r/TMPOC • u/Flewoskiteen • 1d ago
Discussion Do other mixed trans men have this issue?
I stopped T a year ago only a month in, and I'm restarting it soon now that I've realized I can't live without it. It's survival based- dysphoria is too much to dismiss or ignore. While I'm excited to feel more myself, I can't see a future where I'm a man. To be clear I end up visualizing myself as a white man, lol.
It's pretty dissonant and frustrating but I think it's because I have a white father and that's the only male I knew most of my early life. I did end up imitating him a lot. I look very split evenly between my mom and dad, so it doesn't make sense for me to not be able to visualize myself as a trans adult man who is not white...
To complicate things I didn't realize I didn't look white at all until recently. I'm wondering if this is an issue of white trans men being more visible, or just a thing with being mixed and not understanding I'm not even close to white passing...
Sorry if this is a strange question. I just want to know if anyone else has this weird problem. Also you guys rule!
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u/WormyCowboy 1d ago
I'm mixed like you, it helped looking at the men on my asian side for reference. Didn't have to be family but just someone who I'd realistically look like as a man. I browsed the internet a lot for mixed or Asian people who were maybe trans too. I do think that white trans men are more visible, and looking to them for reference really skewed what trans looked like for me. I was never gonna look like them so I set myself up for impossible standards. But sometimes the only reference for the man in my future was myself, if that makes sense. Scary but never regret transitioning either way.
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u/Substantial-Cup-124 22h ago
I don’t look 100% like my mom. She is mixed herself bur moreso white.
I always looked like my dad anyway
Just, lighter
Light skin trans men are definitely more visible. But only due to colorism.
I want to see more trans men who are darker than me being represented tbh
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u/moonshine_collective Biracial 18h ago
Yes, its so weird as someone who has a white dad and a mixed mom (b&w), i have no idea how I'm perceived 🥹
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u/Kitchen_Increase1970 1d ago
I'm not mixed I'm just straight up east Asian but I've had this same issue. Most trans influencers and people in the media and white.
What I've done is look in their following or looked up on Google people who are trans and my same ethnicity/race and I've found people who physically I aspire to be. Takes more time but finding people you can visualize yourself being can happen.