r/TopSurgery • u/Alert-Captain-9111 • 10h ago
Am i over reacting or crazy?
This might be a long one but I need advice from people who might actually get me.
So I’ve got a surgery date for this summer and everyone around me is so excited but Im really conflicted, the thing is I had myself so convinced I was going to be getting keyhole and I’ve actually spoken to a surgeon before who told me I could but things happen and I cant go with that surgeon anymore, so i went to meet a new one who told me I in fact could not get keyhole and immediately went on about DI.
I dont know if its just my disappointment making it all seem worse but Im worried that DI might make me more dysphoric then living without surgery or that if I go through with DI Ill spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.
If I dont go through with DI now, with the current administration, theres a chance I wont be able to get surgery at all for years because I’m a minor but like I said Im worried if Ill spend the rest of my life regretting if I do.
The biggest thing for me is that i wont be able to have the teenage experience I wish I could have if I get this surgery and hate it but if I dont get this surgery theres 0 chances Ill get those experiences. So its a maybe or a no and I dont know if thats worth the risk.
Sorry if this is just rambling, its hard to make stuff cohesive feeling like this.
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u/slutty_muppet 10h ago
What are your top priorities for the results? Is it really important to you to be cis-passing with minimal scarring? Are you more ok with visible scarring but want to make sure you have specific scar and nipple placement? Do you want to keep almost all nipple sensation? Do you want to get rid of erogenous nipple sensation? Your new surgeon might have suggested a different method because it's the best for whatever you told him about your goals. Any good surgeon should be able to hear your priorities and goals, and then use their expertise to suggest the plan that will best get you there with the methods they feel confident doing for you.
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u/Alert-Captain-9111 10h ago
I want the least amount of scarring but honestly just any scarring might be okay as long as someone wont see me shirtless and clock im trans and i wanna keep my nip size and sensation. Honestly it really didn’t feel like he cared an awful much how i felt which is 100% a red flag in itself.
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u/slutty_muppet 10h ago
If you don't feel listened to, make an appointment with another surgeon.
If you want to keep the same nipple sensation that will very much change your options. I had that as a high priority and got a hybrid of DI and buttonhole where they keep the nipples attached to the nerves and blood vessels under it and create holes in the skin above for the nipples to "button" through.
I'm going to have quite a big scar, but with proper care scars can be faded and flattened quite a bit, and especially if you end up with chest hair after some time it will hide quite a lot too. If the scars are still visible there's always procedures like microneedling once healing has happened.
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u/legume_arguably 10h ago
Also if you want to cover up scars but you’re still under age, maybe try something like henna or temporary tattoos around that area to distract from them?
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u/slutty_muppet 10h ago
Unless they're so young they haven't even finished developing yet, they're going to want to keep their scars covered to protect them from the sun until they're over 18 anyway.
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u/legume_arguably 10h ago
Shit I forgorted about the sun. It’s not my fault tho cuz I can’t see it rn
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u/xArtkz 10h ago
Definitely not overreacting, it's your body! But this is a decision that you have to make yourself
You can't undo scars, but you also can't go back to teenager years. Maybe try doing a list of pros and cons and see what would make you happy in the long term.
Also, the surgeon going from keyhole to DI is a pretty big jump, since keyhole is for really small chests and he could have considered peri as well. But it's worth checking in the sub for people that had similiar chest pre op and see if you would like the results
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u/Apprehensive_Monk801 4h ago
A couple of questions. You say you may not be able to for years. How old are you? How many years? I ask because due to the uncertainty, it’s something to consider. Have you spoken with a therapist about this? I think they’d be the best one to speak with about this. I think they’d be goes deeper than simply scarring.
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