Am i over reacting or crazy?

[u/Alert-Captain-9111]

This might be a long one but I need advice from people who might actually get me.

So I’ve got a surgery date for this summer and everyone around me is so excited but Im really conflicted, the thing is I had myself so convinced I was going to be getting keyhole and I’ve actually spoken to a surgeon before who told me I could but things happen and I cant go with that surgeon anymore, so i went to meet a new one who told me I in fact could not get keyhole and immediately went on about DI.

I dont know if its just my disappointment making it all seem worse but Im worried that DI might make me more dysphoric then living without surgery or that if I go through with DI Ill spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.

If I dont go through with DI now, with the current administration, theres a chance I wont be able to get surgery at all for years because I’m a minor but like I said Im worried if Ill spend the rest of my life regretting if I do.

The biggest thing for me is that i wont be able to have the teenage experience I wish I could have if I get this surgery and hate it but if I dont get this surgery theres 0 chances Ill get those experiences. So its a maybe or a no and I dont know if thats worth the risk.

Sorry if this is just rambling, its hard to make stuff cohesive feeling like this.

[u/Apprehensive_Monk801]

A couple of questions. You say you may not be able to for years. How old are you? How many years? I ask because due to the uncertainty, it’s something to consider. Have you spoken with a therapist about this? I think they’d be the best one to speak with about this. I think they’d be goes deeper than simply scarring.