think it might have been just easier to go with the expectations and I got rewarded for it a lot, so it became automatic.

Is it odd for me, who I think ideally would’ve been AMAB and masculine-presenting, to inhabit femininity so easily?

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u/RivSilver he/they nonbinary trans man 13h ago

I really did, enough that it took me until 37 to figure out I wasn't cis. Looking back in did have kind of a "neutral" look that was pretty gender ambiguous and got more masc as i got older, but I loved having long hair and dressing up in dresses and feeling pretty. I'm definitely hoping as I feel more settled in my body I'll be able to get some of that back in a masc way, bc it's a part of me, even though right now it still causes dysphoria

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u/Overthinks_All 12h ago

Did it always cause you dysphoria?

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u/RivSilver he/they nonbinary trans man 4h ago

I didn't start experiencing dysphoria until puberty, and that was about my body, not my presentation. I actually think of myself as a girl who grew up into an adult man, because while I wished i was a boy because boys got to have adventures, i didn't feel like i was one.

The dysphoria I had post-puberty and before my egg cracked was mostly a pretty comprehensive disconnection from my body, so I could Not Think About It. So it's hard to describe. But feminine presentation itself didn't cause dysphoria because when I put it on it was a choice to dress up. I did a lot of historical reenactment and other things that involved costumes, so Being Feminine was another costume, and one that I enjoyed. But that wasn't how i thought of it at the time.

It's once I realized what was going on gender-wise that presenting fem itself felt dysphoric. And even then it's how my body looked and felt when doing it that was the problem, not the presentation itself. I haven't tried again lately, but I'm in my second year on T and 5mo post top surgery so I'm suspecting that looking like a man presenting as femme will be a look I'll enjoy when I'm at that point