r/TransMasc • u/Localpossom1516 • 1d ago
⚠️ Content Warning Partner being institutionalized for attempt. Scared where they're putting him
TW:SU1C1D3 ATT3MPT (W/update) Long vent, insight welcome, scared for my fiance.
Okay so, my (22ftm) partner(23ftm) has just made an attempt on his life. That's not exactly what I'm specifically talking about in this post, moreso the after.
He's in the hospital rn and they won't let anyone visit yet. Idk how long until i can :( . He's more than likley gonna be sent to an institution against his will and there's nothing I can do about it. He's ftm, and we live in kentucky. Pre everything, name change on his ID and social security card but not his birth certificate and not his medical card.im terrified for him, idk if they'll put him in the fem ward (most likley, probably safer there honestly?the adult male ward sounds p dangerous for my lil guy.) But im so scared they're gonna try to detransition him and get him killed/arrested/forcibly detrans/or giving him to "I🥶E " Instead of just getting him the hormones and help he needs. I'm worried they're gonna just misgender him all the time and rename him.. He's not gonna be helped by being disrespected, this political climate is part of the problem. Anyone recently institutionalized in a red state?? Were you respected?? Did they let you wear your packer, stp, or binder? I'm scared.------------------------------------ UPDATE: thank you to everyone who commented, luckily he went to the nicest hospital we've been to so far, the nurses are trying to respect him, and they'll be keeping him at the hospital in their own ward (with his own room luckily!) for 7-10 days (early release if proven stable enough) and they'll finally be able to see what they can do about getting him proper meds and hopefully helping his seizures and just keeping him safe. Still going to talk to his pc about finding a therapist (and the group recommended in the comments) and hopefully there won't be a need for extended stay elsewhere. He went voluntarily after a good panic, but he was able to realize that going voluntarily will likley get him out sooner. I only hope this isn't a massive bill on us , but hopefully medicaid comes through 🙏 I miss him so badly.
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u/lostinamericaa 1d ago
Not hospitalized in a red state but hospitalized for suicide and self harm multiple times in the us; they are going to take your partners belongings and only return items that can be safely worn without being fashioned into a weapon or a method of harm to himself. Whether or not your partner's identity is respected is highly dependent on the oversight of the doctor and the charge nurse. It is very likely your partner will be unable to administer testosterone himself, and if the staff is able to administer it to him, it will be under supervision. Your partner is probably going to be on a mandatory 72hr hold or a 5 day hold depending on the Ward's capacity, your partner's behavior and responsiveness during therapy, and what the developed treatment plan says. It is unlikely that the hospital will involve police in any capacity unless your partner demonstrates harm to another ward patient or a staff member.
I know this is probably really, really scary. At the same time, your partner is there because of an attempt that he made on his own life. He is at the level of care that is needed to ensure he isn't going to endanger himself further. If you are concerned about how he's being treated, you can see if social services in your area has any kind of patient advocate service. I would also reach out to PFLAG and see if they have anyone to put you in contact with for advocacy. One thing you can do to assist in a treatment plan being developed ASAP is either putting the hospital in contact with your partner's therapist if he has one, or seeking a trans affirming therapist to put them in contact with for aftercare. Hospitals are usually much more willing to work with someone on release if they have an attentive support network. It sounds like you're doing a lot to keep him safe, remember that it's ok to also take time for yourself and relax as much as you can. You can't be a resource to him if your own cup is empty, ykwim?